AITA for not wanting to give my wealthier sister the lion’s share of the inheritance?

Shirley Stafford Hours
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A family meeting over a will turns into a battleground when three brothers learn their sister is set to inherit twice as much as each of them. Their parents cite her teenage years spent babysitting during tough financial times as justification, but the brothers, eyeing her current wealth, call the split unfair. Tensions flare when their sister, silent during the discussion, later texts that she doesn’t want the extra share but finds their reaction out of line.

This tale of family loyalty and lingering resentment pulls readers into a drama where gratitude clashes with perceptions of fairness. The sting of an uneven will meets the weight of past sacrifices, leaving us wondering: are the brothers wrong to challenge the split, or is their sister’s larger share justified?

‘AITA for not wanting to give my wealthier sister the lion’s share of the inheritance?’

Yesterday, my parents sat me (31 M), my two brothers (32M, 34M) and my sister (41 F) down to discuss their will. My parents informed us that they want to split it five ways, my sister gets 2/5 while the three of us brothers get 1/5 each. Their reasoning is that my sister 'sacrificed' her childhood for our family so its only fair she gets compensated.

In our childhood, my father's business partner screwed him over so there was a period where we were broke and in debt. My parents had to work multiple jobs to keep us afloat, and my sister babysat us while our parents worked. All she had to do was feed us and keep an eye on us.

We were pretty calm kids so all we did was play games and do our homework. It probably wasn't thrilling, but not exactly a tremendous hardship. I complained to my parents along with my brothers that its insane they want to give my sister 2/5 of the inheritance over that, especially since she's financially the best off out of all of us. She doesn't have any kids and a dual income with her partner.

My parents said they're disappointed in us, and said we need to reflect on ourselves. My sister didn't say s**t while my parents spoke, but texted us afterwards that she had zero intention of taking 2/5 but we were all assholes.. AITA for feeling like this split is unfair?

Dividing an inheritance can feel like splitting a family’s heart, and this case is no exception. The brothers’ outrage over their sister’s 2/5 share stems from her current financial success, but they downplay her teenage role as a caregiver during their family’s hardship. Their parents’ decision honors her sacrifice, while the sister’s willingness to forgo the extra share shows her desire for fairness, not greed.

Dr. Pauline Boss, a family therapist, notes, “Parentification—when a child takes on adult roles—can have lasting emotional impacts” (Family Process Journal). Studies show 15% of children in financially stressed families take on caregiving roles, often losing social opportunities (American Psychological Association). The brothers’ dismissal of their sister’s efforts as “just babysitting” ignores the burden she carried. Their focus on her wealth now overlooks the unpaid labor that helped the family recover.

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Advice: The brothers should reflect on their sister’s sacrifices and express gratitude to their parents for any inheritance. A family meeting with a neutral mediator could clarify intentions and rebuild trust.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

The Reddit crowd dove into this family feud like it’s a Thanksgiving dinner gone wrong, serving up sharp takes and moral jabs. Here’s the unfiltered scoop from the community:

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SwimmingCritical − YTA. Even if she just stayed at home while you were there, she didn't have teenage freedom and she made sacrifices and took on responsibilities. It doesn't matter how affluent she is now, your parents are trying to pay her back for what they couldn't pay her then.

Helpful_Hour1984 − YTA. Not many parents are willing to acknowledge that they parentified a child. Your sister sacrificed her teenage years to help your parents take care of you. There may not have been any inheritance at all for you to quibble over, if not for her unpaid labor back then.

Sunny_Hill_1 − Yep, YTA. First of all, you are not entitled to any of your parents' money, they could have left it to a cat shelter and that would have been fine. Second, yes, she did in fact make a huge sacrifice by basically becoming a third parent 

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and babysitting you all the time. All the time you've spent playing? She could have been out with her friends, enjoying her childhood, and instead she was making sure her siblings were fed and out of trouble. You are terribly entitled.

Realistic-You9997 − YTA - ‘all she had to do was feed us and keep an eye on us’. WTF ?. That’s what parents are supposed to do NOT a sibling.. She did sacrifice her childhood for you ! It’s amazing that even tho she spent all that time caring for her ungrateful siblings she still did well for herself.. Has it occurred to you that she doesn’t have kids because she already raised you and your brothers ?. THANK YOU for the award. I never gotten one before 😊

LavishnessQuiet956 − YTA. It sounds like your parents have an inheritance to give in large part because of your sister supporting them, which allowed them to get out of a financial hole. It was respectful of our parents to explain their choice;

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they could have left it without any explanation and that is their right. Also, you’re ten years younger, you have no idea what it was like for your sister. You assume you were easy, but you seem pretty entitled now so I’m guessing you were harder than you knew. She helped parent you, full stop.

mofohank − F**king hell, you're getting 20% of the inheritance instead of 25%. You're not angry that you're getting less, just that she's getting more. And she f**king raised you. Then you claim that looking after 3 kids alone when you're a teenager is the same as not getting lifts to friends' houses.

Apparently raising kids is nothing, but they should get all the money. And to top it all off, she was on your side until you were such a bellend about it. I really hope your parents do adjust the will, it's only going 1 way if so.. Oh, and YTA.

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RamblingManUK − 'All she had to do was feed us and keep an eye on us.' So no after school clubs, no seeing her friends, no going out. YTA, This would have had a huge effect on her life. I also have to wonder if she doesn't have kids because she'd already raised you three, this happens to a lot of poeple who had to care for their siblings.

Medium_Shake4624 − Unfair how? You are getting free a money/assets for nothing, your parents decided your sister deserves a large portion based on what she did for the family, clearly you weren’t raised to respect your parents decisions

sksmonk − YTA (Along with your brothers) You should respect your parents decision and be grateful they are giving you guys anything.

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Jessika1111 − YTA - an entitled AH. Your parents owe you no inheritance and can do with it whatever they want. You should be grateful you are getting 1/5! Did you even say thank you? Everyone makes their own choices in life - having kids, studying and what type of employment.

You should be doing everything you can to provide for your own family and not expecting a hand out. It’s lovely that your parents acknowledge your sisters sacrifices and loss of childhood. Your parents and sister seem like great people.

Redditors slammed the brothers’ entitlement, praising the sister’s sacrifice and the parents’ acknowledgment. Some called the brothers ungrateful, while others noted the sister’s humility in rejecting the larger share. But do these fiery opinions capture the full story, or are they just fueling the family flames?

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This family’s inheritance dispute lays bare the tension between gratitude and fairness. The brothers’ challenge to their sister’s larger share reflects a narrow view of her teenage sacrifices, while her willingness to share equally shows a generosity they might learn from. As their parents stand firm, the path to healing lies in open dialogue and mutual respect. Have you faced family disputes over inheritance or past sacrifices? What would you do to mend this family rift? Share your thoughts below!

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