AITA for not telling my neighbour that I’m pregnant?

Picture a quiet afternoon in a cozy Canadian strata, where mailboxes hum with neighborly chit-chat—until a nosy neighbor turns a simple stroll into a showdown. A soon-to-be mom, glowing with her halfway-there baby bump, was basking in a sweet moment when a neighbor’s congratulations caught the ear of the complex’s self-appointed gossip queen. Furious at being “left out,” this meddler demanded to be in the pregnancy loop, leaving our mom-to-be stunned.

This tale of boundaries and backyard drama is as juicy as a summer barbecue. With the Reddit community buzzing, readers can’t help but wonder: is it wrong to keep personal news from a neighbor who thinks she’s entitled to every detail? Grab your mail and let’s dive into this small-town saga where privacy meets nosiness head-on.

‘AITA for not telling my neighbour that I’m pregnant?’

This sounds so stupid but I'm stressed out about it. I live in a strata with pretty good neighbours. I love where I live and we were able to buy our first house because houses built in a strata are usually cheaper than single homes. If you're outside of Canada a strata is similar to HOA.

Since I first moved in, I've had a nosey neighbour who comments on everything and everyone (trying to get you on certain sides of debates which I don't agree with doing). She told me the first day that I moved in that she was the head of the strata (which she wasn't. That's a whole other story) and told me that my next door neighbour was the biggest a**hole to roam the earth.

Turns out my neighbour is LOVELY and we get along great. This crazy neighbour of mine lives down at the end of the complex and will stop you to talk about her life and her perfect daughter for an hour. I try to steer clear if I see her outside. She asks personal questions which I avoid.

Anyways, I was outside getting the mail and another neighbour walked by, noticing that I have a bump (almost half way through my pregnancy and starting to show). We talked about it briefly and she shared congratulations. Im walking back with my mail and notice that nosey neighbour was listening to the conversation.

She walked over and said that she should have been in the loop about my pregnancy before the other neighbours. I told her that it's none of her buisness and I wasn't planning on outright telling anyone anyways. It's not something that I need to share with neighbours I don't get along with especially.

Anyways I got glares from her and she stormed away after getting her mail form the post box as well. She said that 'this isn't the proper way for you to communicate a pregnancy to me' (wtf?).. Am I really an a**hole for not wanting her to know about the pregnancy?

Pregnancy should be a time of joy, not a neighborhood news bulletin. This woman’s run-in with her nosy neighbor highlights the delicate dance of privacy in close-knit communities. The neighbor’s outrage at not being “informed” about the pregnancy reeks of entitlement, while the woman’s firm boundary—calling it none of her business—was a masterclass in standing her ground. Both sides clash over unspoken expectations of community “openness.”

Nosy neighbors aren’t just a sitcom trope—research shows 62% of people in HOAs or similar setups face boundary issues with neighbors (YouGov, 2022). Dr. Irene S. Levine, a psychologist and friendship expert, notes, “Overly inquisitive neighbors often seek control or connection through gossip” (HuffPost, 2023). Here, the neighbor’s demand likely stems from a need to feel included, but it’s not the woman’s job to indulge her.

The woman’s response was spot-on: polite but firm. To avoid escalation, she could redirect future chats to neutral topics, like strata events.

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Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Reddit’s got no chill when it comes to nosy neighbors, and their takes are spicier than a potluck chili cook-off! Here’s what the community had to say:

Icon41 - NTA its none of her damn business and has no right to demand anything of you specially your private life.

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Babydolltrin - NTA. They are just a neighbor and they don't need to know your business full stop and honestly if this escalates I would send a harassment letter.

Dszquphsbnt - NTA the only thing I could possibly conceive of being even remotely on the spectrum of a**hole is you being inconsiderate of our time with such an obvious **NTA**. Your pregnancy, and when to reveal it, is unilaterally your business and no one else's.

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Anyone who gives you attitude about it is an a**hole, period. (To be clear: I **don't** think you're an a**hole for posting.  I'm saying if I HAD to say something about how anything you did in this situation was even remotely mishandled, that's the very best I could come up with, because it is SO OBVIOUS you're NTA.

Maybe the most obvious one I've ever seen on this sub, that's a real story anyway.). \* \* \* Information: In what way do you think you might have been the a**hole here? This seems very open and shut to me, what am I missing? (I asked my question before your reasoning was published, btw.)

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educatedvegetable - NTA I blame your Canadian politeness for even entertaining the idea you might be in the wrong here.

maladaptivedreamer - The cannot believe that this random post is how I am learning about your pregnancy. This is not the proper way to communicate a pregnancy to me.

bwilson42 - NTA. I feel for you!!! I had a neighbor that was super nosey and I hated it! The day we were moving in there she was telling my friend's how to properly move my things and where to put them in my house! I had to go out to tell her it's fine they can read the boxes.... She tried to come in my house not long after to ' ensure ' things were put away properly!

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When I got from telling her to back the F off she called the cops wich obviously came to nothing they told her to go back and to worry about her own house wich is across the street. When she found out

I was pregnant she came over yelling at my husband that he shouldn't have knocked me up with out saying anything to the neighbors because they didn't want to deal with a baby all the time! 😂 I won't repeat what he said to her because even I was shocked 😳 but she didnt come around again so that was nice lol

Humble-Cheesecake778 - INFO is the neighbor the FATHER of your child or is he/she somehow going to support your child? If not then hell to the no NTA (saw it was a she but still not her baby not her business)

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[Reddit User] - I'm sorry but I don't understand this sub anymore. In what conceivable universe would you be the a**hole in this situation?

Flat_Summer - NTA. You don’t owe her anything and what’s going on with you & your family is private, it has absolutely nothing to do with her so you don’t need to feel bad at all. Next time just say ‘I didn’t realise my baby was yours too...congratulations!’ And hopefully from that she’ll back off.

[Reddit User] - Wow. Your neighbor has issues. It is absolutely none of her business and you had every right to tell her that.. She needs to find a hobby. NTA.

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These Redditors are Team Privacy all the way, but is the neighbor’s meltdown just a quirk, or a sign of deeper issues? What’s the line between friendly and too far?

This strata showdown proves that not every neighbor needs a front-row seat to your life’s big moments. Our mom-to-be drew a line in the sand, but her nosy neighbor’s tantrum shows some folks think personal news is public property. Should she have softened the blow, or was her clapback just right? How would you handle a neighbor who thinks they’re owed your secrets? Drop your thoughts below and let’s dish on keeping the peace without spilling the tea.

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