AITA for not siding with my fiancee after my parents wanted to invite 8 more guests.

Jonathan Hours
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Wedding bells are ringing, but so are the alarm bells for one couple caught in a guest list tug-of-war. A 27-year-old bride, thrilled with her dream venue, faces a dilemma when her generous parents—who’ve shelled out $10,000 for the big day—ask to invite eight more guests. Her fiancé, however, digs in his heels, refusing to budge beyond the agreed 100 guests, sparking tears and heated arguments.

This Reddit AITA post dives into the messy intersection of family loyalty, financial gratitude, and wedding planning stress. The bride’s desire to honor her parents clashes with her fiancé’s firm boundaries, leaving readers to wonder: is this about eight extra plates or something deeper? As the online community weighs in, let’s unpack this matrimonial standoff.

‘AITA for not siding with my fiancee after my parents wanted to invite 8 more guests.’

I (27F) and my Fiancee (30m) are getting married in September. Originally we wanted to have a reception with 85 guests, but the venue I really wanted stated we HAD to invite 100 guests. So, we went ahead with the venue I wanted and invited 100 people.

After the invitations had been sent out, my parents were upset to find out we did not invite 4 of their closest friends and their spouses (8 people in total) but they thought it would not be a big deal to ask us to invite these 8 people. My parents are the extremely generous type and I am very spoiled.

For this wedding alone they have brought forward $10000 (pays for more than half the wedding) and my mom paid for my wedding dress. And their generosity goes beyond what they have paid for the wedding (helping me get through university debt free, paying a portion of our house downpayment, helping me buy a new car, and just all around being there for me emotionally).

And for all this, I want to invite these guests to make them happy, as it would make me happy and i want to show them i appreciate all they have done for me (it's much easier than paying them back lol). My fiancee does not share this opinion and insists this wedding cannot go above 100 guests.

He agreed to inviting them after the RSVP date provided space becomes available, but i really think most guests invited will RSVP yes. I explained to him that i want to show my parents my appreciation for all they have done for me, but he stats he would sooner give them their money back than invite these 8 guests.

We have had several arguments and i have shed many tears over this issue, but he will not budge. He thinks my parents are the AH because of the last minute attempt to change our guest list, and i think he is being the AH for being unreasonably stubborn. And perhaps I am the AH for not taking his side on this after all it was me who wanted the bigger venue. AITA?

This guest list drama is a classic case of boundaries versus gratitude. Dr. Gary Chapman, author of The 5 Love Languages, notes, “When financial gifts come with strings, they can strain relationships rather than strengthen them.” The bride’s parents’ generosity—$10,000, a wedding dress, and more—seems to carry an unspoken expectation of control, putting the couple in a tough spot.

The bride’s desire to please her parents reflects gratitude but risks sidelining her fiancé, who’s already compromised on the venue and guest count. A 2022 survey by The Knot found 54% of couples face parental pressure over wedding decisions, often tied to financial contributions. The fiancé’s refusal suggests frustration, possibly feeling his voice is drowned out.

Dr. Chapman’s advice—open, honest communication—fits here. The couple needs a united front, discussing compromises like inviting some guests or setting firm boundaries with parents. For couples in similar binds, experts suggest clear budgets and guest list agreements upfront.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

Reddit’s dishing out some spicy takes on this wedding guest saga, with a pinch of skepticism and humor. Here’s what the community had to say:

Corpuscular_Ocelot − Your husband didn't want a wedding of over 85 people, but compromised for the venue, right?. Now you are inviting more. So, how many other things has your boyfriend had to 'compromise' on i.e let you or your parents get their way?. Ask yourself, what was the wedding he wanted and where did he want it?. That will give you the answer on who the AH is in this story.

tinyd71 − '*He would sooner give them their money back than invite these 8 guests*'? What else is going on here? Is your fiancé upset about the venue/the increase in numbers from 85 to 100? Is he resentful of your parents' financial contribution(s)? Does he feel powerless about making wedding-related decisions?. 8 people seems an odd hill to choose to die on!. NTA for wanting to please/accommodate your parents.

Longjumping_Wave4066 − YTA Simply because I don't believe you for ONE SECOND that your fiance is losing his s**t over just 8 people. You're making him sound insane when I believe you're leaving kut crucial context.

NaryaGenesis − Guests other than family members are a two yes one no situation. He doesn’t want them there and only wants close people. That’s his choice and right. Your parents money doesn’t give them a right to guests.. YTA if you keep pushing this

Brianoc13 − YTA. If these guests are so important, why haven't they been mentioned earlier?

Ok_Play2364 − I feel sorry for your fiance. Your parents sound like they will control every aspect of your lives with their money

[Reddit User] − YTA. All the N T A votes are because you are the bride and those people think the wedding is only about you. In reality the wedding is for both people and the husband gets an equal say.

Obviously you are leaving stuff out and this post is biased towards you but context clues would leave me to believe that he is the only one who has to keep “compromising” and you think he is the bad guy after he kept giving in to your demands when he finally says no.

[Reddit User] − I think I know what’s going on. You say you’re “very spoiled.” He sees it and doesn’t like it. He thinks your parents need to back off and that you need to stop being mommy and daddy’s little princess. You and him need to have a serious discussion about this. He seems resentful and I don’t blame him.

East_Ask6402 − You keep pushing your fiancee into doing things he does not want to do. Honestly get over yourself before you don't have a wedding ato attend. YTA

Helpyjoe88 − INFO: what's this REALLY about? If he's just arbitrarily drawn a line at 100 and refuses for no valid reason to indulge your parents in one small thing after all the support they've given, he is just being stubborn and is TA... and you may want to reconsider marrying him in light of his behavior here. 

However, if this isn't just one thing, but the thousandth thing where he feels he was steamrollered and his desires ignored, nd hes finally chosen this as the point where he sats 'no more' - that's a very different situation.  And he should be reconsidering marrying you. So, which is it?  If you've argued about this, and have actually listened to him - and will be honest with yourself - then you'll know.

These Redditors are slicing through the drama, but do their opinions hold water? One thing’s clear: this guest list fight has folks rethinking family influence and compromise.

This tale of eight extra guests reveals how weddings can unearth deeper tensions about loyalty and control. The bride’s torn between her generous parents and her steadfast fiancé, leaving us to ponder: where’s the line between gratitude and giving in? Should she push for the guests or stand with her partner? What would you do in this wedding whirlwind? Drop your thoughts below and let’s keep the conversation flowing!

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