AITA for not talking to my father anymore and refusing to call him dad because he decided he didn’t want a daughter anymore?

A 19-year-old woman has stopped speaking to her biological father and refuses to call him “dad” ever again. The breaking point came during a heated argument between her parents, when he loudly declared he had “given up being a father a long time ago” and that she should consider herself fatherless.

Instead of breaking down, she calmly told him that she no longer had a father either — and she meant it. Four days later her mother is pressuring her to drop the “drama,” go back to normal, and start calling him dad again. The young woman feels deeply betrayed, pointing out years of neglect, cruel “jokes” about her body and intelligence, and multiple times he literally forgot to pick her up — including leaving her waiting five hours at a psychologist’s office. Now she’s wondering if she’s the one in the wrong.

‘AITA for not talking to my father anymore and refusing to call him dad because he decided he didn’t want a daughter anymore?’

The relationship between this 19-year-old and her biological father was never close:

Everything exploded four days ago during a serious fight between her parents:

She was standing right there and heard every single word:

The father didn’t just fail to show up emotionally. He spent years mocking his own daughter’s appearance and intelligence, repeatedly left her waiting alone in unsafe or inconvenient places, contributed almost nothing financially or around the house, and then — when cornered — publicly announced he had already “given up” on being her father long ago.

When his daughter calmly matched his energy and said she no longer considers him her father, she wasn’t being spiteful. She was finally being honest about the reality he himself created.

Clinical psychologist Dr. Ramani Durvasula addressed a very similar dynamic in a 2023 Psychology Today piece: “When a parent repeatedly signals — through words and far more powerfully through actions — that they do not value the relationship or the responsibility, the child’s eventual emotional withdrawal is not punishment. It is survival. It is the psyche protecting whatever self-worth is still left.”

The mother’s reaction adds another painful layer. Even though she is the main provider and has put up with his behavior for years, she is now asking her daughter to swallow the hurt and go back to pretending he deserves the title “dad.” That request often comes from a deep fear of change or conflict — but it puts the burden of “fixing” the family on the person who has already been hurt the most.

Check out how the community responded:

The overwhelming majority of commenters stood firmly with the 19-year-old and had very little sympathy for either parent.

Many pointed out that she is simply taking her father at his own word:

A large number of people directed strong criticism toward the mother for enabling the situation for years and then pressuring her daughter to accept it:

Several readers shared their own similar experiences and encouraged her to protect herself moving forward:

She is not wrong for refusing to keep calling that man “dad” after he openly said he doesn’t want the role anymore. Her choice is a direct, honest response to years of neglect, humiliation and abandonment. Her mother may desperately want the old “normal” back, but that normal was already hurting her daughter badly.

Protecting her own peace matters more than preserving a title that was never backed up by actions. What do you think about this situation? Have you ever had to set a hard boundary with a parent? How did you hold it when other family members pushed back? Share your thoughts below.