AITA for not telling the guy who thought I was trespassing on the homeowners association playground where I live and only telling the police that after he called them?

As dusk paints a quiet neighborhood park in soft hues, a teenage girl sways on a swing, lost in her book. The calm shatters when a stranger approaches, accusing her of trespassing in a locals-only space. New to the subdivision and shaped by frequent moves, she feels unease as he demands her address, his tone sharp with suspicion.

Guided by her mom’s safety advice, she stands firm, refusing to share personal details. The confrontation escalates, testing her instincts in a community where she’s still a stranger. What unfolds is a clash over trust and boundaries, turning a simple evening read into a battle for safety and belonging.

‘AITA for not telling the guy who thought I was trespassing on the homeowners association playground where I live and only telling the police that after he called them?’

My mom and I rent the mother-in-law suite of a house, we've only been here about 6 months, and I haven't met many of the neighbors because of covid. Plus we move around a lot so it is hard to make new friends every new place. I spend more time inside video calling my friends.

Last week it was evening and I went to sit outside and read a book, there is a small park and playground shared by the neighborhood and it was empty that evening. I sat on the swings and read for a while and then some guy came out of the nearby house and said that I couldn't be there, this was just a park for the neighborhood.

I said yes I know, but I could be there because I live there. He said no I don't, he knows everyone, everyone knows each other here. I was getting kind of annoyed and told him obviously they don't because he doesn't know me. He asked to see my ID so he could see my address and while I do have a learner's permit for driving I felt sketched out showing someone who was mad at me where I live.

So I said that I was not an adult, it was sketchy he was demanding the address of a girl out alone at night, and I wanted him to leave. I also texted my mom to say that I was in the park and some guy was upset I was and wanted my home address and I didn't feel ok saying it, so what should I do?

Before my mom saw the text though, the guy stood there and called the police about a teenager trespassing in the park. I tried to walk off but he started to follow me and I felt uneasy walking to my house because my mom had always said to not lead someone to your house if they're giving you trouble, try to go somewhere public and get the police.. So I thought maybe it's better to just stay and talk to the police.

They showed up, and talked to the guy for a bit, then to me, and asked me where I lived. I showed them my learner's permit and said I lived in the sub division that the park was in. They were kinda frustrated at the wasted time, I felt like, and were asking me why I couldn't have told the guy what I told them.

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I said I did, everything up to my exact address because he was making me nervous. They were like 'okay' but also kinda talked down to me to tell me that 'this isn't that kind of place' and seemed to think I was just too cautious and didn't need to be. And that the guy was a guy who was like a leader in the community and who could be trusted.

They seemed kind of irritated I still didn't want to chat with him and tell him my side of things; I still asked them to say that it's ok for me to be here but don't say my address. AITA for not telling this guy who thought I was trespassing my address to prove I wasn't?

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This park standoff highlights the tension between community vigilance and personal safety for a teenage girl in a new neighborhood. Her refusal to share her address with a confrontational stranger was a sharp instinct for self-protection. Dr. Sherry Hamby, a psychologist specializing in interpersonal violence, says, “Young women are often socialized to be cautious, and for good reason—stranger interactions can carry risks, even in safe settings.” Her words affirm the teen’s caution as a rational response to an aggressive demand.

The man, likely a self-appointed community guardian, assumed he knew all residents, a common mindset in tight-knit areas. Yet his approach clashed with the girl’s need for security, reflecting a broader issue: teens often face scrutiny in public spaces, with studies noting 65% of young women report harassment in similar settings. The police’s dismissal of her caution as excessive ignored these realities, complicating the situation.

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Dr. Hamby’s insight underscores the value of trusting one’s gut, especially for young women in unfamiliar places. The teen’s decision to wait for police was smart, keeping the situation controlled. For others, asserting your right to be present without sharing personal details can de-escalate safely. Documenting incidents via notes or texts helps for future reference.

This story reveals a challenge: balancing community oversight with inclusivity. Neighborhoods thrive on trust, but newcomers can feel alienated when vigilance turns confrontational. Community meet-and-greets could foster familiarity without compromising safety. How can neighborhoods ensure everyone feels secure?

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Reddit users jumped in with a mix of fiery support and sharp wit, slicing through the drama with candid takes. Here’s what they had to say:

HowardProject − NTA and you should talk to your parents about contacting your local police station about the way those officers handled this. It's pretty clear that they were deferring to someone they were afraid could get them in trouble and in doing so they chose to give incredibly bad advice to a teenage girl.. What those officers told you is absolutely not okay and the fact that they're cops makes it worse.

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[Reddit User] − NTA those cops are morons. The guy could’ve been many things. Being a community leader doesn’t prove s**t for trustworthiness.

Oliviarose85 − NTA. The BTK k**ler was married with two children and the president of a church counsel, and was married with two children. I’m not saying to assume the worst of someone, but always be cautious with people you don’t know. You did the exact right thing. The cops may have felt like this was all a waste of time, but tough s**t.

420FLgirl − NTA you don’t have to prove to anyone but the police that you live there. It is really weird that he was harassing and following a teenage girl and it pisses me off that the cops didn’t tell him that.

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letmeslap − NTA. You're an underaged girl, and having an adult man yelling at you and demanding your adress for what he calls trespassing, when you're just chilling at a place you're allowed to be, is grounds to call the police for YOUR safety.

(Not that police actually help with that usually, but in an ideal world it would be the case.) The police in this scenario are also in the wrong, as they should understand your hesitation in this situation, rather than be irritated at you for it.. (Sorry if my grammar is weird, english is my second language)

Practical_Heart7287 − NTA. I’d have your mom contact the HOA about this too. And maybe reach out to the police community liaison and tell them what happened. Men don’t understand what women go through and what they are forced to do to protect themselves.. You did a great job!

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CleverIsMiddleName − NTA. You did exactly the right thing. You should absolutely not give out your address to random people, and those cops were incredibly wrong to tell you otherwise. Girls should not be taught that they should give in to pressure when they feel uncomfortable.

It was also smart of you to text your mom and let her know what was happening, and then wait for the police. If the police want to be mad at someone for wasting their time, then they should be talking to the guy who called them about a girl reading a book in a park.

aimlessecho − Absolutely NTA. Imagine calling the cops because someone is reading a book in a public space. Ridiculous.

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Sensitive_Ad_1063 − So let me get this straight - a strange adult accuses you of not being allowed to be in a public park. The man wants to know where you live. You get scared, so you try to walk away. He follows you and calls the police.

You feel comfortable giving your ID to the police because THEYRE THE POLICE and then the police get mad at YOU for wasting their time?. Nope, you did exactly what you should’ve done. A+ behavior

judge1492 − NTA. Your parents should contact the police.. GROWN MEN DO NOT GET TO ASK TEENAGE GIRLS FOR THEIR ADDRESS. You responded appropriately. You did NOTHING wrong. Maybe the officers know this man personally but you don’t. He was a grown ass man harassing a teenage girl. Unacceptable that anyone would tell you to tolerate this.

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These Reddit opinions are bold, but do they fully capture the nuances of safety and community trust?

This teenager’s park standoff reveals the delicate dance of safety, trust, and belonging in a new community. Her quick thinking kept her secure, but the clash with a neighborhood watchdog and the police’s dismissive tone raises questions about how we welcome newcomers. How do communities balance vigilance with openness? If a stranger demanded your personal details in a public space, what would you do? Share your experiences and ideas—let’s discuss how to build neighborhoods where safety and inclusion coexist.

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