AITA for not showing up to my best friends girlfriends party and telling her to leave me alone?

A 27-year-old man skipped a game night hosted by his best friend’s girlfriend, Mollie, after saying “maybe” to attending, only to face a barrage of texts and calls pressuring him to show up. When he finally told her to “f off” and leave him alone, he sparked tension, especially since Mollie’s sister, Courtney, was left without a partner for the duo games. Now, he’s questioning if his harsh response crossed a line.

This tale of pushy matchmaking and clashing boundaries exposes the friction of unwanted expectations in friendships. Was the guy justified in shutting down Mollie’s persistence, or did his bluntness go too far? Let’s dive into the drama and see what Reddit had to say!

‘AITA for not showing up to my best friends girlfriends party and telling her to leave me alone?’

The situation began with the OP’s friendship with his roommate Derek and his girlfriend, Mollie:

This involves me (27M), my best friend Derek (27M) his girlfriend mollie (26F) and mollies sister Courtney (28F). Derek and mollie have been dating over a year. Derek and I...

I find her a little annoying but Derek loves her and I support him so I’m friends with her. She’s a really good person I will say and comes from...

Tensions arose when Derek asked about Courtney, and the OP’s response stirred trouble:

About a month ago Derek asked me what I thought about Courtney. I said she was hot and really down to earth and I’ve had good times whenever she goes...

But if she wanted to ever hangout or something casual she could have my number. Derek reported back to mollie and the last few weeks have been awkward. Mollie seems...

She said she didn’t like what I said about her sister. I said that her sister had been married before, was pregnant and got divorced. It was too much baggage...

The game night invitation became a flashpoint:

Last weekend mollie hosted a game night at Courtney’s house. She made a big to do about this game night and kept asking if I was gonna come. I told...

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I went out for a drink and then decided to stay home and watch a game. At 8pm mollie started texting me asking when I was coming. I started ignoring...

Derek started texting me too and I told him that I didn’t want to go over to Courtney’s for some couples game night and wanted to watch the game. He...

The situation escalated when Mollie wouldn’t let up:

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Mollie called me one last time on Derek’s phone. She sounded mad and was like telling me to come. I told her to f__k off and leave me alone. Derek...

As Courtney was the one without a partner and went and got my specific beers that I liked. I said that it wasn’t my fault, I never gave a yes...

This story is a classic case of boundary violations masked as friendly intentions. The OP made it clear he wasn’t interested in dating Courtney, yet Mollie’s persistent game night pressure and the setup-like duo games suggest she ignored his stance, likely pushing a matchmaking agenda. His “f off” was harsh but a reaction to her relentless texts and calls, which disrespected his space.

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Mollie’s behavior shows a lack of respect for the OP’s autonomy. Relationship expert Dr. John Gottman emphasizes, “Healthy relationships require mutual respect for boundaries, especially when someone clearly states their preferences”. Her standoffishness after the OP’s honest talk about Courtney’s “baggage” and her aggressive follow-up during game night indicate she prioritized her agenda over his comfort.

That said, the OP’s blunt outburst wasn’t the smoothest move. A firm but polite refusal earlier in the evening could have set a clearer boundary without burning bridges. His “maybe” response, while noncommittal, left room for Mollie to assume he’d show, and Derek’s role in relaying sensitive comments didn’t help de-escalate.

Moving forward, the OP should have a direct, private talk with Derek to clarify his disinterest in Courtney and ask Mollie to respect his boundaries. A brief apology for the harsh words could smooth things over without admitting fault for skipping the event. Both sides need to communicate openly to avoid further friendship friction.

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Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Reddit jumped into this drama with strong opinions, mostly siding with the OP while calling out Mollie’s pushiness and suggesting ways to handle it better. Here’s every comment, grouped by perspective!

Most backed the OP, slamming Mollie’s overreach:

ilp456 - “NTA (well, maybe a bit for your attitude about a woman being divorced but that’s not the issue.) The issue is…You never committed to attending and you said...

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ETA: Your friend was kind of an A H for telling his GF what you said regarding her sister. Even if GF begged him to ask you, he should have...

ETA 2: I don’t recall the original post mentioning pregnancy so OP may have edited that in for clarity.”

Alarmed_Listen5588 - “NTA, maybe drop by isn't a yes. Also, everyone gets all crazy if a guy doesn't accept a woman's ‘not interested’. Why is it any different when a...

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No is a complete sentence, and if your roommate gives you any grief, tell him that you are feeling way uncomfortable and he may have to start limiting the times...

KronkLaSworda - “Don't apologize. They called and texted too many times after you told them to stop. You weren't interested, and they needed to back off. Mollie owes you an...

moew4974 - “NTA. Courtney is interested in you and instead of putting on her big girl pants and speaking to you, she's playing this teenage ‘Do you like me’ game...

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You've already told Mollie that while you think she's fun and attractive, you're not interested. Now, she and Derek are trying to force something by putting you in close proximity.

I would address this with Derek first: ‘Look man, I get you're trying to make Mollie happy by helping her find someone for Courtney, but I am not interested. I've...

So, don't help her try to get me to come along on any other casual hangouts with you guys as a couple or our friendship is going to have problems’...

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demon803 - “NTA, you did not want to go, you never said you were going, I guess you could have flat out said no since you really did not want...

PeanutGallery10 - “NTA. They're matchmaking.”

JackedLilJill - “NTA Tell Mollie and Derek if the genders were reversed they’d be calling you a f__king creep. Tell them it stops or the friendship ends!”

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Able_Bet_1168 - “NTA They are pushing too much.”

GullibleNerd88 - “Sounds like they were trying to force a date. NTA. You already told them you weren’t interested. No means no. Hopefully they get it now, if not, you...

NGDGUnpunished - “NTA, except maybe for telling Mollie to f off. Maybe is not yes and they shouldn't have counted on you to show. From now on, get your plans...

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OldManJeepin - “NTA. ..You did not commit to anything, therefore no apology is needed. Sounds like Mollie wants to set you up with her sister and won't take no for...

Reddit User - “NTA if the roles were reversed you would get done for harassment, ignore them.”

Dry-Lake4777 - “NTA. Mollie is the a__hole here. She engineered everything due to her blind faith in her own judgement. And also she tried to manipulate and control you.”

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curious382 - “NTA It sounds as if they planned a double date without telling you. It is okay to decline dating someone for whatever reason. ‘It doesn't work for me’...

It sounds as if they've taken your reasons to not want to date the sister as ‘objections’ to be overcome, the attitude of a salesperson. In such cases, repeating your...

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They know your reasons. They don't respect your boundary. They were tricking you into a double date. Your consistency foiled their plan. They were counting on you to go along...

Some suggested a softer approach to avoid escalation:

A_EGeekMom - “Except for the fact that too many people jump to saying f__k off quickly, NTA. It sounds like Mollie was trying to play matchmaker for you and Courtney...

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It might be a nice gesture to apologize for the swearing. You don’t owe anyone an apology for not being there, but in the future it’s probably safer if you...

This game night gone wrong is a stark reminder of how pushing someone’s boundaries can backfire. The OP’s decision to skip the event and snap at Mollie was fueled by her relentless pressure, but his harsh words stirred the pot. Should he apologize for his outburst, or was Mollie out of line for ignoring his “no”? What’s your take on this matchmaking mess? Share your thoughts below!

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