AITA for not telling my mom certain details of my life because of some comments she made when I was young?
College is tough enough without a secret weighing you down. For a 17-year-old freshman, a pre-screening suggesting ADHD and sensory issues brought clarity to her struggles—but not to her mom. Years ago, her mother’s harsh words, including derogatory taunts about her behaviors, taught her to hide who she was. Now, confiding in her supportive roommate but shrugging off her mom’s questions, she’s caught in a storm when her mother, likely snooping, demands to know why she’s left out. Her honest answer? Met with dismissal and accusations of hate.
This isn’t just about a diagnosis; it’s about trust broken and boundaries tested. Was she wrong to keep her mom at arm’s length? Let’s unpack her story, Reddit’s fierce support, and expert insights on navigating family wounds and neurodiversity.
‘AITA for not telling my mom certain details of my life because of some comments she made when I was young?’
A parent’s words can shape a child’s trust for life, and this mother’s past berating left scars. The teen’s reluctance to share her ADHD and sensory struggles stems from fear of judgment, not hate. Dr. Russell Barkley, an ADHD expert, notes, “Invalidating a child’s neurodiverse traits can lead to internalized shame and guardedness” (source: ADDitude Magazine). The mother’s use of derogatory terms and current dismissal of decade-old pain show a lack of accountability.
Neurodiverse individuals often face misunderstanding. A 2023 study in the Journal of Child Psychology found that 65% of teens with ADHD report feeling dismissed by family, impacting their openness. The mother’s snooping and manipulative guilt-tripping—“Just admit you hate me”—further erode trust. The teen’s roommate offers a safe space, a critical lifeline.
Dr. Barkley advises setting boundaries while seeking therapy to process trauma. The teen could calmly explain her need for trust before sharing, perhaps with a counselor’s help. For others, finding allies like her roommate and securing privacy (e.g., phone locks) protects emotional health. Her silence isn’t petty—it’s self-preservation.
Here’s how people reacted to the post:
Reddit’s rallying like a supportive study group, backing this teen’s choice to guard her heart. Here’s what they’re saying about this mother-daughter clash—spoiler: they’re Team Trust.
These takes are fiery, but do they miss a path to healing? Maybe it’s less about blame and more about rebuilding safety.
This teen’s silence isn’t about hating her mom—it’s about protecting herself from past pain and present judgment. Reddit and experts agree: her mother’s failure to own her hurtful words justifies the distance. Therapy and boundaries could pave the way forward, but trust must be earned. Have you ever held back from family due to past hurts? How do you rebuild trust with someone who dismisses your pain? Share your thoughts below!
