AITA for not wanting anything to do with my half sister?

The air was heavy with unspoken words when a 17-year-old, let’s call her Jane, faced a call from her father, urging her to meet her half-sister, Juliette. Three years ago, Jane’s world cracked open when her parents’ marriage shattered under the weight of her father’s affair, leaving her to navigate a tangle of betrayal and resentment. Now, with a curious toddler asking about her, Jane’s heart wrestles with pain and principle, unsure if she can see past the scars of her family’s past.

Jane’s story unfolds like a quiet storm, pulling readers into the raw emotions of a teen caught in the aftermath of infidelity. Her refusal to embrace Juliette, the child born from her father’s affair, sparks a debate about loyalty, forgiveness, and personal boundaries. It’s a tale that invites us to ponder: where do we draw the line when family ties feel like chains?

‘AITA for not wanting anything to do with my half sister?’

I(17F), have divorced parents. My mom divorced my dad because he apparently had been cheating for 2 years and he finally f**ked up by getting the other women pregnant. When I found out why they divorced I gained resentment towards my dad and the other women.

(For some context she did know that my dad was married when he cheated) Since they divorced when I was 14 I got to decide who I wanted to stay with, of course I chose my mom. My dad and the other women got married 3 months after the divorce and I guess as an attempt to bond with me they invited me and offered me to be a bridesmaid.

I didn’t go because cause I wanted nothing to do with my dad or her. After the wedding day my dad called giving me an ear full saying that I upset my stepmom. He went on to tell me about how I should be more grateful and nice towards her since she’s carrying my future sibling.

I told him that I don’t care if she’s upset because I don’t know her and I don’t want to be nice to a woman who’s carrying the product of an affair. For some reason this must have ticked my dad off more because he went to court to fight for 50/50 custody because he believed that my mom was filling “bad ideas” into my head.

Unfortunately he won and I had to spend weekends with them. During these weekends I never talked to him or my stepmom, I just locked myself in my room. My stepmom would constantly attempt to do stuff with like, ask me to go baby shopping with her, ask me to go to doctors appointments with her and my dad, and even ask to go for a girls day with me.

Whenever she did this I never responded, I just talked past her. After having spilt custody for 2 months my father gave up because my stepmom came to him crying about how she “can’t believe that I hate her this much”, and he gave me the option to stay with my mom or be nice and do stuff with my stepmom because all the stress I was putting on her could cause her to miscarriage.

I went back to live with my mom but time to time, once or twice a month I would go with my stepmom and dad. A few months later my stepmom gave birth to my new “sister” and named her Juliette, she named her this because she thought it would be cute for both of us to have names that start with a J. I went extremely low contact with my dad,

and my stepmom until this year when my dad called me out of the blue saying that he thinks that I should finally meet Juliette. I asked him why and he explained that Juliette has seen photos of me when I was young in their house and has been asking who I am because of how similar I looked to my dad(Me and my dad are basically clones of each other, red hair, hazel eyes, h**low face etc).

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My dad didn’t lie to her and told her that I was her sister and now he wants me to meet her because she won’t stop asking about me. I told him no because I can only see Juliette as an affair baby and not my “little sister”. He called me heartless and selfish then hung up.. So AITA??

Jane’s standoff with her father and stepmother is a gut-punch reminder of how infidelity ripples through families. Caught in a tug-of-war between her pain and her father’s push for reconciliation, Jane’s resistance is both raw and relatable. Her father’s affair didn’t just end a marriage; it reshaped her trust, leaving her to guard her heart fiercely.

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This situation reflects a broader issue: children of divorce often bear the emotional brunt of parental choices. According to a 2023 study from the Journal of Family Psychology, over 40% of teens from divorced families report strained relationships with a parent due to infidelity. Jane’s resentment toward her stepmother, who knowingly entered an affair, fuels her refusal to bond with Juliette, a stance that’s less about the child and more about protecting her own peace.

Dr. Lisa Damour, a clinical psychologist quoted in a New York Times article, notes, “Teens need space to process parental betrayal without pressure to mend family ties prematurely.” Jane’s low-contact choice aligns with this, prioritizing her healing over her father’s desire for a blended family. Her father’s guilt-tripping, framing Jane’s boundaries as harmful to her stepmother’s pregnancy, borders on emotional manipulation, further justifying her retreat.

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For Jane, healing might involve therapy to unpack her anger, as suggested by Reddit users. Setting firm boundaries, like limiting contact, can help her reclaim control. While Juliette’s curiosity is innocent, Jane isn’t obligated to play sister until she’s ready—or ever. Encouraging open dialogue with her father, perhaps through a mediator, could clarify her stance without compromising her peace.

Check out how the community responded:

The Reddit crew didn’t hold back, dishing out a spicy mix of support and shade for Jane’s saga. It’s like a virtual campfire where everyone’s roasting marshmallows and opinions. Here’s what the community had to say:

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serenasplaycousin − NTA. Your dad went to court to *force* you to have a relationship with his mistress. The 50/50 wasn’t an attempt to repair his relationship with *you*, but to create a relationship with the person that broke up your family.

