AITA for not wanting to associate with my partner’s creepy sister?

Tension simmered in the cozy new apartment, where a young man’s dream life with his ideal partner hit an unexpected snag. At 26, he’d found love, a fresh start, and a home filled with promise—until his partner’s sister entered the picture. Her unsettling comments and persistent texts cast a shadow over his happiness, leaving him uneasy and questioning his boundaries.

What do you do when family ties clash with personal comfort? This Reddit user’s story unfolds a dilemma that’s both awkward and deeply relatable, sparking debates about respect, boundaries, and loyalty in relationships.

‘AITA for not wanting to associate with my partner’s creepy sister?’

I (26M) have been with my partner for almost two years now & i finally met my ideal guy. I have a good life with him, and we recently moved in to a new apartment. The one problem I have, is his sister! My partner comes from a large Italian family.

He has one sister in particular that he’s close to & was the first family member he actually introduced me to. She’s also in her late 30’s & she’s single. She has a bad track record with dudes apparently. I thought she was cool at first, but things got pretty weird very quickly between us..

She would make comments talking about my ‘BBC’, how she’d ride me if i was straight, suggestive looks & just gave off a super weird vibe. My partner thinks she’s just joking but she’s absolutely not. I know this because she’s found my number & started to send me weird texts & emojis.

She’s convinced that she can ‘turn’ me & I recently blocked her. I’m not straight or bi, and it’s gotten to the point where it’s uncomfortable for me. She clearly has a fetish for black men in particular. I’m a tall, masculine-presenting black man, so people don’t usually assume i’m gay right off the back. She probably also sees me as a creepy challenge.

This quarantine has been a blessing in disguise, since i don’t have to see her anymore. I haven’t told my partner the whole story, simply because i know how much he loves her. He‘s frustrated that i don’t want to associate with her, so AITA for not wanting to be near her?

Family dynamics can turn a blossoming relationship into a minefield. For this Reddit user, the issue isn’t just awkward—it’s a clash of respect and boundaries. The sister’s suggestive comments and texts aren’t just inappropriate; they’re a form of harassment that puts the man in a tough spot, torn between his discomfort and his partner’s family loyalty.

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This situation highlights a broader issue: unwanted advances often go unchecked when cloaked as “jokes.” According to a 2021 study by the Pew Research Center, 41% of Americans have experienced online harassment, with many cases involving inappropriate sexual comments (pewresearch.org). The sister’s behavior, especially her racial fetishization, adds a troubling layer, reflecting a lack of respect for the man’s identity and orientation.

Dr. John Gottman, a renowned relationship expert, notes, “Trust is built in very small moments, which I call ‘sliding door’ moments” (gottman.com). For the Reddit user, his partner’s dismissal of the sister’s actions risks eroding trust. The partner’s loyalty to his sister may blind him to the harm, but open communication could shift the dynamic.

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The man should calmly share the full extent of the sister’s behavior, including the texts, and express how it affects him. Setting firm boundaries—like limiting contact with the sister—can protect his well-being. Couples therapy might also help navigate this family tension, ensuring both partners feel heard.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Reddit’s no stranger to spicy takes, and this story brought out some fiery opinions! Here’s what the community had to say about this uncomfortable family drama:

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Stlrivergirl − NTA. However, you should let your partner know the whole story. You state that he’s frustrated. And if he knew the whole story, and loves you, he should fully support you wanting some distance. And read the riot act to his sister at the same time.. I’m sorry she makes you feel uncomfortable. Her behavior is gross.. Good luck! ❤️

purplepoppy424 − Definitely NTA. You need to tell your partner and show him all of the messages. That’s totally inappropriate.

smokey_flutterby − NTA but you need to find a way to tell your partner because you won't be quarantined forever, and her behavior isn't going to stop unless you stop it. The 'I'm going to convert you' BS makes me so angry.

She's basically s**ually harassing you sweetheart, and you partner is blinded by love for his sister. I hope he takes it well, but if he is truly Mr.Right, he'll support you and respectfully ask her to back the funk up!. Best wishes hun!

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Oshira − NTA, she's creepy as f**k. If the genders were reversed most people would think that a guy hitting on his sister's girlfriend thinking he could 'turn' her would be predatory and creepy. This is still the case in your scenario. I'm sorry your partner doesn't have your back. Have you showed him the texts? If he's a good guy hopefully he will tell his sister to knock it the f**k off.

eneyeseeohelee − Mate that’s literally s**ual harassment. Super inappropriate behaviour from her and I think your partner should definitely know. NTA - I don’t think it would be unreasonable for you to refuse to associate with her at all anymore unless her behaviour changes and she apologises.

deadoverdesigner − NTA by any stretch of the imagination. Also I can’t imagine just standing by and letting someone s**ually harass my partner or calling it a joke when my partner asks for the harassment to stop.

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invisibuni − NTA but you should probably show your partner the messages and discuss the extent of the creepy and your concerns.

avast2006 − NTA - but your partner will figure that out for himself if you show the messages. Trying to make that point without bringing the receipts is where he would tend to be resistant.

ButtCatTheElder − NTA in the least, this is really unsettling, disrespectful -- and oh yeah, it's flat out r**ist! My mind is spinning from all the boundaries this weirdo had jumped. Hitting on your sibling's partner is not acceptable, at all. It sounds like you have a future with this person,

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and his sister isn't taking any cues, so it's going to warrant a sit down with text receipts kind of talk. It may end the relationship, if he refuses to accept the truth or defends his sister's disgusting behavior. In that case, you're getting out when the getting's good!

But that's only the worst case scenario. My hope is he sees the distress this causes and he puts his sister and her creepy ways in check. You deserve that as well as an apology for her r**ist 'joking' comments and inappropriately s**ual behavior.. Good luck! 🤞

witcher252 − NTA. Make sure your partner is aware of those texts etc, explain how it makes you feel.

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The Reddit crowd’s united: this sister’s behavior is way out of line. But do these hot takes hold up, or are they just internet bravado?

This Reddit tale leaves us pondering where to draw the line between family loyalty and personal boundaries. The man’s stuck in a sticky situation, balancing love for his partner with the need to feel safe. What would you do if a family member’s “jokes” crossed into harassment? Share your thoughts—have you faced a similar dilemma, and how did you handle it?

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