AITA for not telling my fwb’s (friends with benefits) brother he couldn’t afford what I was drinking?
In the warm glow of a bustling bar, the clink of glasses and laughter fill the air, but a costly misunderstanding brews. A man, savoring his prized Glengoyne 35-year-old whisky at $322 a double shot, crosses paths with Victor, his friend-with-benefits’ brother. When Victor boldly orders the same for his group, unaware of the jaw-dropping price, the night ends with a $3,800 bill he can’t pay, a heated argument, and the man footing the tab.
Victor’s anger erupts outside, accusing the man of failing to warn him about the whisky’s cost, branding him an asshole for assuming he could afford it. The sting of the confrontation lingers, resurfacing years later. Reddit’s AITA community pours into the debate, their takes as sharp as the whisky itself, stirring a lively discussion on bar etiquette and responsibility.
‘AITA for not telling my fwb’s (friends with benefits) brother he couldn’t afford what I was drinking?’
This man’s decision to cover Victor’s $3,800 bar tab was generous, but his failure to warn about the whisky’s cost sparked a clash rooted in miscommunication. Victor’s assumption that the drinks were affordable highlights a lapse in bar etiquette, but the man’s silence didn’t help bridge the gap.
Etiquette expert Daniel Post Senning notes, “In social settings, clarity about costs can prevent misunderstandings, especially with expensive orders” (source: Emily Post Institute). Victor’s bold order without checking the price was reckless, but the man, aware of the $322-per-shot cost, could have subtly flagged it to avoid embarrassment. His assumption that Victor could afford it misjudged their casual acquaintance.
Bar disputes like this are common. A 2020 survey by YouGov found that 55% of bar patrons have faced unexpected bill shock, often due to unclear pricing or assumptions about shared rounds. The bartender’s silence, possibly to avoid seeming condescending, left Victor exposed, escalating the situation.
The man should stand by his generosity but learn from the fallout. In future group settings, a discreet heads-up about high costs can prevent drama. Victor, meanwhile, should own his oversight and appreciate the bailout, rather than holding a grudge. Open communication in social spaces can keep the night smooth.
Check out how the community responded:
Reddit’s AITA community is split, with many calling the man not the asshole, arguing Victor was responsible for checking the price before ordering. They praise the man for paying the bill, noting it wasn’t his duty to warn an acquaintance, and criticize Victor’s entitled reaction after being bailed out.
Others lean toward everyone sucking here, suggesting the man could have mentioned the whisky’s cost to spare Victor’s embarrassment, especially given their limited rapport. They also fault the bartender for not clarifying the price, but the consensus leans toward Victor owning his costly mistake.
This tale of a whisky-fueled bar night gone wrong highlights the pitfalls of assumptions and unspoken costs in social settings. Reddit’s mixed verdict underscores the gray area of bar etiquette—should you warn someone about a pricey drink? Share your experiences—when have you faced a surprise bill or a social misstep at a bar?
