AITA for not splitting the control of my business to my children equally?

Shirley Stafford Hours
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Imagine a warm German evening, the scent of bratwurst lingering as a family gathers around a sturdy oak table. A 65-year-old electrician, his hands calloused from decades of wiring homes, shares his retirement dream: passing his thriving business to his son, Alexander. The room shifts—pride mixes with tension as his daughter Marie’s face clouds with hurt, accusing him of favoritism. This isn’t just about a business; it’s about family ties tangled in legacy and love, sparking a debate that pulls at heartstrings.

Readers, you’re in for a story that’s as much about volts as it is about values. The electrician’s choice seems practical—Alexander’s been his work partner for 17 years—but Marie’s pain hints at deeper family currents. Can a business handover ever feel fair when emotions run high? Let’s dive into this Reddit saga and see where the sparks fly.

‘AITA for not splitting the control of my business to my children equally?’

Hay, 65-year-old electrician from Germany here.. I plan to settle down, travelling with my wife(65) and spoiling our grandchildren for the rest of our life.. I had built up a small business with now 23 employees, my son(36) Alexander will take control of it.

I have also 2 daughters in which I am proud of, Laura(34) has study Biochemistry and has her master’s degree, Marie(30) became a middle school teacher in mathematics and sports.. I have recently spoken about my plan at a family gathering.. Laura was totally acceptable with it, but Marie accused me of favoritism.

That is not true, I love every of my children equally, but my son decided to make a training on my side as he graduated(Abitur similar to high school), additional he got a masters license as electrician. So we work nearly 17 years together, also he has the ability to run our business and our employees respect him.

I told my daughter the points above, but she said I was always closer to my son as to my daughters. Sadly, I have to admit it is kind of true, but how isn't it possible if I work all the day together with my son? He is also my colleague and my right hand at work. My wife, Laura and Alexander side with me, so i need an outside opinion in here, so Reddit AITA?

ETA: many of you asked, and here are some answers. Alexander will become the owner, I will be totally out of it. As he started to work with me, we were only 6 People, and as he got his master’s license he trained 7 of our employees. We Germans say 'Er war mit Herzblut bei der Sache', he sacrificed a lot.

My daughters were offered to work with me and earned money in school holidays on my side, but as they graduated they had their own career plans which my Wife and I have Supported, financially and emotionally.

A Redditor send a link to another story which I have read, and now I am pretty sure I can inherit the business only to my son. I am thankful for your replies and i had read almost every of them.. I just think about, if I should benefit my daughters on my will in exchange.. ​

Passing a family business can be like wiring a house in a storm—one wrong move, and the lights go out. The electrician’s decision to give Alexander, his 17-year work partner, full ownership is logical; Alexander’s master’s license and employee training scream competence. Marie’s cry of favoritism, though, isn’t just about money—it’s about feeling seen. Dr. Ellen Lerner, a family business consultant, says, “Fair doesn’t mean equal; it means aligning rewards with contributions while nurturing family bonds” .

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Marie’s hurt likely stems from emotional distance, not just the business. Working daily with Alexander naturally deepened their bond, but Marie feels left on the sidelines. Data shows 60% of family business disputes arise from perceived unfairness, not finances . Her accusation reflects a broader issue: how families navigate legacy when paths diverge.

To address this, the electrician could balance his estate—perhaps allocating investments or property to Laura and Marie. Lerner suggests open family meetings to validate feelings and clarify intentions. This approach keeps Alexander at the helm while ensuring the daughters feel valued, preserving family harmony.

