AITA for not wanting to house my sister’s fiancé?

In the dim glow of a living room, where family bonds once thrived, a storm brews as a 28-year-old man faces his pregnant sister’s desperate plea. She and her fiancé, Dale—a notorious freeloader with a rap sheet of job losses and eviction battles—need a place to stay after a fallout with a friend. The man offers his sister refuge but draws a hard line at Dale, whose history screams trouble.

His refusal ignites a fiery row, with his sister branding him a heartless brother. As their move-out deadline looms, the air crackles with tension. Is he wrong for shielding his home from a known chaos-maker, or is he failing family in their hour of need? This clash of loyalty and self-preservation pulls readers into a drama that mirrors every family’s tightrope walk.

‘AITA for not wanting to house my sister’s fiancé?’

My sister (27f) has been with her fiancé “Dale” for 3 years. My family and myself (28M) absolutely cannot stand him. From day one he was just this rude obnoxious slob and we don’t have a clue what she sees in this guy. He’s 30 and can’t hold down a job for s**t. Either he quits because he doesn’t like it or gets fired after many absences.

We’re embarrassed to even go out to a restaurant with him because he will throw a fit over something in his food to try to get a free meal. I try to avoid interactions with him when I can because I can’t stand him. With the pandemic, my sister got laid off and they moved in with a friend a few months ago to save up on money.

Especially because they found out my sis is pregnant 3 months ago.. Now my sister tells me Dale and his friend got into some dispute so they can’t live there anymore. She’s asking if it’s ok if they stayed with me a while but I don’t think that’s going to happen. Aside from Dale being an ass in general I’ve heard he’s an even bigger pain to live with.

Before the pandemic, there a was a whole drama with the landlord at his old place. Dale stopped paying rent and then was refusing to leave even after being given an eviction notice. No idea how it went down but he managed to stay there longer until the landlord could go through the whole court process to get him out.

My sister told me all about it because she was having fights with Dale trying to get him to just leave already. The last thing I want is to invite that possible headache into my home knowing what a freeloader he is. Might even be harder right now if I decided I didn’t want him in my house anymore with some places still putting evictions on hold.

I told my sister my concerns. She swears Dale wouldn’t do that but she couldn’t even convince him to move out of the last place he was staying at. Now I get she’s pregnant and I told her I’d be more than happy to give her a place to stay...just not Dale.. She’s pretty mad I’m not willing to help him out as well and for not trusting them.

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They’re supposed to be moving out by next week with still no place to go. I told my sister my offer still stands for her but I can’t accept Dale with his history .She says I’m an awful brother and can’t believe how badly I’m acting in their time of need. Am I being an a**hole for going down this route?

This family standoff feels like a high-stakes chess game—each move fraught with risk. The OP’s sister, pregnant and jobless, seeks shelter with her fiancé, Dale, whose track record of joblessness and eviction drama screams trouble. The OP’s offer to house only his sister is fair but sparks accusations of betrayal.

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Dale’s behavior—freeloading and exploiting tenant laws—raises red flags. As family therapist Dr. Gary Chapman notes, “Boundaries protect personal well-being while fostering healthy relationships.” The OP’s stance guards his home, but his sister’s loyalty to Dale clouds her judgment. This reflects broader issues: family financial burdens often strain sibling bonds.

The OP should hold firm but offer support, like helping his sister find stable housing. A calm discussion about boundaries might ease tensions. If Dale’s patterns persist, she may need to reassess her choices.

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Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Reddit’s takes are as sharp as a landlord’s eviction notice! Here’s what the community had to say:

IAmHerdingCatz − NTA. Dale, on the other hand, sounds like an absolute peach.. I hate peaches.

Ctiiu − NTA- Dale sounds like a piece of work, I think you have the right idea, not letting him into your home. Good on you for offering a place for your sister, but I highly doubt she’ll take it.

CelticSkye − NTA!!!!! Do NOT let this guy live in your home. Depending on tenant laws in your area, which he definitely knows based on previous drama you mentioned, he can easily make the claim that your home is his residence which would give him protection under the law. That's the last thing you want. Your sister obviously has no influence over him or his decisions so her claims of 'he wouldn't do that' are moot.

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You are not required to help either of them and your concerns are extremely valid. It's not your fault she's tied herself to a loser that will do whatever he can to scam and freeload off people. She has options. She has a place to stay with you. It's *her* choice not to take it. Therefore she can live with the consequences of that decision.

[Reddit User] − NTA. Personal view aside, he has a horrible track record. I wouldn’t take him in either.

Glittering-War-5748 − NTA. Hard no. Don’t even have him over for a meal in case he stays, he sounds awful

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Sheila_Monarch − NTA. You’re being just fine to her in her time of need. You don’t owe Dale s**t.

[Reddit User] − Due to Reddit Inc.'s antisocial, hostile and erratic behaviour, this account will be deleted on July 11th, 2023.

Zombiemommy1980 − NTA and be prepared if your sister does move in that Dale will sleep over and most likely not leave. Make sure to educate yourself on your tenant laws to prevent him and your sister from becoming a unwanted tenant. Protect yourself and be proactive.

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Mpg19470 − NTA. Don’t be guilted into letting him stay. People like that don’t change. You will regret letting him into your home.

Boozychka − NTA. Make sure you don’t put him in your house or it will be difficult to get him out. As per your sister, she will soon realize who is her Fiancé. You are doing right thing to just offer help to her, you don’t need the extra stress from this Dale. Good luck!

These opinions cut deep, but do they clarify the drama or just fuel the family fire?

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This housing clash leaves us wondering: is the OP wrong for barring his sister’s fiancé, or is he wisely protecting his home? Family loyalty and personal boundaries clash like oil and water. What would you do if a loved one’s partner brought trouble to your doorstep? Share your thoughts and experiences below!

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