AITA for not wanting my sister’s boyfriend to sleep over?

A week without parents turned a cozy family home into a sibling battleground when a brother pushed back against his sister’s boyfriend sleeping over. With their parents off on a trip, the 23-year-old brother expected a quiet few days with his sister, until she announced her boyfriend would stay the night before their vacation. The living room, usually a place for shared laughs, now crackles with tension as his discomfort clashes with her defiance.

Her insistence on the sleepover, despite his unease and their parents’ likely disapproval, fueled a heated argument. Was he wrong to draw a line in their shared space, or is she overstepping by ignoring his feelings? This story of boundaries, family rules, and sibling loyalty pulls readers into a relatable domestic drama.

‘AITA for not wanting my sister’s boyfriend to sleep over?’

Me (23M) and my sister (22F) usually get along pretty well, however we just got into a huge fight. My parents have gone on a trip for a week, they left today leaving me and her home alone, but in two days my sister is also leaving with her boyfriend on a trip.

About two weeks ago she told me that her boyfriend was gonna be sleeping at our house these two days before their trip, while our parents are away. This made me a bit unconfortable so I told her that he could spend the day with us,

but I really didn't feel confortable with him sleeping over, even though it seems like a relatively serious relationship and her boyfriend seems nice enough, I don't really know him very well ( I've met him two or three times and we just greeted each other ), plus they have been together for only about 4-5 months.

She got really mad and we fought a bit but then I had to leave, because I wasn't staying home at the time and my ride was leaving. The next day I texted her saying that it's only 2 days and then they're going away for a week alone so I would really appreciate it if he didn't sleep over those two days.

Last week I came back home and we didn't really talk about it, but today I brought it up, asking if he was going to sleep over and she said yes. So we got into a huge fight, the dude is coming over later and I just have to deal with it. Should I have just kept quiet and let him sleep over without saying anything? Am I even entitled to feel unconfortable about this?

A sibling spat over a boyfriend’s sleepover highlights the tricky balance of personal comfort and shared space. The brother’s unease stems from barely knowing the boyfriend and the breach of their parents’ likely rules, while the sister’s insistence reflects her desire for autonomy in a serious relationship. Her refusal to compromise, knowing their parents’ stance, escalates the conflict.

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Dr. Susan Krauss Whitbourne, a family dynamics expert, notes in Psychology Today, “Siblings often clash when navigating shared spaces without clear rules.” A 2023 study from the Journal of Family Issues found that 60% of young adults living at home face disputes over house guests. The brother’s discomfort is valid, especially in a home he shares, but his unilateral stance risks alienating his sister. The sister’s secrecy about their parents’ rules suggests she’s avoiding accountability.

Dr. Whitbourne advises, “Open dialogue and parental clarity resolve sibling conflicts.” The brother could calmly explain his discomfort and suggest involving their parents, while the sister should respect the shared space and disclose her plans to them. A call to their parents could settle the rules, as it’s their house. Resources like Psychology Today’s family guides offer tools for navigating such disputes. Mutual respect and clear boundaries can cool this sibling flare-up.

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Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Reddit dove into this family drama with a sizzle, serving up a mix of support and shade like a heated dinner table debate. From backing the brother’s discomfort to slamming the sister’s secrecy, the comments are a lively blend. Here’s the unfiltered scoop:

[Reddit User] − INFO: *Why* do you feel uncomfortable with it? You say absolutely nothing about your reasons.

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Parsimonycake − Huh? She's going to be sleeping with him, not you. Who appointed you to monitor your sister's love life, and judge of how 'serious' her relationships are? YTA

aboutsider − YTA. You being uncomfortable isn't wrong. You trying to control your sister because you're uncomfortable is wrong.

External_Detail_26 − NTA I was going to say y t a until I read further and discovered that your sister has not told your parents because your parents would say no. She's not acting like an adult at all. She's acting like a child trying to get away with something.

BadgerinBaltimore23 − NTA: if it makes you uncomfortable having a man you don't really know sleeping in *your* house (yours as much as it is your sister's) then you get a veto here. She can stay with him if they want to be together. If your sister wants to have her boyfriend over on a regular basis like an adult can, then she needs to move out of mommy and daddy's house.

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LookAtNarnia − NTA, she's doing it knowing your parents don't allow it, and she's expecting you to lie for her to your parents. Not cool. No wonder you feel uncomfortable.

MaryAnne0601 − NTA. Your sister knows your parents would say no so she’s trying to steamroll you. Pick up a phone and call your parents. My sister tried to do this to me once. Your sister knows your parents and their boundaries about their home and is choosing to disregard them.

Everyone saying she’s known him 4 or 5 months is a joke. We’ve had women on here with guys for years and didn’t know half of what they did. This is your parents house so call them and tell them.

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Don’t let your sister put you in the middle. Your sister is probably counting on your parents blaming you if something happens because your the oldest and a guy. Leave it up to the people (parents) that own the house to make the decision.

LookAtNarnia − INFO what do your parents think? Their house, their rules.

[Reddit User] − NTA. You're living in the house just like she is. You both need to agree on who else is allowed there. You're right. She is about to go away with him on vacation. It's not like she is not going to see him.

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LetThemEatHay − YTA.. Is he sharing your bed? No? Mind your business.. Is he sharing your room? No? Mind your business. Do your parents know that he'll be staying there? Yes? Mind your business.

No? Then tell them, since it's THEIR house, but stop setting ground rules for a house that you don't get to make ground rules for. Since she's going away on a trip with this dude, one can assume your parents know, so they're pretty sure she's having s**.. Why are you against your sister getting laid?

These Redditors split on who’s in the right, with some cheering the brother’s stand and others questioning his control. Do their takes hit the mark, or are they just fanning the flames? This sibling showdown has everyone talking.

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This sleepover saga shows how fast sibling bonds can strain when boundaries blur. The brother’s push to block the boyfriend’s stay reflects valid unease, but his approach risks a deeper rift. The sister’s defiance, especially hiding it from their parents, fuels the fire. A frank talk with their parents could set clear rules for the house. What would you do if a sibling’s guest made you uneasy in your shared home? Share your thoughts below!

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