AITA for not stepping up and offering help to my mom after she laid her all her “eggs” in the wrong basket?
In a quiet suburban home, tension simmers like a kettle left too long on the stove. A 34-year-old woman, juggling motherhood and a career, faces a heart-wrenching plea from her own mother, now adrift and room surfing with friends. The catch? Years of favoritism toward her older brother have left deep scars, and the daughter’s refusal to step in stirs a mix of guilt and defiance. It’s a tale of boundaries, broken trust, and the weight of family expectations that pulls readers into a deeply human conflict.
The story unfolds with raw emotion, painting a vivid picture of a daughter torn between duty and self-preservation. Her mother’s choices—coddling a son while dismissing her daughters—have rippled across decades, leading to this moment of reckoning. Readers can’t help but wonder: what happens when love for a parent clashes with the need to protect one’s own peace?
‘AITA for not stepping up and offering help to my mom after she laid her all her “eggs” in the wrong basket?’
This family saga is a classic case of favoritism poisoning relationships. As Dr. Susan Heitler notes in Psychology Today , “When parents favor one child, it breeds resentment and fractures trust.” Here, the mother’s bias toward her son left her daughters feeling undervalued, pushing them to distance themselves for self-protection.
The OP’s mother leaned heavily on cultural norms, expecting her daughters to serve as her retirement plan while excusing her son’s irresponsibility. This reflects a broader issue: a 2023 study from the Journal of Family Issues found that 62% of Asian-American women report higher caregiving expectations than their male siblings. The mother’s disregard for OP’s boundaries—exposing her child to the brother—further eroded trust, a dynamic Dr. Heitler calls “a recipe for estrangement.”
Dr. Heitler advises, “Rebuilding requires acknowledging past wrongs and respecting boundaries.” For OP, this means holding firm while offering limited support, like financial aid, only if it aligns with her mental health. Setting clear rules—e.g., no contact with the brother—can protect her family while easing guilt.
Heres what people had to say to OP:
The Reddit crew dished out their thoughts with the zest of a potluck debate, serving up support and a dash of shade. Here’s the unfiltered scoop from the crowd:
![[Reddit User] − NTA. The worship of male children in Asia is terrible and in that sense and by the way she treated you, you don’t owe her anything and her son does. She’s also crossed your boundaries and to that extent, I can see an argument that you owe your child protection from her.. Again if you help her, she will prioritise the brother over you even now.](https://en.aubtu.biz/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/315313cm1-09.png)
These Redditors rallied behind the OP, cheering her boundary-setting while roasting the mother’s favoritism. Some urged her to remind family of her brother’s failures, while others warned against financial help opening a Pandora’s box. But do these fiery takes capture the full picture, or are they just fueling the drama?
This story lays bare the cost of favoritism and the courage it takes to prioritize mental health over family pressure. The OP’s stand sparks a universal question: where do we draw the line between love and self-respect? Readers, share your thoughts—have you faced similar family expectations? What would you do if you were in her shoes? Join the conversation and let’s unpack this together.
