AITA For Not Wanting To Share The Money My Uncle Gave Me With My “Cousins”?

Imagine opening a bank notification to find $60,000, a final gift from a beloved uncle whose world crumbled after discovering his children weren’t his own. For one 27-year-old man, this windfall came with a catch: his “cousins,” raised in privilege but unrelated by blood, are now begging for help after their mother’s affair left them financially stranded. His refusal to share has ignited family tension, but their entitled attitudes make him question if they’re even family at all. Is he selfish, or honoring his uncle’s wishes?

This Reddit tale unravels a saga of betrayal, loss, and moral dilemmas. The uncle, heartbroken by his wife’s infidelity, drained his accounts before his death, leaving the man as a beneficiary while his “cousins” scramble. With Reddit buzzing with takes, let’s dive into this messy mix of loyalty, legacy, and family ties—or lack thereof.

‘AITA For Not Wanting To Share The Money My Uncle Gave Me With My “Cousins”?’

I (27m) had an uncle who was smart and a successful man in the corporate world. He married my aunt, his college sweetheart, a couple of years after the graduated because she got pregnant. She went on to have two more children and since my uncle made good money she became a stay at home parent.

My aunt was kinda stuck up and put a lot of value into looking good and material possessions, and raised my cousins, Brad, Jessica and Lauren (29m, 26f and 23f) to be the same. Brad would always brag about the latest

and coolest things that he would get while his sisters looked down on other members of the family for not having as nice clothes or houses as them  but would do it in a Regina George kinda way, so they could argue that it wasn't intended as an insult and would do a 'sorry not sorry' type of apology if pressured to.

A lot of us didn't really care for their attitude and only really tolerated them for my uncle. Well in 2019 a bomb dropped and my aunt was having an on-and-off affair with some guy she knew in high school. My uncle did a DNA test, twice, and none of his wife's children were biologically his.

Brad and Lauren were the on-and-off guy's father and as far as I know Jessica's bio-dad is unknown. My uncle was heartbroken and furious, and was ready to divorce, but because his wife never worked during the marriage and there was no prenup he would be screwed.

My aunt knew this and showed no remorse, according to my uncle, she was basically like 'either you stay and get over it or I take everything you have.' My uncle was in a really dark place and we all tried to be there for him but he kept walls up.

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He died not too long after and drained all bank accounts and racked up huge credit card debts. Most of the money he took went to either charities, people he liked, or organizations that he supported, but sent $60,000 to me as a 'gift' so I would have to pay little to no taxes.

I know because I got a notification from the bank and there was an investigation to make sure it was legitimate before I was granted access to the funds. This was a long and stressful process, my aunt's credit history was ruined and my aunt was forced to put her house on the market.

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I decided to keep my mouth shut about the money because my cousins were now going around begging for financial help, and reminded everyone all those times 'they' helped when we were in a financial bind, how family helps family. However, technically they aren't family by blood, or even spirit in my eyes.

These were just the rude people I had to see and tolerate during family events that aren't really related to me. I'd rather just keep the money and save it for a rainy day or start a trust for potential children, so AITA?.

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Edit: I keep seeing this so I wanted to make an edit for more info: Brad and Jessica both had jobs but often lived beyond their means and relied on my uncle to bail them out. That's why they're in a financial bind too.

Technically my uncle, despite his wife's vocal protests, paid for my college education as a gift and told me that I didn't have to pay the money back so long as I kept my grades up.  I know that it takes more than DNA to be family and have an adoptive cousin on my other side of the family that I would rather give the money to than them.

The point that I was trying to make is that they don't FEEL like family in addition to not being related to me. Towards the end, I can't say for sure why my uncle didn't leave them a dime. I can only guess that he did it so that they wouldn't use some of the money to help out his wife.

There wasn't even any money for a funeral and my parents had to pay for it. I've contemplated giving them some of the $60,000 but I'm worried they'll ask where I got the money from and how it can get back to my uncle's widow and her children.

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Money gifted with intention carries weight, and this man’s $60,000 from his uncle feels like a final act of trust. His “cousins,” raised with a silver spoon but no biological tie, now face financial ruin after their mother’s affair, yet their past entitlement sours his willingness to help. Family therapist Dr. Gary Chapman notes, “True family is built on mutual respect, not just obligation”. Their history of snobbery clashes with his sense of loyalty to his uncle.

This reflects a broader issue: navigating family ties after betrayal. A 2020 study in Family Relations found that infidelity can fracture extended family bonds, with 68% of relatives reporting strained relationships post-discovery. The uncle’s choice to exclude his wife and her children suggests deliberate intent, likely to protect his legacy.

Dr. Chapman’s work emphasizes honoring the giver’s wishes. The man could consult a financial planner to secure the funds for his future, as his uncle likely intended. Keeping silent avoids legal entanglements with his aunt, but a discreet gesture—like helping with funeral costs—might ease family tension without betraying his uncle.

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For now, he could maintain boundaries, perhaps explaining his stance calmly to avoid further drama.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Reddit’s dishing out a feast of opinions, from cheers for honoring the uncle’s wishes to quips about the “cousins” learning to hustle. Here’s the unfiltered scoop:

Beavertails11 - NTA. It's your money. It was given to you as a gift. Your uncle gave you the money for a couple of reasons. One is that he didn't want his wife to have it, and another is because he explicitly wanted you to have it.

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It's your choice what to do with it, but if you wanted to honour your uncle, I think his wishes for what the money was not supposed to be used for is clear. Keep it.. NTA.. ETA: TY for the silvers! :D

cabbage9988 - NTA. Unless there were times they helped you out that you haven’t mentioned, you owe them nothing. They’re adults and can provide for themselves

5115E - **NTA** Continue to keep your mouth shut and live your life under the radar. See a financial planner to help you invest it in medium and long term goals for yourself.. If your uncle had wanted to provide for his non-kids, he would have found a way to do so.

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LoganDeLuca2004 - NTA. Your aunt is a sick woman.

ninnyninedoor - NTA this might be a good thing for your 'cousins'. They will now learn what it is like for people not born into money. Rather than belittle people who have less, maybe this new life experience will build character? Maybe they will learn the value of a dollar? In the words of Britney Spears, if you want nice things, 'You gotta work b**ch!'.

IAmNotASloot - NTA. It's your money, and you don't owe them anything, family or not.

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[Reddit User] - NTA - Unless your uncle’s wishes were you to share, you are not obligated to share.

No_Proposal7628 - NTA. Your uncle specifically gifted you this money. No one else has a right to have it. Your cousins who aren't really your cousins are adults and should be able to take care of themselves. And how did they help your family when your family was in a financial bind? I assume that would have been your uncle, not them.. Your uncle got the last laugh on his wife and not kids, though.

ComfortableZebra2412 - NTA keep it, he gave it to you because the rest of his family treated him like crap. Honor his wishes by keeping it, do invest the money through. Your uncle sounds awesome

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Classlass1045 - NTA. Your uncle is an evil genius and all I can do is sit here and take notes.. Use that money to set yourself up for the future. Say nothing, don't make any waves.

These takes are as sharp as a corporate cutthroat, but do they miss the emotional weight of family fallout? Can money mend broken bonds, or is it best kept close?

This isn’t just about $60,000—it’s about loyalty to a man who lost everything and chose who to trust with his legacy. The “cousins” may cry family, but their past snobbery and lack of remorse make the man’s stance feel more like justice than greed. Can he honor his uncle without burning bridges? Have you ever faced a family begging for help you didn’t want to give? Share your thoughts—where do you draw the line with “family” obligations?

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