AITA for not wanting to return to my sister’s house?

Under the dim glow of a late-night movie, a young woman’s commitment to her nieces took an unsettling turn. Tasked with babysitting her sister’s daughters, aged 6 and 2, she’d always found joy in their laughter and chaos. But when her sister’s unemployed boyfriend called her outside to confess his attraction—declaring her “more his type” than her sister—the cozy warmth of the evening vanished. His words, laced with inappropriate details, left her rattled, dreading every moment in his presence.

This uncomfortable encounter thrust her into a dilemma: protect her peace or continue supporting her sister’s childcare needs? The sting of her mother’s dismissal—“all men are like that”—only deepened her resolve to stay away. As she wrestles with whether to tell her sister, readers are drawn into a tangled web of loyalty, boundaries, and the courage to say no. What would you do when family ties clash with personal safety?

‘AITA for not wanting to return to my sister’s house?’

I (24F) sometimes watch my nieces (6F, 2F) because my sister (28F) has to work. I love my nieces so I don't mind watching them even if I have to do it for days in a row. My Sister recently started working the night shift so I started staying over whenever I could.

This wasn't a problem until recently when my sister's boyfriend (27M) called me outside after everyone else fell asleep when we were watching a movie. He's unemployed but does small jobs every now and again but he's unreliable and smokes weed so that's why I watch my nieces.

When we were outside he confessed that he was attracted to me and said I was more his type than my sister. I asked him why he was telling me this and he said he just wanted to get it off it chest but what was I to do with this information?

I stopped him in his tracks when he started telling me he had a dream of us having s** and went back inside. I didn't tell my sister about it but the whole time I was there with him I felt uncomfortable. When I got home I told my mom what happened

and that I wouldn't be watching my nieces again but she said all men are like that and I shouldn't stop watching them. I really love my nieces but I can't do it and I know my sister will be mad because I haven't told her why but does that make me the AH?

When family dynamics tangle with inappropriate behavior, the fallout can feel like navigating a minefield. The Redditor’s decision to stop babysitting stems from her sister’s boyfriend crossing a clear boundary, confessing feelings that made her feel unsafe. Her mother’s dismissal downplays the severity, while her hesitation to tell her sister reflects fear of fracturing their bond. The boyfriend’s actions, however, signal a red flag, especially given his unreliability and presence around young children.

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This situation touches on a broader issue: navigating unwanted advances within family settings. A 2023 study by the National Sexual Violence Resource Center notes that 1 in 4 women experience inappropriate sexual comments or advances, often in familiar environments. The Redditor’s unease is justified, as such confessions can escalate if unchecked.

Dr. Gail Saltz, a psychiatrist specializing in relationships, advises, “Setting boundaries after inappropriate behavior is crucial for safety and self-respect. Transparency with family can prevent further harm, even if it’s uncomfortable”. Here, the Redditor should consider calmly telling her sister the truth, framing it as concern for everyone’s well-being, including her nieces’.

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For solutions, she could offer to babysit at her own home, ensuring a safe space for the girls while avoiding the boyfriend. Open dialogue with her sister might foster understanding, though it risks conflict.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

The Reddit community came in hot, serving up a mix of support and sharp advice with a dash of humor. From urging the Redditor to spill the tea to her sister to slamming the boyfriend’s creepy behavior, the comments are a lively mix. Here’s what they said:

[Reddit User] - NTA, but tell your sister. Not all guys are like this, and she deserves the chance to find one.

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False-Mail-940 - NTA. No, not 'all men are like that'. That's bs. you should tell your sister what happened, and why you don't want to watch your nieces anymore. Maybe she won't believe you, maybe her boyfriend will tell her that it was you who hit on him, and maybe she'll believe you.

But anyway, you can't leave her in the dark, she has to know that her boyfriend made a pass at you and that you don't want to be around him anymore; nor can you watch your nieces when he is around.

Dandelionesssssss - Tell her! All men are not like that! Ew. And NTA.

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winesis - YTA for not telling your sister. She is the AH for having a a live in BF who doesn’t work, smokes weed around her kids, who can’t be trusted to watch them, who isn’t faithful, & who costs money she should be using on her children.

terrapharma - NTA. If you continue to go over it's guaranteed that he will think you want him and he will start escalating. Sadly, this isn't likely to turn out well no matter what you do. He will manipulate the truth and make you appear to be in the wrong. Your sister is likely to fall for it. Stay away.

UnwantedAdvice1 - NTA. A. your mom telling you to suck it up and go watch your nieces is unacceptable. She is condoning the boyfriends actions and is pushing you into an uncomfterble and possibly dangerous situation.

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A man thinking it is ok to blurt out their feelings and then when you reject starts explaining in detail his fantasies will just escalate and can try to force himself on you.. B. No most men are not like that. C. Dont go back. Tell your sister why you don't want to go back.

She deserves to know that her low life BF who seems to not contribute anything to the household would like to contribute his only useful attribute (if we can call it that) (aka his d*ck) to any female and not just her.

KittKatt7179 - NTA. And no, not ALL men are like that. Maybe you should ask your sis to drop the kids off at your place on the nights that you are supposed to keep them. Do not set yourself up for failure. He is telling you what he wants to do and next thing you know, he will act upon them and your sister will get told that you initiated the whole thing.

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harleybidness - NTA. Maybe you could tell sister the BF creeps you out without explaining why. You will babysit only if he is not present, even if she is there. Sisters boyfriend is the A**HOLE.

Motor_Business483 - NTA. ​Tell your sister the reason you won't come over any more when her partner is there. She deserves to know the truth.. ​ And this is crazy anyway: WHY would she need you to babysit when her bf is there. Is he that much of a deadbeat?

Backgrounding-Cat - NTA your mom just volunteered to babysit

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These Reddit takes are bold, but do they hit the mark? Is keeping silent protecting the sister, or does she deserve the truth?

This story of a babysitter caught between love for her nieces and discomfort with a creepy confession leaves us pondering tough choices. The Redditor’s instinct to step back protects her peace, but her silence might leave her sister vulnerable. As family ties strain against personal boundaries, the path forward demands courage and honesty. Have you ever had to set a boundary that risked family drama? What would you do in her shoes—tell the sister or stay quiet? Drop your thoughts below and let’s unpack this messy situation together!

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