AITA for not splitting cost of a new dog with my gf?

A snowy road, a reckless driver, and a beloved dog named Sadie set the stage for heartbreak. When OP’s girlfriend swerved her car on an icy private road, she struck and killed Sadie, who’d escaped the yard via a frozen snowbank. OP, grappling with grief and Gizmo’s loneliness, demanded their girlfriend cover the $200 cost of a new dog, sparking a bitter feud that ended their relationship.

This gut-wrenching tale of loss and blame pulls us into a stormy debate over fault, fairness, and moving on. With the ex’s circle crying foul, let’s skid into the details and see who’s really to blame.

‘AITA for not splitting cost of a new dog with my gf?’

Last year I got two puppy sisters, Sadie and Gizmo. They're big girls so I have a six foot wooden fence around my property so they don't go running off and can't jump it. They're pretty well trained except for Sadie, its been an uphill battle training her to not run after cats or cars when she's on leash and out of the yard.

So that's another reason I made sure to have a high enough fence to keep them in. They've got their own doggie door so they can go in and out as they please when I'm at work. My gf is a scary driver, drives fast, swerves on purpose, etc. My house is off the main road a bit so she does it a lot coming and going when she visits or stays over. I hate driving with her and won't if I don't have to.

Basically everyone has warned her about it. A couple weeks ago, I had to. My car had two flats and we'd just had a really n**ty snow storm so GF was going to take me to go pick up two new tires. True to fashion my GF goes fast on an icy road and is having a grand old time making her car fishtail. On f**king ice.

Unfortunately she lost control going around the turn and out of nowhere comes Sadie and she got hit and sadly passed. I did everything in my power to not lose it on her then and there, got out and told her to go, I'd have a friend take me. I found a snow bank in the yard that had iced over andguess Sadie jumped the fence that way.

My gf gave a half-assed apology and swears it wasn't her fault, but I told her that if she had just listened to me and virtually everyone else in her life about her driving, it may have been avoided. I told her to stay away for a couple days while I figure out what to do. I was honestly pretty pissed she didn't offer to do anything, not help bury, new dog, nothing.

Since then, Gizmo's been pretty distressed and lonely so I decided it'd be best for her if I got a new dog soon as possible. The guy my parents trade goats with had an older dog that needed to be rehomed but he wanted a bit of money for him since he's a full blooded Anatolian with papers-200 total.

Works for me, same breed as Gizmo and she's been around him before. Told my GF since it was her fault, to pay for new doggo. She argued about it and dragged her feet but eventually she did pay for it.

The whole situation just soured her to me and I wound up breaking up with her a couple days later. Now she, her family and friends are saying I'm an AH for not splitting the cost of the dog and I should have regardless of what I was thinking because she was my girlfriend and it was just an accident. AITA?

ETA: Some of y'all..please carefully read before hatebombing my DMs. I stated I work 12 hours *some days.* 5-6 times a month, not every single day. My parents do check on the doggos and the chickens on those days. Leaving any animal alone 12 hours a day, every day is just cruel.

ETA: First point people keep raising- why get in a car with her. Because I had to if I wanted to be able to drive my car to work the next day? She was already there. Live too far for my coverage to cover a tow truck and paying out of pocket would've been hundreds of dollars. Parents do not have snow tires on their vehicle so I could not ask them either.

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The soonest a friend could take me was two days later, so wound up losing two days of work. Its not something I ever did unless necessary, it was, and kinda glad so I could see what happened since she had a history of downplaying her driving all the time. What pissed me off was her constantly saying she did absolutely nothing wrong and not apologizing.

She didn't leave me alone, she kept calling telling me to not be mad and 'it was just her time to go'. F**k that noise. Second. Yes, my dogs go outside without me. No, Sadie was not an escape artist that got out all the time, never said that, never inferred it, don't know where y'all pulling that from. That was her first time getting out.

They're a working class dog bred for guarding livestock. Right now its chickens and in two months it'll also be goats. That's what their purpose is. Sadie was not running nilly willy on a regular road or street, she was still on my property.

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The 3/4 mile road to my house is private, that's why my ex always drove like an i**ot on it. There is a 15 acre 'yard' because obviously they need more room than chickens and chickens deserve to come out of their coop.. Third. Putting up rollers and have a snowblower now to keep fence area cleared.

This icy tragedy cuts deep, blending grief with a clash over accountability. OP’s girlfriend’s reckless driving, despite warnings, directly led to Sadie’s death, yet her refusal to fully own the incident fueled OP’s anger. Grief counselor Dr. Alan Wolfelt notes, “Pet loss can trigger intense emotions, especially when tied to perceived negligence” . OP’s demand for the $200 dog cost was a bid to balance the scales, but it couldn’t mend the rift.

Both parties share some blame: the girlfriend for her dangerous driving, and OP for not noticing the snowbank that let Sadie escape. A 2023 ASPCA report found that 30% of pet incidents involve containment failures, often worsened by weather . Yet, the girlfriend’s callous response—downplaying the loss as “just her time”—escalated the conflict. Her $200 payment was a small gesture compared to the emotional toll.

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Dr. Wolfelt suggests, “Open dialogue about shared responsibility can ease tensions.” OP could’ve discussed shared costs calmly, but the girlfriend’s denial shut that door.

