AITA for not telling my son about my long term partner after he asked me to never talk about my romantic life?

Picture a sunny barbecue, burgers sizzling, until a tipsy brother-in-law drops a bombshell, revealing a father’s seven-year secret romance to his stunned son. For this dad, who came out as gay after his son left for college, keeping his partner Harry under wraps was a painful choice to preserve their fragile bond. When his son, who once begged him to skip the “gay stuff,” learns the truth, he storms off, feeling lied to. Was the dad wrong, or just honoring a tough request?

This Reddit tale unpacks a heart-wrenching dance of love, loss, and unspoken truths. With the son’s early rejection of his dad’s identity shaping years of silence, a family slip-up ignites old wounds. Reddit’s serving up raw reactions, so let’s dive into this bittersweet saga with empathy and a touch of wit.

‘AITA for not telling my son about my long term partner after he asked me to never talk about my romantic life?’

Hiding a seven-year partnership to keep a son’s love is a heavy burden, and this dad’s choice reflects fear of rejection. His son’s initial anger at his coming out, followed by a clear request to avoid romantic talk, set a boundary the dad followed—perhaps too rigidly. Family therapist Dr. Kenneth Hardy notes, “Unspoken assumptions in families can deepen rifts; open dialogue heals”. The son’s outburst suggests hurt over exclusion, not just the secret.

This mirrors challenges faced by families navigating coming out. A 2020 study in Journal of Family Issues found 40% of adult children struggle with a parent’s late coming out, often feeling their family narrative was “a lie”. The son’s reaction may stem from unresolved grief over his parents’ divorce.

Dr. Hardy’s approach emphasizes honest, gradual conversations. The dad could apologize for the secrecy while explaining his fear of losing their bond, inviting the son to meet Harry at his pace. Family counseling might bridge their gap. For now, a heartfelt letter could clarify intentions and open the door to dialogue.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

Reddit’s grilling up a feast of takes, from sympathy for the dad’s dilemma to shade at the son’s mixed signals. Here’s the unfiltered scoop, fresh from the family drama smoker:

These opinions are as smoky as the barbecue, but do they miss the tender heart of this father-son rift? Can they mend their bond, or is trust too charred?

This isn’t just about a hidden partner—it’s about a father’s desperate bid to keep his son close while living his truth. The son’s hurt is real, but so is the dad’s fear of rejection. Can they rebuild with honesty, or will old boundaries keep them apart? Have you ever held back part of yourself to protect a loved one? Share your stories—how do you balance truth and family ties when love’s on the line?