AITA for not wanting my wife to eat grass?

A family dinner took a sharp turn when a man, his vegan wife, and their five-year-old daughter arrived at his mother’s home for a big announcement: she’d gotten married, a secret kept despite a two-year romance. The new husband, barely known, mocked the man’s car, setting a sour tone. Dinner—a one-pot Greek chicken dish with no vegan options left his wife with nothing to eat, a stark shift from the usual side salad Mom provided.

When he questioned the menu, his mother snapped, insisting her wedding news trumped all, while her brother-in-law cruelly told his wife to “eat grass.” Hurt flashed across her face, and even their young daughter called Grandma “mean.” He stood up, declared they were leaving, and faced more jabs as they exited. Now, family brands him selfish let’s unpack this Reddit drama.

‘AITA for not wanting my wife to eat grass?’

My mom invited my sister and I over for an announcement the other night and told us that she got married. I don't know him well enough to judge but he seems like an ass because he laughed at my car and asked what I do for a living that I drove that s**t car.

I actually met the guy once but she never told me she had a boyfriend and they were together for two years, so I guess she doesn't give a s**t about me. My wife is vegan and my mom never cooks special food but usually has a side salad at dinner so she just eats the salad.

Well all she made for dinner was some one pot Greek dish with chicken in it and cooked in chicken brother, and there was no side salad. I asked my mom what my wife was supposed to eat and she got very upset and said she just got married, we're supposed to be happy, and the night is about her.

My five year old daughter actually told my mom that she is mean and my mom looked at me like I was supposed to do something. We sat down but I was immediately uncomfortable. I told my mom that I wasn't going to eat in front of my wife and my brother in law said my wife should eat the grass.

I could see how badly that hurt my wife so I got up and said we were leaving. My mom said we are selfish because she got married and it is about her. As we were leaving I heard her husband say 'yeah drive away in that car' My sister said that it was our mom's night and our chance to meet our stepdad and I should have sucked it up

This dinner dust-up simmers with hurt and hospitality gone wrong. The man, reeling from his mom’s unshared marriage, hit a wall when her celebration ignored his vegan wife’s diet—a known fact. Her new husband’s car jabs and the brother-in-law’s “eat grass” sneer turned a family moment toxic. His exit, backed by his daughter’s blunt callout, was a shield for his wife’s feelings.

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Dietary respect is basic hosting. A 2023 survey by the Vegan Society shows 62% of hosts feel obliged to offer vegan options for guests. Mom’s chicken-only dish, with no salad fallback, felt like a snub, amplified by her defensive “it’s my night” stance. The new husband’s rudeness and family’s mockery ignoring a guest’s needs tipped it into disrespect.

Dr. Amy Canevello, a relationship psychologist, notes, “Family events thrive on inclusion—ignoring a guest’s needs, then mocking them, fractures bonds; defending a spouse is loyalty, not selfishness”. His walkout was reactive but fair; Mom’s dismissal set the stage. Sister’s “suck it up” misses the deeper slight—hospitality isn’t optional.

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Mend this with space: let Mom reach out first. He could explain the hurt diet snub, cruel jabs calmly, seeking her take. A vegan dish at future meetups or a heads-up to bring food could smooth ties. Stepdad needs a reset call out his tone privately. For now, protect wife and kid, and let apologies pave the way.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Reddit roared in his favor, branding Mom and crew the real culprits. The crowd slams her for skipping vegan options, knowing wife’s diet, and letting her new man and brother-in-law mock her guest. A five-year-old spotting the “mean” vibe seals it kids see truth. Her “it’s my night” excuse flops; weddings don’t excuse rudeness.

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Some call her secrecy a red flag, others say distance; all cheer his wife’s defense. Suggestions? Hold firm require apologies before reconnecting. Bring vegan food next time, or host to set terms. The vibe’s clear: he’s no jerk; Mom’s hospitality tanked, and her new guy’s a cold start.

HoloNailPolish − NTA - daaaaaaaamn that was rude of your mom, her new husband and I'm glad you left. the FIVE YEAR OLD knew it was bad.

oliviamrow − NTA. Your mom's new husband\* is an a**hole who can't even be bothered to try and make a good impression when announcing that he's joined your family. Your mom is an a**hole who doesn't give a s**t about her guests when she hosts them, or about her new husband treating her guests like s**t. Your sister's wrong.

I would refuse to speak to them until they apologized, and then enjoy the long peace that results because they don't want to apologize. It sounds like you'd be better off TBH.. \* Edited, didn't mean to be insensitive to actual stepdads!

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dotkitten − NTA. Your mom knows that your wife is vegan. Even if she didn't, just because she got married and it's 'her' night, doesn't give her an excuse to treat you and your wife like garbage. Same goes for your stepdad and your BIL.

tonivarga − NTA. Just because it is their night doesn't give then right to step all over you.

sunflowersandyou − NTA Your family dynamic is really confusing. Who’s mom gets married without telling anyone? And yeah, that guys sounds like a total ass. That wasn’t selfish at all. *At the very least* your mother could have told you ahead of time that she didn’t have a vegan option so you could have brought something different for your wife. But wow. This whole situation is wild.

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RememberKoomValley − NTA. Your mom was setting a precedent that should not be borne.

_LadyRainicorn − NTA. The fact that your mum has never made an effort to accommodate your wife, aside from a side salad is really sad. Well done for standing up for your wife. I am vegan and I never *expect* to be catered for

and always offer to bring my own food, however I have never needed to as everybody who I have eaten with has been very accommodating for me. Just as I always accommodate friends with allergies.

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lightyrsaway − NTA. You can be a happy newlywed and still respect other people's dietary restrictions.

[Reddit User] − NTA. I don’t care if it was your mother’s birthday, wedding anniversary, and day or her baptism - there is no excuse for treating her daughter in law so disrespectfully. Good for you standing up for your wife.

100_Donuts − Do you really even need to ask if you're the a**hole? You didn't really paint anyone else with even a shade of niceness about them. If your side is to be believed, then yeah, everyone else besides your family was being and a**hole.. Do you really need the internet to affirm that?

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This wedding reveal dinner went from shock to sour, with a mom’s vegan wife snubbed by a chicken feast and cruel “grass” taunts. Her son’s walkout, sparked by his daughter’s bold call, put loyalty first, despite family gripes. A little salad or respect could’ve saved the night. Honest talks and better menus might mend it. Share your thoughts, feelings, and fixes below let’s dish on this family clash!

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