AITA for not wanting my husband to be in the birthing tub with me while in labor?

Imagine a serene hospital room, the air thick with anticipation as a soon-to-be mom prepares to bring her second child into the world. Amid the excitement, her husband’s obsession with soaking in the birthing tub steals the spotlight, turning a sacred moment into a bizarre tug-of-war. This Reddit tale, equal parts absurd and relatable, pits a laboring mother’s need for space against her husband’s bath-time fantasies. Is she wrong to draw a hard line in the water?

The Reddit community didn’t hold back, delivering a mix of shock, humor, and support that paints a vivid picture of this couple’s clash. As we dive into this quirky conflict, we’ll explore the balance between personal comfort and partner expectations, with a splash of expert insight to clear the waters. Let’s get to it!

‘AITA for not wanting my husband to be in the birthing tub with me while in labor?’

Small summary.. my husband has a bit of a bath obsession, he'll come home from work and disappear into the tub for anywhere fron 30 minutes to 1 or 2 hours, I've repeatedly told him this doesn't work out well since we'll have a 1 year old as of next month (whom I stay at home with all day) and a newborn any day now.

We toured the hospital I was to deliver in this past week to make sure it was the right fit, I asked him at the end of the tour what he thought of the tour and the only thing he thought of to say was that the tubs were nice.. he couldn't wait to get into them.

When I informed him the tub was for me to labor in and not for him to bath in he was upset. I can't seem to get the idea out of his head that he can't take a bath in the tubs and they're not for the father

He also refuses to believe that they won't let him in the tub as well when I'm delivering (there's various health reasons why plus I wouldn't like him all over me anyway). Am I in the wrong for being so against it?. He's acting like I'm being unreasonable on this one but even my family seem to agree with me.

Labor is a marathon, and the birthing tub is a sanctuary for many moms, offering pain relief and calm. The original poster (OP) faces a unique challenge: her husband’s fixation on joining her in the tub, oblivious to its purpose and her discomfort. His insistence, despite health protocols and her clear boundaries, feels like a soak in selfishness. Meanwhile, OP, juggling a toddler and pregnancy, craves support, not a bath buddy.

This situation highlights a broader issue: respecting a partner’s autonomy during childbirth. A 2022 study in Midwifery found that 78% of women value control over their birthing environment for a positive experience (Source: ScienceDirect). As midwife Ina May Gaskin notes, “The energy in the birth room should honor the mother’s needs, not compete with them” (Source: Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth). The husband’s bath obsession disrupts this, ignoring OP’s physical and emotional space.

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OP’s stance is valid—birthing tubs are for laboring mothers, not spa sessions. Hospitals often restrict partners from entering due to hygiene and safety, like preventing contamination from bodily fluids. OP could calmly explain this, emphasizing her need for focus. Couples counseling might help align expectations, ensuring he supports her as a partner, not a tub-sharer.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

The Reddit gang brought their A-game, serving up a cocktail of disbelief and witty shade—think of it as a virtual baby shower gone rogue. Here’s what they had to say:

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takatori − Info: what is a “birthing tub” and where are they used?

impvespec − My wife birthed in a bath tub at a birthing centre.. The closest I got was chilling on the sides, rubbing her back and scooping out the occasional b**t nugget.. He belongs on the sidelines as a supporting companion not a bath partner. Besides there are sooooooooo many random floaties in there that keep popping out of the lady. 0 chance I'd be in that bath ever lol.

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RoachGirl − NTA. The f**k?

[Reddit User] − What the f**k? NTA

MaBanBan − NTA. You are the one pushing this baby out.

yojason1974 − NTA.. Is your husband a grownup?

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babayagababayaga − NTA I’m pregnant and want a water birth. My parter, who I do like having baths with, said he’d want to be in the pool. I said I wasn’t totally comfortable with that, but we’ll see at or closer to the time and that was the end of it. That’s how your conversation should have gone!. Good luck getting him to get outta the tub and more involved with supporting you.

On_Earth − NTA. Most children could grasp that better than your husband, he's being unreasonable.

pinksnugglemuffin − 100% NTA

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Eels_R_Feels − Wtf wouldn't it be.... messy?

These zesty Reddit takes beg the question: Is the husband’s tub dream just a quirky misunderstanding, or a sign of deeper disconnect?

This birthing tub battle is a reminder that childbirth is about the mother’s comfort, not a partner’s whims. OP’s firm stance protects her space, but her husband’s cluelessness suggests a need for better communication. A heart-to-heart could steer him toward being the supportive sidekick she needs. Have you ever faced an odd partner request at a pivotal moment? How did you handle it? Drop your stories below and let’s keep the convo flowing!

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