AITA for not wanting the first dance at my wedding to be “God’s Plan” by Drake?

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Picture a glowing bride, twirling in her white gown, lost in a romantic first dance with her soulmate. For one 29-year-old Redditor, that dream was set to the tender notes of Moulin Rouge’s “Come What May,” a song woven into her love story with her fiancé, Terrence. Their college days, filled with musical magic, made the choice feel fated. But a dark cloud loomed when Terrence’s friend Ian dangled $3,000 to swap their heartfelt melody for a cruel prank—Drake’s “God’s Plan,” with lyrics that could sting.

The offer, meant to humiliate her in front of loved ones, left the bride reeling. Terrence’s willingness to consider it for the cash sparked a heated clash, threatening their picture-perfect wedding plans. As she stands her ground, this tale of love, loyalty, and a tasteless joke unfolds, begging the question: is a moment’s sacrifice worth the price?

‘AITA for not wanting the first dance at my wedding to be “God’s Plan” by Drake?’

This is going to sound so ridiculous, but here goes. I’m a 29F getting married to Terrence, 30M. We’ve been together 8 years, and are very much in love and pretty much perfect for each other in all ways. Our wedding is scheduled for September, and wedding planning has been going great. The only argument we’ve had over it is the subject of this post.

Since Terrence and I met and started dating during our college production of Moulin Rouge(a musical), when we got engaged, I immediately suggested that our first dance be to Come What May(the romantic duet between the two main characters) because I feel like it perfectly encapsulates our relationship and how much we love each other.

We’re also both huge fans of the musical, and when I suggested it to Terrence, he loved the idea. However, Terrence recently came to me to tell me that his friend Ian(also 30M) offered him $3,000 to “prank” me during our first dance by switching out Come What May for God’s Plan by Drake.

Specifically, Come What May would play for around 30 seconds, and then it would switch to the part where Drake says “She says do you love me I tell her only partly I only love my bed and my mama I’m sorry”, which I think is really tasteless for a first dance at a wedding.

Ian works a high-paying corporate job(and also gets an allowance from his rich parents) and his sense of humor is sort of mean, so it makes sense he would offer something like that. Ian also told Terrence not to tell me, but Terrence wanted to tell me anyway because he felt I deserved to know.

I thanked him for telling me and started talking about how to confront Ian, but Terrence got sort of quiet and when I asked him what was wrong, he said we should consider doing it and I would just pretend I had no idea. He said that $3,000 could help pay for our honeymoon and we could invest it.

I was angry that he’d even consider doing it because it would be a) humiliating and b) Come What May has a lot of meaning to both of us, and I want our wedding to be about us, not Ian’s stupid prank. Terrence begged me to at least consider it because it would just be “one moment” of our wedding, but I said that I wanted our wedding to be a celebration of our love, not as a ploy to get money.

Terrence then got really quiet and told me he wanted alone time, and went off to our room. I texted my brothers for advice and both of them said that they understood where I was coming from, but that I was being unreasonable and a bridezilla to not even consider it since $3,000 is a lot of money.

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I’m starting to think I might be an a**hole because I guess in the grand scheme of life, our first dance isn’t the most important thing and $3,000 would really help us out. On the other hand, I just don’t want one of the happiest days of our lives to be soured by a dumb “prank”. AITA for not wanting the first dance to be ruined?

EDIT: I just want to clear something up real quick—our Moulin Rouge production wasn’t the official version, it was a knockoff version written and directed by students. That’s how we were able to perform it before the actual version came out in 2018. We didn’t make any money off of it, and we also changed the storyline to avoid any legal trouble. Sorry for the confusion!!

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This wedding dance debacle is more than a prank—it’s a test of trust. “A wedding is a public declaration of commitment, and pranks that undermine that can erode trust,” says Dr. John Gottman, a renowned relationship expert, in a Psychology Today article. The bride’s desire for a meaningful first dance reflects her emotional investment, while Terrence’s openness to Ian’s offer suggests a troubling prioritization of money over her feelings.

The couple’s conflict highlights a clash of values: her focus on sentiment versus Terrence’s practical view of $3,000. Ian’s prank, with its mocking lyrics, risks public humiliation, which Gottman warns can damage relational bonds. Studies show 70% of couples argue over wedding planning, often revealing deeper issues like loyalty or respect.

