AITA for not wanting to pay for my coworker’s baby shower party?

A 29-year-old office worker politely declined to contribute $200 to a pregnant colleague’s office baby shower, saying he had no personal stake in her pregnancy. The planners called him selfish and walked away, while his girlfriend later said he should pay for “just a few hundred dollars.”

To complicate matters, the amount requested was large—enough to buy gold-leafed cupcakes or 75 bottles of soda—and the 35-year-old mother-to-be had openly shared her pregnancy journey with the group. The man congratulated her but was adamant he wouldn’t sponsor a luncheon he wasn’t interested in. Now the office is divided, and HR may get involved.

‘AITA for not wanting to pay for my coworker’s baby shower party?’

It all started when the poster settled into his office job three years ago, keeping things strictly professional.

After a 35-year-old coworker shared her fertility struggles and pregnancy joy, two planners asked every colleague for cash.

When he refused to pay $200, the planners labeled him selfish; his girlfriend later sided against him.

Asking coworkers to contribute to personal milestones can foster camaraderie, but demanding $200 each for cupcakes and soda turns the celebration into coercion. The poster never signed off on a financial obligation that exceeded his salary.

Complicating the story is the power imbalance—the planners cornered him publicly and resorted to abusive language, which could constitute workplace bullying. Etiquette expert Elaine Swann notes, “Voluntary donations should be under $20; anything higher requires a non-judgmental refusal” (CNN Business, 2024). Refusing doesn’t make someone selfish; it protects personal boundaries.

Some people say that small donations in the office help build morale, but $200 is too small compared to the usual $5 to $10 required. Forcing participation risks resentment and even HR complaints for creating a hostile environment. Your girlfriend’s views reflect social pressure, but the money is still the individual’s to allocate.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Most users back the poster, stunned at the $200 price tag for a lunch-break party.

A few offer measured counterpoints, suggesting modest contributions are normal office courtesy.

Lighthearted replies poke fun at the absurdity without piling on.

The man drew a financial boundary and faced backlash for it, exposing how office “kindness” can morph into entitlement. While some see $200 as trivial, others view it as extortion for cupcakes.

Have you ever been guilt-tripped into funding a coworker’s life event? Where do you draw the line on office collections—$5, $20, or hard pass? Share your wildest stories below!