AITA for not telling an Uber driver my age?

The morning rush was in full swing—coffee in hand, a woman in her early 30s hopped into an Uber, ready for the workday grind. But instead of a friendly “good morning,” the driver hit her with an unexpected curveball: “How old are you?” Stunned by the blunt question, she pushed back, sparking a quick standoff that ended with her stepping out and calling another ride. This quirky encounter, shared on Reddit, has folks divided over who was in the right.

It’s a scenario that feels like a modern-day etiquette puzzle. Was the driver just doing his job, or did he overstep? And was her refusal to answer a power move or a fair reaction? This story taps into the awkward dance of personal boundaries and workplace rules, leaving readers curious about where the line should be drawn.

‘AITA for not telling an Uber driver my age?’

This happened a few months ago and every time I take an Uber (8-10 times a week) I'm still dumbfounded by the experience and wondering what happened here. Relevant intro - I look young, but not that young - I'm in my early 30's, maybe could pass for early 20's but pretty clearly not a teenager.

I use Uber to go to work 3-4 times a week, and this morning was one of those mornings. Driver (\~mid 50's male?) pulls up outside of my house, I walk outside, open the door, say 'Hi \_\_\_ how's it going' and he just turns around and says 'How old are you?'.

I was a little taken back since that's a pretty odd way to respond to 'how's it going', so I responded with 'I'm sorry?' and he repeated himself. I asked him why he needed to know how old I was, and he told me he needed to make sure that I was old enough to ride in an Uber.

I told him I was old enough to ride in an Uber, and he responded by telling me that if I wouldn't share how old I was with him that he wasn't comfortable driving me so I told him that's fine and got out of the car and called a different Uber.. AITA for not just resolving this situation by telling this guy my age?

Stepping into an Uber expecting a smooth ride only to face a personal question can throw anyone off balance. The Reddit user, looking younger than her 30s, faced a driver ensuring she wasn’t an unaccompanied minor—a policy Uber enforces to protect drivers from liability. Her refusal to share her exact age stemmed from surprise and discomfort, while the driver’s insistence was about covering his bases. Both had valid points, but the exchange fizzled fast.

This situation highlights a broader issue: navigating personal privacy in professional interactions. A 2022 survey by Pew Research found that 64% of Americans feel uneasy sharing personal details with service providers due to privacy concerns. The driver’s blunt approach—asking for an exact age—may have felt intrusive, especially without context.

Etiquette expert Diane Gottsman notes, “Service providers should frame questions tactfully to avoid alienating customers.” A simple “Can you confirm you’re over 18?” could have diffused the tension. For riders, a quick “I’m well over 18” keeps things moving without revealing more than needed. Both could have communicated better—perhaps the driver explains the policy upfront, or the rider reassures without dodging.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

Reddit’s got opinions hotter than a summer car seat—let’s check out the buzz!

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SamScoopCooper − NAH. Uber drivers aren’t supposed to give rides to unaccompanied minors. He really was just covering his back. But I understand you being taken aback. I look young too and have had the same issue, it’s weird if you’ve never been asked before.

[Reddit User] − Hm well website of Uber says you have to be over 18 to use an Uber alone and driver can refuse so it’s totally possible with teens and drivers age he has a hard time telling people’s ages so NAH

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pottersquash − NAH. He legally can't drive you if he suspects you are underage.

DevilGuy − YTA, he's not allowed to drive you if you're an unaccompanied minor, he couldn't tell so he asked, and then you took that as license to waste his time. This is like getting carded for buying alcohol or cigarettes,

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I looked young and got that s**t all the time till I grew a beard, that might not be possible for you but that's just the hand you were dealt, it's not license to inconvenience others because they can't tell how old you are.

peonypegasus − NTA If you were too young to ride in the uber, you could have told him, 'I'm 20' with no difficulty whatsoever. You told him 'I am old enough to ride in an uber.' Unless he wants to check your ID, that should be good enough.

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PJ_lyrics − YTA just answer this working dudes question so he can continue working. He has a right to refuse driving around underaged girls.

gabbycya − tbh YTA. He was doing his job. There’s a policy and he was just checking. I have a baby face and I’m 23. I get it. It’s annoying being mistaken for younger than you are. I just say “Nah I’m 23” and move on. Maybe it would be different depending on his tone of voice. But it’s not even that hard to answer the question.

He literally said he was uncomfortable.  Uber drivers have probably dealt with a lot of s**t. If I asked a customer a simple question and they answered with the way you did, I’d be pretty irritated right back. I wouldnt show it outwardly but things would just go more smoothly. And I do work customer service.

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pointwelltaken − YTA. You admit that you’re aware you look younger than your age so it’s pretty obvious why the driver was asking. Even when he said why he wanted to know you refused to simply answer with innocuous info. I can’t imagine what you think another person could possibly do with just that information? Do you get paranoid and suspicious when the bartender asks you for ID? They’re both just trying to do their job.

iLuvTopanga17 − NAH. I can't comment on his tone but the question itself is valid, as Uber drivers can get in trouble for giving rides to underage users. But you're well within your right to hop out and grab another Uber.

verminiusrex − NAH, although the Uber driver should have instead asked 'Are you 18 or older'. Uber drivers can get deactivated for driving an unaccompanied minor, so I see why they ask someone that looks young (I looked like a teen into my 20's) but there are more polite ways to both ask and answer the question.

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From siding with the driver’s caution to backing the rider’s boundary, these takes are all over the map. But do they solve the puzzle, or just add more fuel to the Reddit fire?

This Uber tale is a quick snapshot of how a simple question can spiral into a standoff. The driver wanted to follow rules; the rider wanted her privacy respected. Who’s got the upper hand here? It’s a reminder that clear communication can save a lot of hassle. Ever had an awkward moment with a driver or server? What would you do in this situation? Spill your thoughts in the comments!

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