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For solutions, estate planning with a mediator can help. The electrician might consider making his daughters minority shareholders or adjusting his will to balance assets. This respects Alexander’s role while addressing Marie’s sense of exclusion, grounding the family circuit without shorting it out.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Reddit’s hive mind brought the heat, dishing out a mix of high-fives and raised eyebrows. From cheering Alexander’s hard-earned role to questioning unequal inheritances, the comments are a lively family reunion gone rogue. Here’s the raw scoop from the crowd:

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Stigweird85 − NTA - you are giving your electrician business to the electrician who has worked there for 17 years. You're employees would think you are the a**hole if you handed control over to someone with no experience other than being related

BunnyDeRabbit − NTA. Your son has invested his time and energy in the business and helped you to make it a success, no doubt. And all of your reasons are also correct - by leaving the business to your son, you are also trying to ensure that the workers,

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and their families also have a long term future with the business, as your son is best placed to keep the company running successfully. Also - it’s your business and your money - and therefore your right to leave it to whoever you want to.. Good luck.

[Reddit User] − NTA. That’s just sensible business. Marie likely doesn’t have much experience in this industry or in running a business. Your son is most qualified and knows the ins-and-outs after working with you for 17 years. It sounds like Marie is more bitter about Alexander’s close relationship with you rather than the handover of the business.

ingydingy − So NTA for giving your son a business because he works in it But I do think you need to think what your daughter is saying. She is saying she feels excluded and probably always have. If you love your daughter that is really something that you have to pay attention too. Also something else to consider is how to acknowledge that you are giving one child a major asset but not your others?

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Taapacoyne5 − Maybe YTA. In family businesses, estate planning is very necessary. Typically, there might be one sibling who takes over a business, and even possibly becomes the sole new owner. But then there are other mechanisms to make sure an estate is fairly divided. Family assets, investment accounts, etc., can be used to equalize.

Additionally, the daughters can be shareholders while the son runs the business, gets a nice salary, and over time fairly buys out his sisters. German culture relating to inheritances is often skewed towards the oldest son. I don’t think this is fair, and it does not sound like you are making this fair between your three children.

I work for a family owned German business. The oldest son has the majority. His siblings have the minority and are on the board. But through other mechanisms, all children are being treated with equity. Try harder to make a fair deal with all children.

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LordofToomay − INFO, your son will have control of the business, which is reasonable, but will any of the profits be shared with his sisters? That might be why Marie is upset. If he gets control of the business and all the profits, then it does seem one sided. If however, he was the MD with a salary and the profits were split evenly that might make Marie feel less left out.

BertTheNerd − I N F O: 'Taking control' means, he will lead the company or he will own company? This is not quite clear in your post, but it would be crucial for the judgement.. ETA: YTA

Ok_Raspberry_1930 − YTA, actually. Not for giving your son control of the business, but for essentially disinheriting your daughters. They have reasonable expectations to an inheritance - after all, you’re not considering giving the business to a long-term employee you’re NOT related to - and unless you are compensating them in other ways, yes, it is favouritism.

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albertthealligator − INFO. Gotta say, I'm completely baffled by the responses here. Having your son run the business obviously makes the most sense. But that's not the issue at all. If I understand correctly, the issue is this: *you are giving your son a* ***much*** *bigger inheritance than your daughters*. Period.

I don't see anywhere where the daughters are interested in running the business, so I assume the only issue is money. If that's not the issue, please explain; if it is, YTA for the very simple reason of *giving your son a* ***much*** *bigger inheritance than your daughters*.

vegemine − YTA. He got paid as a worker. That’s fair compensation already. Your daughters have their own careers and earned their own living as well. That is fair compensation. Gifting the entire company to one child and excluding your others is unfair.

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These Redditors didn’t hold back, with some praising the electrician’s logic and others waving red flags over fairness. Supporters see Alexander as the clear choice, while critics push for balancing the scales. But do these spicy takes capture the full picture, or are they just fanning the flames?

This electrician’s story is a live wire, exposing the tricky balance of family and business. Alexander’s dedication makes him the natural heir, but Marie’s hurt shows fairness isn’t just about logic—it’s about love. Navigating a legacy without burning bridges is tough, and this tale proves it. How would you handle passing down a family business while keeping everyone happy? Share your thoughts below and tell us what you’d do in this charged situation.

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