AITA for not telling my friends I am technically our landlord?

Family relationships can be full of surprises—especially when hidden financial truths come to light. In this post, an 18-year-old college student shares how she kept a major secret from her roommates: she is technically the landlord. Gifted a house near her college by her hardworking, financially savvy parents, she chose not to disclose this detail in order to maintain a friendly, uncomplicated living situation.

The house, which remains legally owned by her parents to avoid hefty tax implications, has become her new home alongside two roommates, Sasha (18f) and Bea (19f). What began as a simple arrangement to help cover bills has now escalated into a heated family and social dispute about transparency and fairness.

Her roommates recently discovered that the money they pay as rent actually goes directly into her pocket—money that her father sends back to her. They feel misled, arguing that if they had known she owned the property, they might have reconsidered the arrangement.

The OP, however, insists that her intentions were never to deceive; she simply wanted to avoid an awkward dynamic that might change their relationship. This situation raises complex questions about what needs to be disclosed when living with friends and how financial boundaries should be managed in a shared home.

‘AITA for not telling my friends I am technically our landlord?’

Family and financial experts highlight the importance of transparency in shared living arrangements. Dr. Karen Finn, a relationship counselor, explains, “When entering into a roommate agreement, clear disclosure of financial arrangements is crucial for building trust and ensuring everyone feels they are treated fairly.”

In this case, the OP’s choice to withhold the fact that she is technically the landlord has created feelings of mistrust among her roommates, who now feel they are being charged for a privilege they never agreed to. Dr. Finn further notes that while there is no legal obligation to disclose every detail about property ownership, ethical considerations suggest that transparency can prevent misunderstandings and future conflicts.

“Even if the intention is to avoid an awkward dynamic, hiding key financial information can backfire when it comes to matters of shared expenses and mutual responsibility,” she adds. This perspective underscores that while the OP might have believed that revealing her ownership would alter her relationship with her roommates, the long-term consequences of secrecy—especially when money is involved—can lead to significant relational strain.

Additionally, experts argue that establishing clear financial boundaries is essential for maintaining a balanced household. “Clear communication about who pays what and why is not just a financial matter; it’s also about respect and honesty among peers,” Dr. Finn explains. In this situation, the OP’s decision to pay rent through the property portal and not directly to her roommates provided a secure record, but it also inadvertently exposed a gap in transparency that many believe should have been addressed from the outset.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

The Reddit community largely supported the OP’s decision, although opinions were mixed. Many commenters agreed that she was justified in protecting her privacy and managing her finances the way she sees fit, noting that if her roommates were comfortable paying rent without knowing the full details, that was their choice.

Others, however, argued that full disclosure is essential in shared living situations, emphasizing that honesty could have prevented the current fallout. Despite these differing views, a common sentiment emerged: while it might be frustrating to deal with unexpected revelations about financial arrangements, the OP’s approach wasn’t entirely unreasonable given her desire to avoid an awkward dynamic.

In conclusion, this story is more than just a dispute over rent—it’s a complex issue about transparency, trust, and the boundaries between friendship and business in a shared living situation. Should roommates be entitled to all the details of their living arrangements, or is it acceptable to keep certain financial matters private?

How do you balance protecting your privacy with ensuring that everyone feels informed and respected? Share your thoughts and experiences below; your insights might help others navigate similar challenges in their shared living spaces.

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