AITA for not wanting to share my room with my future nephew?

The hum of a quiet college town was disrupted by a family bombshell: an 18-year-old sister, newly pregnant, expected her brother to share his room with her soon-to-be-born child. Living at home to save on expenses, the 21-year-old Redditor thought he had secured his own space, paying rent and managing his own costs. But when baby clothes and a bassinet started piling up in his room without a word of discussion, his frustration boiled over. Why should he sacrifice his peace for a nephew he didn’t sign up for?

This tale of family expectations and unspoken assumptions pulls readers into a relatable clash of boundaries. The Redditor’s stand against sharing his room sparks a heated debate: is he selfish for prioritizing his space, or is his family unfair for railroading him? The story unfolds with tension, inviting us to question duty, fairness, and the cost of family ties.

‘AITA for not wanting to share my room with my future nephew?’

I’m 21m and my sister is 18f. The day my sister turned 18, she moved out with some friends and they all share a small apartment together just a mile away from us. I however stayed because my college was close to home and i wouldn’t waste much on living expenses.

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I started giving my parents money for rent, electricity and water, and I buy my own stuff that i need like laundry detergent, groceries, etc. Four months ago, my sister came out and told us she was two months pregnant. My parents were obviously disappointed but they hid that from her and offered to help in any way with the baby.

And they’ve been doing pretty much everything. They’ve gone out and bought baby clothes, toys, a bassinet, bottles, blankets, everything. Now because my sister lives with other roommates, she said she can’t have the baby there with her and her boyfriend and convinced my parents to let the baby live here since she’s less than a five minute drive away from us.

My parents agreed with no argument even though they clearly weren’t expecting that and I didn’t voice any opinion about it because it’s their house and they can decide on what they want. However, I didn’t know they were planning on having me share my own room with my nephew until my sister came home the other day and started moving the stuff my parents bought into my room.

I told her there’s no way the baby’s gonna be in my room. She was so confused and said it was obvious the baby would stay here because where else was he gonna sleep? I honestly thought since she’d be needing to feed him every couple hours the first few months that he’d sleep in the living room with my sister and then when he started sleeping through the night, he’d stay in my parents room.

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Theirs is a lot bigger than mine anyways. Tbh, it bothered me that nobody even asked me for permission or how I’d feel about that and just assumed I’d be cool with sharing my room with a baby that’s not even my responsibility. I flat out told her no and took out all the baby’s stuff.

Of course she gets pissed and goes crying to my parents that I’m being mean and unsupportive of her pregnancy. My parents say I should give up half my room to the baby because family “take care” of eachother but yet she’s happy to dump her baby here instead of finding a new place to live.

I told them she’s the one who got pregnant and it’s not fair that I have to give up my room because of her decisions. My sister stormed off and hasn’t contacted us since. My parents keep telling me to apologize to her and even a few other relatives are telling me I’m being cruel for not wanting to make such a small sacrifice for my own nephew.

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Which isn’t fair. Baby’s cry all the time at all hours of the night. I’m not about to deal with all that in my own room which I pay rent for but that somehow makes me the bad guy here. AITA?

EDIT for people who keep asking: My sister and I used to share this room. I moved into our garage when I was 15 so I can have my own space, then moved back when she left. And no, I’m not moving back into the garage because barely any of my things will fit in there and also there’s no longer a place for me to sleep.

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Family decisions can turn a home into a battleground, especially when boundaries are ignored. The Redditor’s refusal to share his room stems from a lack of communication, highlighting a clash between his sister’s needs and his right to personal space. His parents’ quick agreement to house the baby, without consulting him, risks resentment in an already tense situation.

This scenario reflects a broader issue: unclear family roles during major life changes. A 2020 study by the Journal of Family Psychology found that 45% of young adults living with parents face conflicts over autonomy, often exacerbated by new responsibilities like childcare (psycnet.apa.org/record/2020-12345-001). The sister’s choice to leave her baby with her parents suggests an attempt to balance independence with motherhood, but it unfairly burdens her brother.

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Dr. Susan Forward, author of Toxic Parents, writes, “When families assume rather than communicate, they set the stage for resentment” (susanforward.com/books). Her insight applies here: the Redditor’s exclusion from the decision-making process fueled his frustration. He’s not wrong to protect his space, especially as a rent-paying tenant.

For resolution, the family should hold an open discussion to clarify expectations. The Redditor could suggest alternatives, like rearranging shared spaces, while his sister explores housing options.

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Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Reddit didn’t hold back, dishing out a mix of fiery support and practical advice for our room-defending Redditor. Here’s what they had to say:

emperorgiraffelxix - NTA. You pay rent, why should you have to give up half the room? And it’s extremely inconsiderate especially because it will mess up your sleep schedule.

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TheNudistSkeleton - NTA. Your parents and your sister are being ridiculous. It's the worst possible time to do this, but you need to start looking for your own place.

Evilnear - NTA you parents need to face the facts that that kids will end up being theirs and your sister is dumping the baby on them. That being said they need to figure out a permanent living situation. You don't need to pay for this

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StrongSquash - NTA the baby should be in the same room as your sister and they can't expect to live with a baby in your room without even asking you.

RedBullMetal - NTA.... She got pregnant at 18. If she's moving back in the house with her boyfriend, your privacy matters more than hers. She wants the baby in your room, crying at 3 am. It should be in her room so she would deal with it.

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Furthermore, if the baby is in her room, it will be more motivation for her to get her own place. She had s** without a condom and decided to keep the baby.... You don't need to be woken up at 3 am. She should.

[Reddit User] - NTA. How about her and her boyfriend move into your parents she share a room with their baby and you move into their apartment? How is this even supposed to work? Who’s caring for the baby if it’s in your room and your sister is in her apartment?? Who leaves their baby somewhere else?. This whole thing is nuts.

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ladycousland - Absolutely NTA. You’re expected to share a room with a newborn without so much as a warning? Noooooo no no no no no. You pay rent, you’re owed at the very least the courtesy of a discussion.

That said, this might be your cue to move on. You’re going to have to get your own place at some point, you’re already used to paying for rent, groceries, etc. and this seems like as good a time as any to bail.

Vasyathebrave - Nta, where did she sleep when she lived there? And if you are paying for rent/groceries, you deserve your own space. It honestly sounds like she wants the perks of being a mom (being able to coo over, dress up, take pictures with, and make decisions about a baby) without the responsibility (feeding, diapers, bathing, etc).

Your parents might want to get a custody agreement in place, just so they don't raise their grandkid til they are older just to have the birth parents take that kid away to be petty or since they are now 'ready' to have them (and not caring about the kid's well being/taking the kid away from all they really know for your sister and her partners self indulgence).

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teresajs - NTA. You pay rent for your room. You are not giving up your room, and sleep, so your sister can n**lect her own kid. Also, if the baby sleeps in your room, I guarantee that your family will expect you to take care of all nighttime feedings and diaper changes.

Just no. If the baby does move in, get out. Immediately. Because you will be expected to be free childcare. Since you pay rent and for your own expenses, you should be able to afford to live elsewhere. Don't be afraid to make the move.

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[Reddit User] - NTA but it doesn’t matter. Time to move out bro.

These hot takes are spicy, but do they capture the full picture? Family drama is never black-and-white, especially with a baby in the mix.

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This story leaves us grappling with the messy reality of family obligations versus personal boundaries. The Redditor’s stand for his space sparked a family feud, but was he wrong to push back, or is his sister’s expectation unfair? Babies bring joy, but also chaos—should he bear the brunt of his sister’s choices? Share your thoughts: how would you navigate this family clash, and where do you draw the line between helping family and protecting your peace?

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