Saysaywhat91 − NTA. Its not your responsibility to have a relationship with someone, even a younger half sibling, just to make others happy. It sucks for her but I'm guessing when she gets older she'll find out why. She's innocent in this but so were you when your dad decided to dip his d**k elsewhere.. Life ain't all sunshine and daisies and your dad can't have everyone playing happy families after his actions.

OkBoss3435 − NTA. I agree that Juliette is innocent in all this. But actually so are you.. Just because Juliette is asking questions and wants to meet you doesn’t make you obligated to meet her.. I’m not sure why Juliette’s feelings would override yours. You have a choice.

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And you can go peacefully throughout your life without meeting Juliette. If that’s what you choose. As long as you are able to go peacefully. Regardless of whether you decide to meet Juliette, some counselling might help you work through your anger and hurt - which are valid feelings but not great if they consume.

[Reddit User] − NTA. Your parents divorced because your father had an affair and his affair partner became pregnant. Your father and his now-wife don’t acknowledge the ridiculousness of demanding that you feign approval of their relationship.. Your father’s refusal to accept responsibility for having damaged your relationship is…astounding.

blockparted − When Juliette is older she can make the decision to contact you and not be used by her parents to bridge the gap as assuage their guilt. In the meantime you need to heal from their betrayal. THEIR betrayal. Of both you and your mom. You are NTA for wanting nothing to do with either of them.

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[Reddit User] − NTA. You don't have to live with other people's mistakes. You didn't ask for your entire life to be imploded by a selfish man who chose to throw his family away for the thrill of an illicit affair, nor did you ask for him to marry his affair partner or have a baby with her. That's all on him. You have the right to go low or no contact just for that betrayal alone.

The people saying he betrayed your mother and not you are forgetting, his selfish decisions robbed you of an intact family and cause untold misery for you personally. He doesn't deserve a free pass for that. The child he made with his affair partner might be innocent but why are her feelings so much more important than yours?

Her feelings are not your responsibility. He created the affair baby, so it's on him to deal with the mess he made all by himself. He's got some nerve to call a 17-year-old heartless and selfish. If anyone is selfish and heartless, it's the man who betrayed his marital vow and ended up estranged from his young daughter.

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sugarpenchant − NTA. None of this is Juliette’s fault and sure, she might grow up missing a “big sister”, but who’s telling her about this big sister? Who is telling her what she’s missing? Your father. He’s the one controlling the information Juliette has. Sounds like your father is trying to use Juliette as a bargaining chip to get you to resume contact with him and your stepmother.

You don’t owe any of them anything. That said, you do owe yourself a chance to make peace with this mess for your own sake. A messy painful divorce and then immediate remarrying is difficult as hell and I hope you’ve got some support or therapy to give you the best chance to get through it

3rdeyeopenwide − NTA. You have no obligation to entertain the desires of your father’s daughter.. I always wanted to know my maternal grandfather but since he and my mother had no relationship, I didn’t.

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It’s not your problem frankly. Your dad had his cake and now he wants to eat it too by having his daughters and current wife all get along quietly.. Sorry pops, you invite more women into your life you invite their emotions, issues, and noise too.

W3stC0AsT1995 − NTA if he calls you 'Heartless' Just snap back with 'OH you mean like how stepmom is heartless as well cuz she KNOWINGLY SPREAD HER LEGS FOR A MARRIED MAN! GREAT THAN I GUESS WE HAVE ONE THING IN COMMON!

I hope you enjoy your life because once I'm 18 I never want to see you again, that means you aren't coming to my graduation, wedding, and you'll never meet any kids I have your dead to me, as long as your married to her. The only way I'd even consider even talking to you again is if you divorce her or cheat on her to show her how it feels because a leopard can't change their spots,

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and imagine howd you feel if either if Juliette got cheated on are you going going want a relationship with the man who broke her heart? Because she is nothing but a heartless whore who ruined my life and I'll never forgive her or you, how you hurt your oldest child like this why did you cheat?'

Bionic_Ninjas − NTA. It's your choice as to whether you have contact with your dad, and trying to leverage his child to guilt you into being around more is just a really slimy thing to do on his part.

These Redditors rallied behind Jane, cheering her right to draw a hard line while tossing some witty jabs at her father’s nerve. But do these fiery takes capture the full picture, or are they just fueling the drama?

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Jane’s journey through her family’s fallout is a stark reminder that healing isn’t a straight line. Her choice to keep Juliette at arm’s length isn’t about cruelty but survival, a teen shielding herself from a wound still fresh. As she navigates this, her story invites us to reflect on the messy, human side of family ties. What would you do if you found yourself in a similar situation? Share your thoughts and experiences below—let’s keep the conversation going.

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