AITA for not wanting to babysit children at a wedding?

The buzz of wedding season was in full swing, but for 23-year-old Emma, the excitement took an unexpected turn. Her friend, knee-deep in planning her sister-in-law’s November nuptials, dropped a bombshell: Emma was suddenly “needed” at the wedding not as a guest sipping champagne, but as an unpaid babysitter for strangers’ kids. The text message landed like a cold splash of water, leaving Emma torn between disbelief and irritation at the audacity of the request.

This wasn’t just a casual favor; it felt like a dismissal of her time and dignity. Emma, who wasn’t even close to the bride or groom, found herself grappling with the nerve of being roped into childcare duty under the pretense of an “invitation.” The clash of social expectations and personal boundaries has sparked a lively debate, as Emma wonders if she’s overreacting or rightfully defending her worth.

‘AITA for not wanting to babysit children at a wedding?’

My (23F) friend's sister-in-law is getting married in november. My friend is helping to plan the wedding and has been sharing some of the details with me. It has been previously understood that I would not be going to the wedding because I'm not a close friend of the bride or groom nor am I a relative.

This has never bothered me and I've just been excited to know that two people that love each other are getting married. Today, my friend texted me and told me that I might have to go to the wedding. When I asked her why, she told me it would be to take care of the guests' children. I thought she was joking but then she insisted that she was serious.

I asked if I would at least get paid for taking care of kids that aren't mine and that I barely know and she said that going to the wedding was enough pay. Personally, I find it a little disrespectful that I would be invited as a nanny and not as an actual guest that would get to enjoy the wedding as much as the other guests.

I'm not even interested in being invited but if they actually wanted me to go I would want to be a normal guest, not someone taking care of at least 3 kids under 10 years old that I don't know how to handle. However, I considered the fact that they might actually need someone to help out. So, am I being dramatic and an AH or should I stand my ground?

Emma’s situation is a glaring example of boundaries being tested under the guise of a favor. Her friend’s expectation that she’d babysit strangers’ kids for free at a wedding she wasn’t invited to reeks of entitlement. By framing it as “payment” to attend, the request devalues Emma’s time and assumes her availability. It’s a subtle but real overstep, often seen when social pressures clash with personal autonomy.

This scenario reflects a broader issue: the undervaluation of childcare labor. According to a 2024 Care.com report, the average cost for a professional babysitter is $18-$25 per hour. Yet, Emma was offered nothing but the “privilege” of attending. Dr. Susan Newman, a social psychologist, notes, “People often exploit personal relationships to avoid paying for services, assuming goodwill overrides fair compensation”. Emma’s friend likely leaned on their bond to dodge hiring a professional.

The wedding’s childcare dilemma also highlights poor planning. Expecting Emma to manage multiple kids under 10, without prior discussion, sets her up for stress and liability. It’s not just unfair—it’s impractical. Emma’s reluctance isn’t dramatic; it’s a defense of her self-respect. Her friend’s insistence dismisses her valid concerns, prioritizing convenience over mutual respect.

Emma should firmly decline, as Dr. Newman suggests, by stating, “I’m not available to babysit, but I’m happy to help find a professional service.” This sets a clear boundary while offering a solution. If the pressure persists, she could limit contact temporarily to reinforce her stance. Emma’s story invites reflection on how we value others’ time and labor in social settings.

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Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Reddit’s reaction was a resounding cheer for Emma, with users slamming the request as rude and exploitative. They emphasized that childcare is a paid profession, not a favor to be demanded, and praised Emma for questioning the absurd expectation.

The community saw her friend’s “invitation” as a thinly veiled attempt to offload responsibility. These fiery takes underscore the importance of respecting boundaries and recognizing the value of others’ time.

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Adara_Wyvern − NTA. If they need a babysitter, they should pay for one. I would suggest staying far away from that wedding.

GlibTurret − I asked if I would at least get paid for taking care of kids that aren't mine and that I barely know and she said that going to the wedding was enough pay. Would going to the wedding be 'enough pay' for the caterer? The florist? The DJ? No? They have to pay all those people? Then why the heck wouldn't they have to pay the babysitter!. This is rude as hell.. NTA.

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teresajs − NTA No one 'has to attend a wedding' unless they are the bride and groom. And you certainly don't 'have to' babysit strangers' children for free. Tell your friend that they need to make other arrangements for childcare because you have nothing to do with this wedding and certainly aren't a free babysitter.

Bostonguy50 − NTA unfortunately you'll be mowing grass or something

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PrettyLittleAccident − NTA. Stand your ground. That is a ridiculous thing to ask. If they don’t want kids at the wedding, tell their guests not to bring them. If they want a babysitter, hire a babysitter. They shouldn’t expect you to watch their guests kids for no pay and no reason

Lovegivingadvice − NTA and politely decline. Either they are asking you to do a favor - to which you can decline. Or they are offering you a job- which you can consider and say yes or decline.

cara180455 − NTA. How is going to a wedding that you have to watch kids through enough pay to watch the kids? That’s ridiculous.

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fiio83 − NTA - Nope nope nope. Your friends sister in law, someone you aren't close to wants you to attend her wedding to be an unpaid nanny? It doesn't sound like a good use of your time at all. Just say no and don't even justify it. You don't need to justify yourself for such a selfish demand.

ChocolateKoko − NTA. Your friend could’ve asked you if you wanted to do it for [some type of] compensation. Otherwise, there is literally a whole profession of qualified people available for hire who will care for the children [for money].

Twallot − NTA. Sounds like your friend told them she'd figure out childcare for them and wrote a cheque her ass can't cash.

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Emma’s wedding saga, from a surprise text to a bold stand, is a lesson in holding firm against unreasonable demands. Her refusal to be roped into free childcare at a stranger’s celebration speaks volumes about self-worth in a world quick to exploit goodwill. Have you ever faced a similar “favor” that felt more like a trap? Share your experiences below—let’s swap stories!

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