See what others had to share with OP:

Reddit users dove into this snowy saga with passion—here’s the hot tea straight from the comments:

[Reddit User] − NTA - she killed your dog because she wouldn't stop recklessly driving. What if your dog had of been a child running onto the street? EVERYONE knows the dangers of reckless driving and she was notified enough times for her to have stopped, but she clearly does not care about the wellbeing of others if she continued this much..

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Do not pay for anything. This isn't on you. Also 'was just an accident' NO. Absolutely not JUST an accident, you only need to be told once to not drive recklessly like a goon for you to know it's inappropriate and she continued, 'just' an accident would imply she is not at fault, but she is.

Daddysdirtycumkitten − You are not the a**hole. Sadie is irreplaceable and 200$ is nothing she is being the a**hole. I'd break up with her. She's shown some shady colors here.. My condolences to you and and Giz 💗

dragstermom − NTA. I don't know why GF didn't take responsibility right away, because she was responsible. Sure accidents happen, which it sounds like this one could have been avoided, but she still showed no compassion when you lost your dog.

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vodka_philosophy − NTA. Your girlfriend KNEW her driving was dangerous and, by choosing to drive that way, she murdered your dog. It just as easily could have been a person she killed (and it likely will be at some point if she doesn't cut the s**t) and she'd be in jail. She should consider she got off 'lightly' by paying for a new dog.. I'm glad you dumped her, and you should take it a step further and block her and her family/friends.

BooksAreLuv − NTA. Your ex is lucky that wasn't a child she killed.

ParsimoniousSalad − NTA for asking her to financially reimburse you for the cost of the new dog since she was at fault. You didn't need to split it with her, nor did you need to continue seeing her after her callousness and lack of care became clear. Sorry about your loss of Sadie. (Snow banks can be a big problem - I've had my dogs just walk over the fence before.)

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MaybeUrTheCrybaby − So the dog had escaped and got hit in the road? It wasn't that your gf crashed onto your property hitting the dog?. this for sure is gonna get a ton of downvotes but ESH You because you were negligent and that allowed the dog to get out. Her because she was driving recklessly.

I don't think it needs to be explained why she sucks beyond that, because it's obvious how much of a danger she is. However, I feel like no one has mentioned how bad it actually is that your dog got out. It getting hit by a car was just one scenario.

The dog couldve attacked someone or another pet (especially since it liked to chase cats) or caused other damages and you wouldve been entirely at fault. Legally speaking, she's not totally responsible for the dog's death, you are as well, because the dog was not under control.

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The dog could've been hit by someone driving perfectly safe, and I think it would be more apparent if anyone else had been driving that you would be responsible for any damages, including any to the car or driver.. Sorry for your loss and glad u dumped the gf

Medium-Audience5078 − NTA, and I am sorry you even think you are second guessing yourself. Your GF should be MORTIFIED. If you would’ve called the cops she would’ve at least gotten a ticket, and maybe even more.

Your gf should’ve bought you a brand new puppy, and honestly she wouldn’t be my gf anymore if I were you after everything. Honestly, she could’ve easily hit a child and not a dog. And honestly the fact other people are trying to make you feel bad for what happened shows that she is being enabled.

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BasisNo1493 − ESH. It was a terrible, sudden loss and I’m sorry for that. But it was more so an avoidable accident on your part than it was hers. When it comes down to it, Sadie was killed because she escaped your yard. When she escaped there was any number of things that could have killed her that day.

Could’ve been another car, a wild animal, eating something dangerous, etc. Keeping your dogs properly contained is your responsibility and yours alone. It must’ve taken quite some time for an icy snowbank like that to form, and it sounds like you were home while it was building in your yard.

The chances of Sadie coming into the picture right when your girlfriend lost control was so small and tragic. But, with it being an icy road, there was a high probability of your girlfriend not being able to stop in time to keep from hitting Sadie regardless of whether she was in control or not.

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But no matter what, it was an accident which is the key word here. The real AH behavior from her here is that she has a history of reckless driving. In this very specific scenario, I wouldn’t necessarily say it was an avoidable accident on her part. But that doesn’t mean that that it will be like that every time.. Devil’s advocate notes

it doesn’t sound great that she didn’t take any responsibility after the accident. But that could’ve possibly due to shock It’s also not great that she didn’t want to help pay for a new dog. But that could also depend on how you approached her about it.

If you started the conversation off with “you need to buy me a new dog because it was all your fault,” then I can understand the hesitation. Again, had Sadie been properly contained then it never would’ve been an issue in the first place

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If you used her to buy a new dog only to break up with her afterwards, then that wouldn’t look good on you. But I’m going to assume that a genuine effort was made for reconciliation and it just didn’t work out.

TessMacc − NTA. She got off very lightly if you ask me. And as others have said, what if it had been a child? Edit to say sorry for your loss. I honestly don't know what I'd do to someone who killed my dog.

These Reddit takes are fiery, but do they clear the road or just spin out? One thing’s clear: OP’s pain resonates with many.

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OP’s loss of Sadie and the breakup that followed reveal how fast grief can spiral into blame. By holding their ex accountable for the new dog’s cost, OP drew a line, but it cost their relationship. This story challenges us to weigh responsibility against accidents in the heat of loss. What would you do if someone’s actions led to your pet’s death? Drop your stories or verdict below—let’s navigate this emotional wreck together!

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