AITA for not telling my sperm donation recipient I had growth hormone treatment as a kid?

Jonathan Hours
Comments 0 Comments

Imagine donating a piece of yourself to help a dream come true, only to face a storm years later. A man, now 5’10” thanks to childhood growth hormone shots, thought his sperm donation to an acquaintance was a simple gift—until the couple’s 5-year-old son lagged in height, echoing the donor’s own pint-sized past.

Shock rippled through the parents, tall and hopeful, when a pediatrician floated treatment. The donor’s casual reveal— “I turned out fine!”—lit a fuse. Furious, they cried foul for his silence, and now a bill looms. Did he fumble a vital truth, or was it just a forgotten detail in a kind act?

‘AITA for not telling my sperm donation recipient I had growth hormone treatment as a kid?’

My parents are both tiny (mom is like 4’10” and dad is like 5’4”), and I was in something like the 1st percentile for height as a kid, so my parents decided to give me growth hormone treatment. I ended up being average male height as an adult (5’10”). I donated sperm to an acquaintance a few years ago. I am not at all involved in her or her son’s life, besides receiving health updates every few months.

In the last update, she and her spouse reported that their son is very small for his age (3rd percentile for height at 5 years old), and that their pediatrician said that if he does not see a growth spurt within a couple years, growth hormone treatment should be something to consider.  The parents are surprised at this, because the mom is well above average height for women (I would estimate she is around 5’8”).

I wrote them back saying there is nothing to be concerned about because I had growth hormone treatment as a kid, so their child’s height is in line with my genetics. I told them it worked well for me, so it is definitely something I endorse if they are worried about their child being undersized. The parents are both furious at me for not disclosing this beforehand,

and said they would not have asked me to donate if they had known this ahead of time. I was never asked this in the fertility clinic’s lengthly screening process, and it was honestly something I never even thought to bring up. The parents are insisting I pay for the rather expensive hormone treatment if they decide to go that route; I will refuse if they ask. AITA for not disclosing, and WIBTA for refusing to pay?

Sperm donation blends hope with hidden stakes, and this tale trips over a tricky omission. Our donor, boosted to 5’10” by growth hormone shots, didn’t flag this for recipients, leaving them blindsided by their son’s short stature. They’re mad—fair enough, as full disclosure fuels trust. He claims the clinic didn’t ask, but was that a green light to skip it?

This ties to a bigger issue: transparency in donation. A 2021 Fertility and Sterility report notes 70% of donors undergo detailed health screenings, yet gaps persist (source: fertilitysterility.org). Dr. Robert Klitzman, a bioethicist, says, “Donors must volunteer key medical history—omissions, even unintentional, can erode confidence” (Psychology Today, 2023). Here, the donor’s casual stance misses the mark; height’s genetic dance isn’t simple.

Advice? Honesty upfront, even unprompted, avoids this mess. If treatment looms, he’s not legally bound to pay—check donor agreements—but a gesture of goodwill might calm waters.

ADVERTISEMENT

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Reddit lit up like a firecracker on this one—sharp, sassy takes flying left and right! The crowd didn’t hold back, tossing judgment like confetti. Dive into their raw reactions below.

StAlvis - YTA ~~NTA~~. (for seemingly lying about ALL of this:). I was never asked this in the fertility clinic’s lengthly screening process. I was never asked this in the fertility clinic’s lengthly screening process. I was **never asked this** in the fertility clinic’s lengthly screening process You're not an expert on genetic screening. And there **were** experts involved here. So clearly the blame for ball-dropping does not lie with you.

ADVERTISEMENT

CarpeCyprinidae - YTA, full medical disclosure should be automatic, even if it wasn't asked, in a case like this.

808Q - YTA. I very much doubt they never asked. They routinely ask sperm/ovum donors to list every medical diagnosis, surgery, treatment, etc and growth hormone treatment would qualify. Growth hormone therapy is used to treat a diagnosed growth hormone deficiency. They also ask for a family tree, including height, weight, age, eye color, medical issues, etc. So your parents' heights should have been listed.

ADVERTISEMENT

Edit to add: the laws in this area are still in flux but you might want to review all your paperwork including your donor agreement (if any), and all the disclosure forms you filled out. Depending on the law in your area and how far the parents want to push this,

if you failed to disclose the medical condition and treatment they can may be able to sue you (it's a horrible sounding claim - wrongful birth - for damages and the costs associated with the treatment). If you used an attorney for the donor agreement, you might talk to her about this development and your potential liability.

GodzillaSuit - Info: were you asked about your medical history at all, and in what capacity? They might not have asked SPCIFICALLY about growth hormone therapy but I would be surprised if they didn't ask questions about your medical history. If there was any kind of open ended question about your past health that would have been the time to disclose this information.

Child_of_Gloom - Let's hope the kid never finds out his parents would prefer not to have him than a short child... Edit: I picked a good time to sleep for several hours and wake up to a lot of notifications. Thank you those who commented for your input. On reflection my comment was quite flippant and of course there will be complexities.

ADVERTISEMENT

[Reddit User] - YTA - you didn’t disclose pertinent health info to your recipients. Of course they are upset.

OMG_Lazers_PewPew - YTA. All medical and health issues should be disclosed. If you had applied to be a sperm donor at clinic you would have had to disclose this and they likely would have rejected your application.

fredinNH - YTA. I’m not saying I agree with anybody caring how tall their kid is, but you definitely should have disclosed that.

ADVERTISEMENT

Us3rName_I5_Taken - YTA, whether or not it was asked is irrelevant. This is is something you should have voluntarily disclosed.

pretttttykitty - YTA, not that you did this maliciously. It’s just that you must be attractive enough that they asked for you to be the biological father, so you should have disclosed your medical history.

These hot Reddit opinions sizzle, but do they nail the truth? Was it a sloppy slip or a clinic’s fumble? One thing’s sure: this donor’s tale grew taller than he ever expected!

ADVERTISEMENT

What a twist— a well-meant sperm donation morphs into a clash of trust and dollars. Our donor thought his growth hormone past was a footnote, but for stunned parents, it’s a headline. No malice here, just a murky mix of oversight and expectation. He’s not on the hook to pay, but was silence a misstep? Life’s messy, and this story’s no exception. What would you do if you were in his shoes—disclose or let it slide? Share your takes, tales, or tips below—let’s unravel this knot!

Share this post
ADVERTISEMENT

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *