AITA for Not Wanting to Pay Child Support After My Wife Cheated with My Older Brother?

His wife cheating with his own brother would have been devastating enough. But for this man, the fallout didn’t stop there. After five years of marriage and slowly drifting away from his extended family to focus on building a life with his wife, he discovered the ultimate betrayal—an affair between the two people he should have been able to trust most.

Before he could even process that, another shock hit. She told him she was pregnant—and insisted the baby was his. While his mother urged him to “be a man” and move on, he found himself stuck on one question: is he wrong for demanding a DNA test before agreeing to pay child support?

‘AITA for Not Wanting to Pay Child Support After My Wife Cheated with My Older Brother?’

Everything started unraveling when what seemed like a stable marriage suddenly cracked:

I never thought my life would end up like this, but here we are. I’ve been married to my wife for five years. After we tied the knot, I didn’t...

It wasn’t intentional; we just drifted apart. My wife and I were focused on building our own lives, and that’s what mattered to me. A few months ago, my world...

I found out my wife had been having an affair with my older brother. The betrayal was like a punch to the gut. I didn’t even know how to process...

When he turned to his mother for support, her reaction only deepened the wound:

But it got worse. When I told my mom what happened, she didn’t react the way I expected. Instead of supporting me, she took my brother’s side. She actually told...

Hearing that from my own mother was like salt in the wound. Since then, I’ve cut contact with my brother and haven’t spoken to my mom much either.

As if that wasn’t enough, another bombshell followed:

Now, my wife—or soon-to-be ex-wife—has come to me with another bombshell: she’s pregnant and says the baby is mine. Here’s the thing—I can’t even be sure. We were still being...

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But after everything she’s done, I don’t know what to believe anymore. She’s already talking about how I’ll need to pay child support, saying that I have no choice if...

I’m not stupid; I know what my legal responsibilities are. But I can’t bring myself to just accept this without knowing for sure. I want a paternity test before I...

Torn between anger and responsibility, he asked:

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But even if the baby is mine, part of me feels like it’s so unfair that I’m stuck supporting someone who betrayed me in the worst way possible. My mom...

How can I be expected to just accept all of this like it’s no big deal? So, am I the a__hole for wanting to confirm that the baby is actually...

At the heart of this situation isn’t just child support—it’s shattered trust. Discovering a partner’s affair can be deeply destabilizing. When that affair involves a sibling, the emotional impact often cuts even deeper. Psychologist Shirley Glass, author of Not “Just Friends”, has written that infidelity can create trauma-like symptoms, leaving the betrayed partner questioning their entire reality.

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From a legal standpoint, child support is about the child’s well-being, not the parents’ relationship. If a DNA test confirms paternity, financial responsibility is typically unavoidable. Given the circumstances, however, requesting a paternity test is entirely reasonable.

Some argue that personal resentment shouldn’t interfere with parental duty. Family counselors frequently emphasize that children should not become collateral damage in adult conflicts. If the child is biologically his, separating anger toward his ex-wife from his role as a father will be crucial.

A practical path forward would involve three steps: confirm paternity through official testing, consult a lawyer to understand custody and financial options, and seek therapy to process the betrayal. Clear legal boundaries and emotional support can help him make decisions rooted in stability rather than rage.

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These are the responses from Reddit users:

Social media users quickly weighed in—and most agreed on one thing.

Many strongly supported getting a DNA test first:

Reddit User − You need to confirm that the child is indeed yours because of the events circulating around your ex pregnancy, however, if it is yours, then you need...

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it's your kid after all, & your kid has nothing to do with the s__tty decisions people around you have made You not the a-hole here, unless you don't pay...

LakeGlen4287 − NTA. Get the paternity test before agreeing to pay child support. If it is yours, you are tied to this woman for at least the next 20 years,

but only as the mother of your child, you are free to divorce and date/marry someone else. Your mother just wants this grandchild, she doesn't care which of her sons...

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CakePhool − NTA. You need to take paternity test before even agreeing to anything.

Others encouraged him to take even stronger action:

Grizzlygrowl1223 − Get the paternity test and sue for custody if it’s yours

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Pretty865-Artwork − NTA Cut them all off. They are all selfish and toxic. Get a DNA test and confirm that it's your child. I don't blame you for not wanting...

She sounds like a monster. Tell her if the child is yours you are going to sue for sole custody of the child the moment it's born.

WarNeverChanges_2077 − NTA, your wife and brother broke your trust in the worst way possible, I don’t blame you for not trusting her but if the child is yours it’s...

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Some focused on legal and mental health advice:

No_Performance8733 − Talk to a lawyer. Immediately. Stop talking to all of these people. Get professional support- legal, therapy, consider an antidepressant like zoloft if it gets really bad.

Stop talking to all of these people. Your (soon to be ex) wife can communicate with your lawyer once you have one. You can get a paternity test now, science...

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Virtual_Bat_9210 − I mean, you get a DNA test when the baby is born and then you know. If it is your baby, you will not be “supporting someone who...

And of course, a few doubted the entire story:

Reddit User − Maybe im TA but this reads fake as f__k

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Reddit User − This is a common storyline over on Literotica.

Caught between betrayal and responsibility, this man is facing an impossible emotional crossroads. Wanting a DNA test before committing to child support seems like a rational step in a situation clouded by deception.

Still, if the child is biologically his, the conversation shifts. At that point, it’s no longer about his ex-wife—it’s about an innocent child. What would you do in his position?

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