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Gottman advises couples to “turn toward” each other’s needs. Here, Terrence could validate the bride’s vision, while she might acknowledge financial pressures. A compromise—like a playful dance later in the reception—could preserve their bond.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Reddit didn’t hold back, dishing out spicy takes on this wedding drama. Here’s what the community had to say:

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QuinGood − NTA. BIG red flag!. Your intended should have shut down his friend's 'prank' when it was mentioned. If that sort of thing were done to one of my daughters, we would eat the money for the wedding/reception, leave and contact an attorney for an annulment the next business day.. Good Luck

Masta-Blasta − No! NTA at all! Some things aren't worth the money- especially when it's degrading or could ruin an important moment. This does BOTH. I think it would be funny if you were BOTH into it and made it into a joke first dance, but to even suggest it as a prank on the bride is just vicious. You should be in on every 'joke' or 'prank' planned for your wedding day.

Edit: Now I'm just trying to picture what this would look like if OP's fiancé actually did this without telling her. Holy cringe. What, are you supposed to just stand there in shock while the groom mouths the lyrics and dances alone?

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All for the 'prank' of basically confessing he doesn't love you in front of all your friends and family? Your fiancé's friend spends too much time on TikTok and has forgotten that moments last longer than 60 seconds and things can get very uncomfortable very fast.

smithjojo99 − INFO: is Terrence marrying you or is he marrying Ian?

FoolMe1nceShameOnU − **NTA** and consider this: If your fiancé is so eager to do this to you (KNOWING how unhappy it will make you on one of the most important days of your life) to amuse his vicious buddy for $3000, do you really think it's going to end there?

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How many other pranks do you think you're going to have to put up with for the duration of their friendship, once Ian knows that he can get away with doing s**tty, humiliating things to you for fun, and all he has to do is dangle money in front of Terrence? How often do you think it will happen?

How many more special occasions of yours do you suppose he'll ruin? Baby announcements? Anniversaries? Birthdays? Dinner parties? Once you allow this, you're telling Ian that it's open season on you, and Terrence, your lovable d**wit of a husband, is telling him that he's a sucker who'll gladly humiliate himself AND you for the right price. It will never stop.

Ian isn't just not a friend to you, he's not Terrence's friend either, or he wouldn't WANT to ruin his wedding. The man is 30 years old, not 15. At this point it's not 'pranking', it's just a flat-out sadistic streak, and he's looking for an outlet. If your husband goes along with it, you're going to be the b**t of jokes for the foreseeable future.

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Don't do this to yourself. Tell him no, but also I'd think twice about whether you want to marry a man with so little spine and self-worth that he would let a so-called 'friend' do something so miserably cruel to his new wife at his WEDDING for a laugh.

[Reddit User] − NTA. If Ian can afford to blow $3k on a dumb prank, he could just as easily just *give* you the money as a wedding gift. The fact your fiancé would rather indulge him at your expense than question why he’s trying to make this about him and his b**lshit should really have you putting any further plans on hold until you figure out what else he’s prepared to force *you* to put up with from Ian if the price is right.

HegoDamask_1 − NTA. First, do you really think you guys would actually see 3k? Let’s face it, the guy wouldn’t pay and would play if off as a joke. Second, a wedding isn’t a place for a prank or a joke, your soon to be Husband is a big AH for thinking it would be okay.

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[Reddit User] − NTA, you'll have the memory of that first dance forever. The 3,000 will be gone as soon you spend it. Memories Money

cookiequeen724 − NTA what the hell is wrong with all these guys in your life? Tell your fiance it's either Come What May or no first dance at all. So Terrence would rather prioritize his friend's joke than his wife's humiliation on your wedding day?

he first dance is a special moment that means something to you this isn't about Ian or your brothers or anyone else but you and Terrence. I'd put my foot down on this one. BIG red flag. PS - I absolutely ABHOR people who think mean pranks are funny. It's very telling of the sort of person Terrence is that someone like that is his close friend.

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Original_Platypuss − NTA. What reason does Ian have to offer 3 grand of his own money to ruin his friends wedding? He doesn’t really sound like a good friend to your fiancé and not only would I decline the offer but I would also consider uninviting him from the wedding.

I’d also have a chat with your fiancé because he admitted there was a possibility this would have happened anyway without your knowledge. You’d have been humiliated and embarrassed on your special day in front of your nearest and dearest and he’d have been in on it. It also begs the question what other embarrassment would he consider putting you through for a quick buck.

UrsaGeorge − NTA. If he insists on going through with it, burst into tears and walk off when the song comes on.

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These Reddit roasts are sizzling, but do they miss the heart of this couple’s conflict?

This Reddit saga leaves us wondering: can love withstand a $3,000 prank? The bride’s fight to protect her wedding’s magic reminds us that some moments are priceless. As she and Terrence navigate this rift, what’s the path forward—compromise, confrontation, or cutting Ian out? What would you do if a friend tried to hijack your special day? Jump into the comments and share your thoughts!

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