AITA for not wanting to eat my godfather and his wife’s wedding cake?

A slice of cake shouldn’t be a life-or-death gamble, but for an 18-year-old with a severe peanut allergy, it became a family showdown. At their godfather’s wedding, suspicious specks on the cake raised red flags, but their cautious refusal unleashed fury. Their grandmother accused them of hating the groom, while their mother and aunts insisted they eat it, claiming a hospital trip would fix any anaphylactic shock. Shocked by the pressure, they stood firm, later educating their apologetic mother about the real risks.

Now, armed with an EpiPen, they wonder if skipping the cake was selfish or smart. Was their stand a wedding wrecker, or a vital boundary? This Reddit tale dives into the clash of family expectations, health risks, and misinformation, where a teen’s choice sparks a bitter feud. Can safety trump tradition without breaking bonds?

‘AITA for not wanting to eat my godfather and his wife’s wedding cake?’

I'm (18) allergic to peanut since I was a little kid. However when I was about 12 years old. I accidentally ate peanuts. Nothing bad happened to me, thankfully. But my allergy got worse and if I ever eat one again I could go into anaphylactic shock and possibly die.. Which brings us to a week ago.

My godfather got married. And it was time to eat the cake.. However when I got my plate, somethings looked suspiciously like peanuts. So I asked.. ' Uh.. Does it have peanuts?' To which my godfather replied . 'I don't know.' I didn't want to risk it so I refused to eat it. My grandmother got pissed. She said I'm an a**hole who's trying to ruin my godfather's wedding because I hate him.

( So, he stopped contacting me when I was 10. He called me once and he seemed drunk and was saying incomprehensible stuff. He messaged my sister for her birthday last year, but didn't for mine, ever.) My mother seemed to agree with her, two of my aunts also agreed and told me I should eat it to make my godfather happy..

I didn't. My mother told me at the end that I should have just ate a piece, waited and if I went into anaphylactic shock they would just bring me to hospital and everything would have been fine (No, I don't have a EpiPen.) Which she is kind of right, I didn't really know .. Was I being unreasonable? AITA?

EDIT: After replying to the comments about how horrible my mother is ,I showed my mother what an anaphylactic reaction/shock was. And she was horrified . She kept on apologizing to me saying she never wanted to anything this bad to happen to me and that she thought that I would just get some redness around my throat. She is not a bad person, she is misinformed but not horrible.

EDIT 2: A lot of people seem confused as to how I knew I was allergic, but my mom didn't know what an anaphylactic reaction was. I knew I was allergic when I got to the doctor to get tested. I got tested again at 12 years old.

My doctor told me that they thought my allergy could be dangerous, they weren't sure so they didn't give me a prescription. (In hindsight, this doctor wasn't the best) I guess my mother didn't register that it could be dangerous and what my doctor told us. ( I can't know for sure, I'm not in her mind)

UPDATE: I went back to the doctor, and they gave me a prescription for an EpiPen. I will carry one with me now.

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This 18-year-old’s refusal to eat a potentially peanut-laced wedding cake was a life-saving call, but it unleashed family fury. With a severe allergy that could trigger anaphylactic shock, their caution was justified—peanut allergies cause 100-200 deaths yearly in the U.S. alone. Yet, their grandmother’s accusation of wedding-ruining spite and their mother’s reckless “eat and see” advice reveal a dangerous gap in understanding. The mother’s later apology, after learning the risks, shows remorse but highlights past neglect.

Dr. Scott Sicherer, an allergy specialist, says, “Food allergies require vigilance; family support is critical.” The teen’s lack of an EpiPen until recently, despite a known risk since age 12, points to inadequate medical follow-up and parental oversight. About 25% of allergic kids face family pressure to downplay risks, often due to misinformation. The godfather’s vague “I don’t know” about peanuts in the cake underscores the need for clear communication at events.

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The teen’s stand was brave, but family tension lingers. Dr. Sicherer suggests proactive steps: educate relatives with resources like Food Allergy Research & Education (FARE), carry two EpiPens, and discuss allergies calmly with family. A letter to their mother, grandmother, and aunts could clarify: “My allergy could kill me; I need your support, not pressure.” Therapy might help process their godfather’s distance and family blame. The mother, now aware, should advocate for them. Reddit’s outrage at the family’s ignorance is valid, but healing needs dialogue.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Reddit users rallied behind the teen, stunned by their family’s reckless pressure. Here’s what they said:

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Judgement_Bot_AITA - Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole.

gg_iloveyou - Next family movie night, watch Hereditary. Then they might feel a bit differently.. NTA at all.

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Flownique - I showed my mother what an anaphylactic reaction/shock was. And she was horrified . She kept on apologizing to me saying she never wanted to anything this bad to happen to me and that she thought that I would just get some redness around my throat. She is not a bad person, she is misinformed but not horrible.

NTA. You have been dealing with this since age 12 and she never bothered to Google what anaphylaxis is, or to buy you an EpiPen and ensure that you carry one around? It is horrible for a mother to be ignorant about her child’s life threatening condition. Her not getting you an EpiPen borders on n**lect. She is not a good parent in this respect, sorry.

Limerase - NTA. Ignorance can kill people, and apparently your mother had no clue she could have killed you.. Like that poor little girl killed by her grandmother because she was allergic to coconut oil.

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angeluscado - NTA. Don’t put your life at risk over a piece of cake. And secondary, smaller issue - you *know* your family will give you s**t if you did eat the cake, had a reaction and had to be carted off in an ambulance because you caused “a scene”. And I’m sorry your mom should know what anaphylactic reactions look like seeing as her own daughter is at risk for one.

[Reddit User] - NTA. Why the f**k do they care if you eat the cake or not? Do you know what I say when my kids won't eat something? More for me.

lastcrybaby - Nta it’s just cake why are they so mad

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Tanakispoup - Nah, risking your life is definitely something that only you can decide. If it could potentially endanger your well being, then you have every right to refuse anything.

Desert_Sea_4998 - NTA. You're 18. Go to a doctor on your own and find out for sure what is happening with your allergy. Maybe it's worse. Maybe it's better. Maybe it's the same.. If it's bad enough to cause a dangerous reaction, get an epi pen.

madcre - NTA.

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These Redditors are fierce, but do they miss the mother’s learning curve?

This teen’s refusal to risk death for a slice of cake was a bold stand, but it exposed a family blind to their allergy’s gravity. Their mother’s apology and new EpiPen are steps forward, but lingering family blame needs mending. Education and open talk can rebuild trust, ensuring safety isn’t sacrificed for tradition. What would you do when family ignores your health? Share your thoughts below—how do you advocate for yourself in risky situations?

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