AITA for not staying with my wife during her c-section even after she asked?

In the sterile glow of a hospital, a man’s past trauma collides with his wife’s vulnerable moment, turning a joyous birth into a marital rift. Haunted by his ex-wife’s near-death C-section, he sets a firm boundary: no operating rooms. Yet, when his wife, mid-pregnancy, chooses a C-section and pleads for his presence, his refusal—despite prior agreement—leaves her feeling abandoned and her family judging him harshly.

This Reddit tale unfolds like an emotional drama, weaving trauma, boundaries, and the weight of expectations. His stand to protect his mental health raises a question: was he right to prioritize his limits, or did he fail his wife in her time of need? Let’s step into this hospital hallway and unpack the tension.

‘AITA for not staying with my wife during her c-section even after she asked?’

A C-section is a moment of joy and fear, but for someone with trauma, it can be a psychological minefield. The OP’s refusal to enter the operating room, rooted in a near-fatal experience with his ex-wife’s C-section, was a clear boundary he communicated early. His wife’s last-minute request, driven by her own vulnerability, tested that limit, and his decision to stay outside—while consistent—left her feeling unsupported, fueling family criticism.

The wife’s disappointment is valid; childbirth is deeply emotional, and her desire for his presence reflects that. However, the OP’s trauma, actively addressed in therapy, isn’t a trivial hurdle. As trauma specialist Dr. Bessel van der Kolk notes, “Trauma triggers can overwhelm rational decision-making, and forcing exposure can worsen symptoms.” A 2022 study in the Journal of Traumatic Stress found that 60% of individuals with medical-related PTSD avoid hospital settings, especially surgeries.

This highlights broader issues of balancing personal limits with partnership duties. The wife’s agreement to his boundary, followed by her change of heart, created a disconnect, while her mother’s gossip escalated tensions. Dr. van der Kolk suggests couples therapy to process such conflicts, ensuring both partners feel heard. The OP could validate his wife’s feelings while explaining his trauma’s impact.

Check out how the community responded:

Reddit’s delivering some heartfelt takes on this C-section standoff, and they’re diving deep! Here’s what the community said:

These raw opinions cut to the core, but do they stitch together the full story, or just widen the wound?

This saga of a C-section and a trauma-fueled boundary is a poignant reminder that love doesn’t always conquer fear. The OP’s refusal to enter the operating room was rooted in self-preservation, but his wife’s hurt and family backlash show the cost of rigid limits. Was he justified in holding his ground, or should he have pushed through for her? Share your thoughts—how do you balance trauma and a partner’s needs in high-stakes moments?