AITA for not telling my mom about my savings?

Venus Hours
Comments 0 Comments

Step into a bustling household where a 16-year-old girl juggles family duties and a secret stash. This Reddit tale unfolds as she hides a $2,000 emergency fund, gifted by her dad, from her single mom of six, only to face a fiery clash when it’s uncovered. Her refusal to hand it over for non-urgent needs sparks accusations of betrayal. Was she wrong to guard her savings? Reddit and experts dive into this storm of family and finance.

Her mother’s demands collide with her foresight, echoing your own struggles with setting boundaries in a crowded family home. This story of loyalty and limits pulls us into a debate about responsibility and trust. Let’s unpack the details, community reactions, and expert insights.

‘AITA for not telling my mom about my savings?’

My (16F) mom is a single mom of 6, including me, they go from 2 to 14, the three oldest (12, 14 and me) try to help her as much as we can since she has two jobs, my dad and I get along just fine, he and my grannies give me an amount of money per month ($300) since I turned 13, I usually took $100 for my things,

I give her $100 for bills and I return $100 to my dad to have an ''emergency'' fund since one of my brothers and I have asthma and I want to make sure that I have money all the time, my mom doesn't know about my ''emergency fund'' and thinks that I only get $200 a month.

She respects ''my income'' most of the time but with 6 kids and a big house she smooches all of hers pretty quickly, so when my siblings wants something like pizza, clothes or some ''fun money'' or things she asks to ''share'', I do it cause I love my siblings but sometimes I think it's unfair since I already give her $100.

Two days ago one of my brothers (9) broke his a**le while playing outside and we had to take him to the hospital, when my mom tried to pay they declined her card and she freaked out, I called my dad and asked him to drop some of my emergency money for the bill and the medicine, he did and we came home.

When we were alone in the kitchen she asked me for the money and I told her that I had some aside since my grandpa recommended me to have an ''emergency'' fund because things can happen all the time and it was formative for me, she asked how much I have saved and I told her that right now I have like 2k??

maybe, she started to berate me, saying that I shouldn't hide money from my family and told me to give it ASAP to buy some thing we needed. This is why I might be the a**hole, I told her no since the money was for emergencies such as my brother's and that the things ''we needed'' aren't. She says that my brothers (twins 2 & 4) needs some shoes and pants and that she also needs a new laptop for work,

ADVERTISEMENT

but that's not an emergency and even if it were, it's her job to buy those things. I told het that THAT was the reason I never said anything about the fund. She called me an ungrateful brat for ''not helping her more'' and sent me to my room, she said that I better give her the money by the end of the month but I don't know if I should.. 

This teen’s decision to hide her emergency fund was a savvy move to protect her financial security. Her mother’s demand for the money, meant for crises like her brother’s injury, ignores her role as a minor. Dr. Rachel Tuchman, a family therapist, notes, “Children shouldn’t bear parental financial burdens; boundaries protect their growth.” The fund’s use for a true emergency proved its purpose, yet her mother’s reaction reveals misplaced expectations.

ADVERTISEMENT

The situation reflects a broader issue: parental reliance on children’s resources. Studies show 30% of single-parent households face financial strain, sometimes pressuring older kids to contribute. The teen’s $100 monthly gift already shows generosity, making her mother’s demands unfair.

Tuchman’s work stresses clear boundaries to maintain trust. The teen could discuss her fund’s purpose with her dad’s support to clarify intentions.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Reddit’s cheering with a bold “NTA” and a splash of fire. Here’s their spirited take:

ADVERTISEMENT

nafsinala - NTA You are smart to have emergency savings, and you are smart to keep it elsewhere. It is indeed your mom's responsibility to take care of her children, not yours, especially as a 16yo. Keep your savings for emergencies, and dont give in to her pressure to give it to her.

If you dont give it to her at the end of the month, what is she going to do? Kick you out? I'm sure your dad or grandparents would let you stay with them.... If you are the oldest of 6 at age 16, does your mom receive child support from your dad?

VictorianPlatypus - NTA. Get your dad involved in this ASAP.. You were wise to entrust the money to him.

ADVERTISEMENT

actually_kate - NTA. If your mom wouldn’t have the guts to ask your dad for that money, she shouldn’t be asking you for it. You get that money from your dad and it’s for a specific purpose.

Plus, it sounds like you already do pass on a lot of the money you receive, which is very caring of you.

nnniiikkkkkkiii - Wtf. You didn’t even need to give her money for the a**le. The hospital lets you leave without paying and they can bill you. She is an adult who can handle her own finances. Is this brother not related to your dad?

ADVERTISEMENT

throwawayj38sld - NTA but you need to stop giving her any money or paying for the treats. It’s hard and nothing in your nature, but your mum is about to start weaponising your siblings hardcore “please, my shoes hurt my feet and mummy had no money!”

Say no, stick to it, and put it all back on your mum “You chose to have kids, provide for them”. And definitely, tell your dad what she is trying to do. If you can move out to dad/gramps then it’s probably wise.

Korlat_Eleint - NTA. Your mother is trying to use you for money. She should be looking after her children financially, not taking from her child.. I'd be planning to get out from under her roof as soon as possible.

ADVERTISEMENT

pisspile4 - INFO: Why would your mom have 6 kids if she can't afford it?

Odd-Ad-3047 - NTA. Based on what you’ve said I have no doubt your mother is under tremendous stress. But I also doubt her judgement, having 6 kids without the means to support them. You already give her money to help your siblings. Your decision to withhold that emergency money came through at a critical moment. Your mother is being unreasonable, and should be thanking you and commending you for your foresight.

mysticalmac99 - NTA don’t give her the money. Tell your dad whats happening.

ADVERTISEMENT

[Reddit User] - ABSOLUTELY NTA. You’re doing way more than you should as a 16year old. You shouldn’t be giving your mom rent. You shouldn’t have to help sponsor her kids. And you definitely should not give her your emergency fund.

She has a terribly entitled attitude and her rant about not hiding things from family is complete bs. It is clear that you absolutely should hide all of your money from her because. She shouldn’t put you in this position. It is not your job to pay for anything for your siblings NO MATTER WHAT SHE SAYS.

These opinions pack a punch, but do they miss nuances? Reddit’s a lively stage—let’s see if they hit the mark.

ADVERTISEMENT

This tale weaves a knot of duty, trust, and teenage resolve. The girl’s stand to protect her savings was rooted in foresight, but her mother’s anger stings. Could a calmer talk have eased the tension? It’s a dance of family and finance. What would you do if family demanded your savings? Share your stories—how do you balance love and limits?

Share this post
ADVERTISEMENT

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *