AITA for not wanting my overweight friend to go hiking with me?

Under the vast Arizona sky, a 32-year-old man mapped out a summer adventure, dreaming of rugged trails, starlit camping, and the thrill of moderate-to-difficult hikes. His plans took a sharp turn when his best friend, K, a 390-pound man with disabilities and an oxygen tank, invited himself along.

Citing brutal heat, rocky terrain, and safety risks, the man gently refused, only to face hurt feelings and a friend’s girlfriend’s wrath. This Reddit saga treks through the rocky terrain of friendship, where safety and personal plans collide with loyalty. Let’s lace up and explore what this hiking drama reveals about boundaries and care.

‘AITA for not wanting my overweight friend to go hiking with me?’

I’m 32. I’m slightly overweight but fit. friend who I will call K is 40 and weighs 390 pounds. I love K to bits he’s my best friend. However due to his disabilities and weight he can’t do much. He requires oxygen, needs AC, he can’t move half a mile before having to take a break. He gives up real easily on things too.

I decided I’m going to go hiking in Arizona this summer. I’m fully prepared and experienced due to me hiking in the past. The trails I chose are considered moderate to difficult. I’m also going to be camping out in the wilderness. I told K about my plans and how I was excited, and he insisted he should come along.

This would not be a good idea due to his disabilities and weight. If a room he’s in is over 60 degrees he’s sweating and barely able to breathe. Plus he can barely walk 5% of the trails I planned to go. I told him I’d prefer to do it alone, and explained to him how there will be no ac, phone service, or anywhere stable for him to walk. I also expressed concern for his oxygen tank.

Instantly he got defensive saying that he knows his limits and how he can handle it. I told him temps can go over 100 degrees and it’s all rocky terrain. I worry about his safety because if he falls and gets injured I won’t be able to help him easily. He stopped texting me at that point. A few hours later his girlfriend texted me saying I hurt his feelings and he’s been sulking over it.

She told me I should bring him regardless of what could happen and instead of camping I put money down for a hotel. I told her my reasoning and how I don’t want to do that. Hiking and camping is a hobby of mine and if I wanted to stay in a Hotel I would of booked it.. It’s been a couple weeks and neither of them are texting me and the girlfriend blocked me on Facebook.. Am I an a**hole?

This hiking standoff underscores the delicate balance of friendship and safety. The man’s refusal to include K was rooted in legitimate concerns—extreme heat, rugged trails, and K’s health challenges make the trip dangerous. K’s insistence, and his girlfriend’s push for a hotel, dismisses the trip’s core purpose and risks.

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Outdoor safety expert Dr. Gina Cleo notes in Wilderness Medicine, “Physical limitations must guide outdoor activity choices to prevent emergencies.” Studies show 30% of hiking injuries occur due to inadequate preparation or overestimating ability, especially in extreme conditions like Arizona’s summer. K’s mobility and oxygen needs heighten these risks.

The man’s boundary was fair, though a softer delivery might’ve eased the sting. Offering a separate, accessible outing could maintain the friendship. K should respect the man’s plans rather than self-invite.

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Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Reddit roared like a desert wind with this one—picture a campfire debate crackling with takes! Most backed the man, praising his safety-first stance and calling K’s self-invite rude.

Ok_Image6174 − NTA, why does he think he has the right to just invite himself on your trip, anyway??? You don't have to change or alter your plans just because he wants to come along, especially since you didn't even invite him. How rude and presumptuous.

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Solid_Quote9133 − NTA, your friend would not be safe on that trip. If the friend is interested in hiking maybe you could try an easy trail. Like one of the two mile trails that is used often.

Escape_Overlander − K is not being realistic to his limits and bringing him will be dangerous, also kind of rude he's trying to invite himself. Offer to take K to a local easy trail so he doesn't feel left out of this part of your life.

A destination trip is not a safe place to learn limits. I'm a frequent hiker an turned down an invite by two family members that are going hiking at the Swiss Alps, I'd love to go but I'm not confident I could make it. NTA

annrkea − NTA. Who invites themselves onto someone else’s vacation anyway? And then getting pissy when you say no? This isn’t about being fat, this is about being straight up rude. Let them block you. Their loss.. And if it matters, I am a fat lady.

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[Reddit User] − NTA, if something happened on the trail without cell reception or resources, he could die. You're looking out for him. The wilderness trail is not an appropriate place for an overweight disabled man on oxygen.

berserkergnome − NTA, Hiking here in Arizona in summer is no joke. It is almost a weekly occurrence that someone has to be rescued off on one hill or another. Especially in the valley where temps can hit 120 degrees.

hmo_ − So far:. \- I'm going to travel!. \- Cool I'm going with you!. \- I'll camping.... \- Just book a hotel!. Next:. \- But I'm hiking!. \- Forget about it, let's travel by car.. NTA

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Erient21 − NTA, as a bigger guy I know my limits and I keep to them and push them as needed, this guy doesn’t seem to want to accept his limits and his GF who should be worried about his safety more than he wants to do something should accept that.

And all of that was before even considering the fact that he invited himself to your trip and is demanding you make changes to it. Go on your trip and enjoy it, hopefully he will realize that it wasn’t about not being his friend but understanding his limits and boundaries as a person and friend.. Enjoy the hiking trip!

PhoenixRosehere − NTA. What is it with people inviting themselves on other people’s trip especially when it’s an activity they would struggle with. I’m also a hiker and do it solo. It takes a lot of planning especially if it is a new place. I would never take anyone who I knew would not only hold me back

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but put me/us in a difficult and possibly dangerous situation.. I rather have an alive ex-best friend than a seriously injured or possibly dead best friend. Why does he want to go when he doesn’t hike in the first place and is limited in what he can do?

urzu_seven − NTA So he invited himself on YOUR trip, which involves primarily things he is physically incapable of doing, and his GF had the gall to suggest you change your plans to accommodate him? Yeah, sorry he's not a good friend. Go on your trip and enjoy it. K and has GF can enjoy being alone, which is what happens when you drive your friends away with unreasonable demands.

But do these Reddit rants hit the trail’s truth, or are they just kicking up dust?

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This Arizona hiking clash pits adventure against friendship, where safety trumped sentiment. The man’s solo trek plan was reasonable, but was his blunt refusal too harsh? Friendship thrives on understanding, yet risks demand clarity. What would you do when a friend pushes into a dangerous plan? Share your thoughts—have you faced a tough call to protect a friend from harm?

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