AITA for not wanting to work during my cousin’s wedding?

A mountain wedding in Colorado should have been a joyful getaway, but for one Reddit user, a professional filmmaker, it turned into a clash of family expectations. After RSVPing as guests and booking costly flights, OP and their husband faced their cousin’s request to film the wedding for a “small stipend,” despite their lack of wedding experience. Torn between keeping the peace and protecting their boundaries, OP declined, risking a rift with their particular cousin.

This AITA post reels with the tension of mixing work and family at a milestone event. Reddit’s framing OP as in the right, but is their refusal fair, or a touch too rigid? Let’s roll the tape on this wedding dilemma, where cameras and cousins collide.

‘AITA for not wanting to work during my cousin’s wedding?’

A cousin’s late request to turn guests into videographers unspooled a family conflict. Here’s the Reddit user’s story in their own words:

This wedding videography dispute highlights the pitfalls of blending professional skills with family obligations, especially when requests come with unfair expectations. The cousin’s post-RSVP ask, leveraging OP’s expertise for minimal pay after they’d committed as guests, smacks of opportunism, ignoring the intensive nature of wedding filming.

OP’s refusal, grounded in their non-wedding expertise and desire to celebrate, protects their personal and professional boundaries, but the cousin’s persistence and emotional pressure reveal a lack of respect for their role as guests.

Dr. Elaine Rodino, a psychologist specializing in family dynamics, notes, “Family members often exploit professional skills under the guise of favors, creating resentment when boundaries are enforced” (Source). A 2023 Journal of Family Issues study found that 55% of family conflicts over event planning involve assumptions about free labor from skilled relatives (Source). The cousin’s “over budget” excuse and expectation of high-quality work for free underscore this dynamic.

This ties to broader issues of family entitlement and work-life balance. OP’s offer to find a local videographer was a fair compromise, and their final refusal, citing logistical and quality concerns, was strategic.

Advice: OP should reinforce their stance in writing, saying, “We can’t film and celebrate; let’s connect you with a local pro for the quality you want.” They should attend the wedding to avoid escalation but set a firm precedent by declining future family work requests. Discussing boundaries with their husband can align their approach for future events. If tensions rise, a neutral family member could mediate.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

Reddit focused sharp support, zooming in on the cousin’s entitled ask with critical cuts. Here’s what the community had to say about this wedding reel ruckus:

These Reddit clips champion OP’s boundary, but do they miss the cousin’s budget stress? Is OP’s no a clear cut, or a shade too blunt?

This wedding saga frames a filmmaker’s fight to stay a guest, not a worker, at a family milestone. OP’s refusal to film their cousin’s nuptials, despite her pleas, won Reddit’s applause, but her upset reaction leaves OP wary of a fallout. Were they right to guard their enjoyment, or should they have softened the blow? Have you faced family pushing your skills for free at big events? What would you do to keep the peace—or the lens cap on? Zoom in with your thoughts below and keep the convo rolling!