AITA for not supporting my boyfriend when he lost his dog and following through with an job interview?

A woman prioritized her dream job interview over her boyfriend’s grief. After an eight-month selection process, the 28-year-old was set for a final interview four hours away when her boyfriend’s 14-year-old dog, Rex, passed away unexpectedly. Thirty minutes before the interview, he called in tears, asking her to return immediately. She comforted him over the phone, promising to drive back post-interview, but it ran long, delaying her return until evening.

Her boyfriend, upset that she didn’t skip the interview, buried Rex alone and shut her out, claiming she chose her career over him. Some friends agree his feelings are valid, while she argues she couldn’t abandon a life-changing opportunity. Reddit debates whether she neglected his needs or made a reasonable choice. Was she wrong to stay for the interview? Can career and emotional support coexist?

‘AITA for not supporting my boyfriend when he lost his dog and following through with an job interview?’

She and her boyfriend don’t live together; she pursued a dream job:

My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years and we don't live together. He has a dog, Rex, 14 years old. Recently I was in the selection process...

This job has always been my dream because it is an area that I have always loved and the selection process is one of the most difficult and lasted almost...

but the vets were hopeful, when I went to travel he would be discharged the next day. I went on Sunday night, Monday afternoon was my interview and I would...

He called her before the interview, devastated by Rex’s passing:

30 minutes before the interview, my boyfriend called in tears with the news that Rex had a complication and passed away. Obviously I was comforting him over the phone, trying...

After about 20 minutes, he asked if I could get on the road to be with him. I said yes, of course, I would do an interview and as soon...

He was reserved but wished her luck; she got the job:

He was quiet, said okay and wished me good luck. The interview was great and the next day I was offered the position, but it lasted longer than expected (30...

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As soon as I finished, I texted and called, but no response, so I went to the hotel and took the road arriving at 7PM at his house, I went...

I arrived, he said that he had already buried Rex and that he didn't need my support anymore if I literally chose my career over supporting him emotionally in this...

She argued she did her best, but they’re not speaking:

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I tried to talk to him saying that it would have taken me at least 4 hours to help him and as soon as the interview ended, which lasted longer...

But he closed the door on my face. We're not talking, I don't know if we're going to continue our relationship, I've brought this up to some friends of mine...

I really don't think it is, because anyway I wouldn't be with him for 4 hours and I tried as soon as I could to talk to him, but I...

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The woman faced a difficult choice between a career-defining interview and supporting her grieving boyfriend. After an eight-month selection process, the interview was a pivotal moment for her future, while Rex’s unexpected death, though devastating, couldn’t be undone by her immediate presence. Her decision to comfort her boyfriend over the phone and drive back post-interview reflects an attempt to balance both priorities, despite the four-hour distance making immediate support impractical.

Her boyfriend’s call 30 minutes before the interview, while driven by grief, placed her in an unfair position. His expectation that she skip the interview ignores the long-term implications of her career opportunity, which could benefit their shared future. His shutting her out after she drove back, despite her discomfort with night driving, suggests a lack of empathy for her constraints and a possible need for control, as noted by Reddit.

The situation strains their relationship, highlighting mismatched expectations. His grief is valid, but dismissing her efforts and closing the door—literally and figuratively—escalates the conflict. Her friends’ mixed reactions reflect the complexity of balancing personal loss with a partner’s ambitions, but her choice was pragmatic, not neglectful.

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She should initiate an open conversation, acknowledging his pain while explaining her perspective, to assess if mutual understanding is possible. Reflecting on whether his reaction indicates broader issues, as Reddit suggests, is crucial. Continuing to prioritize her career and well-being, especially with this new job, is essential. If the relationship cannot withstand this tension, reevaluating its viability may be necessary to ensure both partners’ needs are respected.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Reddit backs the woman’s choice to prioritize her career-defining interview.

Many affirm her decision given the job’s importance.

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Hot_Tamali1580 - NTA- 1. A selection process that takes 8 MONTHS and for what? You were already in another city when it happened and you consoled him before your interview....

If it takes him one day to grieve then yeah I guess it’s important. 4. He wished you good luck so he knew you were doing the interview. … 5....

Shieby1234 - NTA. OP left within 2ish hours of the phone call and had a 4 hour car ride after competing for a dream job (process for which was 8...

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lostalldoubt86 - NTA- … Your career comes first. You had the opportunity for a dream job and you took it. You then left earlier than expected ( while driving at...

pixie-ann - NTA it is completely unreasonable to expect someone to miss an important interview in this situation.

Commenters fault his unrealistic expectations and behavior:

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hellhound_wrangler - NTA, your ex-bf is a controlling, self-centered AH. You were 4 hours from home, you can't teleport, and you offered to drive back that night, despite your worries...

If Rex hadn't died, you'd be a bitch for going when his dog was sick, or if Rex was fine, you'd be a villain for not thinking about how your...

VerityPee - NTA and I’ll go further. I would NEVER call someone half an hour before their interview and risk upsetting their chances and my dogs are my babies. I...

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WhizzoButterBoy - NTA This feels so wrong. … Calling you 20 minutes before a vitally important interview? !! Feels like sabotage, I don’t care how upset he was … the...

Some see both sides but lean toward her choice.

plague-dog - NTA. Look. This fucking sucks. You had two bad choices and you made the best one you could in a difficult situation. … Your job has long-term implications...

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in terms of your mental health, life opportunities, which experiences will be open or closed to you. .. and all of this has knock-on effects for the people in your...

MonkeyWrench - NAH You didn't NOT support him, you let him know when the interview was over that you would be on the road. …

At the same time, it has the feeling that he expected you to drop the interview and rush to his side. It isn't realistic to expect you to sacrifice your...

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Sara_Summers - NTA You clearly care about him and did everything you could to be there for him.

Others validate his grief but support her decision.

AmbientApe - … it’s a fucking dog. Do we love them? Yes. Do we think of them as family? Yes. Will I be devastated when mine does? Yes. But the...

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Phillherupp - I’ve lost pets and I know how gut-wrenching it is. But I can’t imagine calling my SO with news like that right before their dream job interview, let...

Sweeper1985 - NTA I can only hope he's irrational due to grief and does not really believe you should have cancelled this important interview to be with him a few...

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The woman’s decision to attend her dream job interview amid her boyfriend’s grief over his dog’s death has sparked tension. She balanced offering phone support with pursuing a career-defining opportunity, but his rejection of her efforts suggests mismatched priorities.

Reddit largely supports her choice. Was the woman wrong to prioritize her job interview? How can couples balance personal grief with partner’s career goals? Let’s pose more questions below, shall we?

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