AITA for not wanting my half-sister at my wedding?

As a bride plans her dream wedding, old wounds from her father’s affair resurface, leading her to bar her half-sister—born from that betrayal—from the guest list. Though she’s grudgingly allowing her father to attend, she views his daughter as a stranger, not family, and wants no part of her at the celebration.

Her sister and mother argue the teen is blameless, urging inclusion, but the bride stands firm. This Reddit story, raw with unresolved pain, echoes your own struggles with family boundaries, like cutting contact with your brother’s fiancée or excluding your dad’s partner from your wedding dinner. Is she wrong to keep her half-sister out, or is her wedding her call?

‘AITA for not wanting my half-sister at my wedding?’

I have two siblings in my family, one full sister and one half-brother my mom had after she remarried after a divorce. My parents got divorced when my father and the neighbor lady started having an affair. Once she got pregnant and they realized it wasn't her husband's they also got divorced as did my parents.

My father married her and they moved to a different part of the city. I was furious at him, possibly more than my mother and I swore I'd never have anything to do with him or see him when I became an adult. I never saw his daughter as my sister and flat out told him I'd never babysit her or go to any events of hers.

She's not part of the family. I'm getting married now. I've agreed to let my father attend although he's not walking me down the aisle (my groom and I will walk in together.) But I've said I won't invite his current wife or daughter and don't want them to come.

They're not part of my family and have no business coming. My sister who is a bridesmaid recently told me she thinks this is unfair and while banning his wife is understandable our half-sister didn't do anything wrong besides being born in an unfortunate way.

She developed more of a relationship with her and said she's a wonderful teenage girl now who wants to attend.I asked my mom about it and she said as angry as she still is at my father she tries not to hold that against his daughter and not inviting her would be that. I see her as a stranger and not part of the family.. So am I an a**hole?

Weddings often unearth family fractures, and this Reddit user’s choice to exclude her half-sister reflects deep-seated resentment from her father’s affair. Her decision to invite her father but not his daughter or wife shows a selective reconciliation, complicated by viewing the half-sister as a stranger, much like your own boundaries with estranged family members. The sister and mother’s plea for inclusion highlights the half-sister’s innocence, creating a moral tug-of-war.

Dr. Pauline Boss, a family estrangement expert, notes, “Children of affairs often bear unfair blame, but adults aren’t obligated to embrace them as family” . The bride’s stance is her prerogative, but her family’s perspective suggests a chance for healing if she’s open to it.

She could explore meeting her half-sister separately, as you’ve navigated tense family ties, to assess her feelings without wedding pressure. A clear explanation to her family—focusing on her comfort—might ease tensions.

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These are the responses from Reddit users:

Reddit split on this one, with some backing the bride’s right to choose her guests and others calling her out for punishing an innocent teen, offering empathy and blunt advice. Here’s their take:

VoteBitch - NAH, I understand their feelings but at the end of the day, it’s your wedding.. ETA: I mean that it’s your wedding, so YOU get to decide who comes, not them!

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[Reddit User] - I mean, NAH/YTA?. NAH. its your wedding and are allowed to invite whoever you want.. YTA. You are punishing your teenage half sister for simply existing. That's pretty s**tty.

BazTheBaptist - NTA your sister is right, it's not her fault. It's your dad's and you're still inviting him. But it sounds like you don't really know her so why would you have her there

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[Reddit User] - NTA, it’s your wedding and you say your half sister is a stranger. It doesn’t matter whose fault it is, you are free to have whoever you want in your life. Your half sister isn’t at fault in any way, but you also don’t owe her a relationship. People can be upset about it but it’s your decision

Barko-Barko - NTA You are basically strangers.From what i understood you were kinda forced to invite to your wedding.Honestly the wedding is the day about you and your fiancé,not for your father.Is the girl here at fault?Hell f**king no she just had the bad luck to have two raging assholes for parents.Also both of you will feel uncomfortable if she attends.So not inviting is for the best of both of you.

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not_just_amwac - INFO: Why are you inviting your father at all? He might be blood, but blood doesn't automatically mean family.

MandeeLess - NTA. Regardless of the reasons why, you don’t have a relationship with this girl, and your wedding isn’t the place to start IMO. If you do decide to get to know her, it should be in a calm setting. You want to have as few stressors as possible at your wedding, and having your half sister there won’t help.

littlesundancer - YTA, definitely. who you invite to your wedding is your business, you’re not TA for that. you *are* TA for cutting off your half-sister along with your s**tty dad and his affair partner. **your half-sister did not cause your parents’ divorce,

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no matter how much you’ve convinced yourself she did.** your father cheated with the neighbor. that’s on them. if even your mother understands it’s not fair to blame your half-sister for their mistake, there’s no reason you can’t.

jills_atm_vestibule - NTA Why would she even want to go if she doesn’t know you? That’s weird AF. It’s your wedding and you get to pick who goes.

FosteringPets - NAH. I was actually in a similar situation for my wedding. My dad had an affair with my mom’s friend, and they got divorced. The friend got pregnant, divorced her husband and had a kid with my dad. They had a girl, who for a very long time, was weird for my brother, sister and I to be around when she grew up.

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But we felt bad taking it out on her because it wasn’t her fault, and she wanted to be around us really badly for some reason. It’s your day. You shouldn’t feel uncomfortable in the slightest. However, try and remember that’s it’s also not her fault.

Reddit’s divided, but are they grasping the bride’s pain or just debating fairness?

This bride’s decision to bar her half-sister from her wedding has stirred family conflict, pitting her pain against a teen’s innocence. Her story, like your own family boundary battles, asks where personal choice meets family duty. Is she right to exclude her half-sister, or should she reconsider? How would you handle a family member tied to past betrayal? Share your thoughts or stories of navigating family at big events!

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