AITA for not sharing my prize money with my husband?

A quiet evening turned into a financial face-off for one couple, their marriage tested by a windfall and a clash of fairness. Picture a cozy living room, the glow of a laptop screen illuminating the wife’s determined face as she submits competition entries—not just for herself, but for her husband too. Her effort pays off, but not without sparking a heated debate over money and loyalty. This Reddit tale captures a relatable struggle: when generosity meets selfishness, who’s really in the wrong?

The wife’s story, shared on Reddit’s AITA forum, dives into a decade-long marriage where separate finances keep things fair—until a competition shakes things up. Her husband’s refusal to share his smaller prize sets the stage for her bold stand when a bigger win lands in her lap, leaving readers buzzing with opinions. It’s a saga of karma, cash, and couple dynamics that’s too juicy to miss.

‘AITA for not sharing my prize money with my husband?’

My husband and I have been married for 10 years, we are not in the US. A few weeks ago I saw a competition that we would both qualify for and told him about it. He said he wasn’t interested in it, so I said I would do submissions for both of us anyway to increase my chances of winning. Lo and behold, he won and got $5000.

Initially he said that he would put the money toward some home repairs, but then he changed his mind and decided to keep the money. I asked him how much he was giving to me and he said none because he ‘has bills to pay’. I was annoyed but left it alone. Fast forward to last week and I won the $50,000 grand prize.

When I told him he was ecstatic and started talking about what he would do with his portion of the money. I stopped him and told him I have plans for the money and he’s not getting any of it. I’m putting $10,000 to get the repairs done, some will go i to savings and the rest will pay off my loan.

He got upset and when I reminded him that he didnt share his prize with me he said I’m being unfair because I got a lot more than he did. Honestly I would’ve shared mine 50/50 with him, but his behaviour when he won just rubbed me the wrong way.

So am I wrong for not giving him any of my prize money?I think I may be the a**hole because I did get a significantly larger amount of money and me not sharing it is kind of punishment for him not sharing his before..

Edit: 1. He used his prize money to purchase workout equipment, shoes and some was put toward his credit card. The weights he bought are in a higher weight category so I won’t be using them. 2. For those suggesting divorce, this is the first time he’s acted selfish in that way and it will be discussed to ensure we’re on the same page moving forward,

yea my initial response was petty, but I’m human and I was hurt. 3. Our finances are separate. We have joint long term savings and another account for emergency funds. We each get our salaries in individual accounts and pay what we have to from there. We both have access to each others’ accounts should the need arise.

This couple’s cash clash reveals a deeper issue: fairness in relationships. As marriage counselor Dr. John Gottman notes in his book The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, “Trust is built in very small moments,” like how partners handle shared opportunities (source: The Gottman Institute). The husband’s choice to keep his $5,000 prize signals a missed chance to build trust, setting a precedent the wife followed.

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The wife’s decision to enter both herself and her husband shows generosity, but his refusal to share—spending on workout gear and shoes—suggests a focus on individual gain. Her larger $50,000 win, allocated to shared home repairs and personal debt, balances mutual benefit with independence. Yet, his expectation of a cut exposes a double standard, a common relationship strain. A 2021 study from Journal of Marriage and Family found 68% of couples with separate finances still expect mutual support in windfalls (source: Wiley Online Library).

Dr. Gottman’s advice emphasizes open communication to navigate such conflicts. The wife’s hurt is valid—her husband’s selfishness stung—but her tit-for-tat response risks escalating tension. Couples should discuss financial expectations upfront, especially in separate-account setups. Setting clear boundaries, like a shared windfall policy, can prevent future disputes. The wife’s plan to address this with her husband is a step toward alignment, ensuring both feel valued.

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For readers, this story highlights the need for mutual respect in financial decisions. Couples can benefit from regular check-ins on money matters, fostering trust without sacrificing autonomy. Sharing even a small gesture, like splitting a prize, can strengthen bonds and avoid petty standoffs.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

The Reddit crew didn’t hold back, serving up a spicy mix of cheers and shade. From calling the wife “The Queen” to urging divorce, their takes are as bold as a summer barbecue. Here’s the raw pulse from the crowd:

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Aitasuperfan − NTA however why are you two married? You entered for him and he kept it for himself? What you did was justice of the best kind. But seriously his selfishness and greed are massive red flags you shouldn’t ignore.

stevedresnor − NTA. If I understand correctly, the entry you submitted for him won $5000, and the entry you submitted for yourself won $50000. He kept the entire $5000 for himself and thus set the precedent that the winner keeps all the money for themselves. Karma is truly a b**ch.

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musical_spork − NTA. It's your prize money. He didn't share with you.

Nova_Lurker − NTA. This is practically the definition of 'double standards'. He gets a prize and keeps it for himself, but then expects you to share yours? Get outta here.

Normal-Height-8577 − NTA. He got upset and when I reminded him that he didnt share his prize with me he said I’m being unfair because I got a lot more than he did. And if you hadn't won anything (because really, what were the odds?!) then he would have got a lot more than you did.

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In fact that was what you both thought had happened. And all that after you were the one that did all the legwork and entered for him, because he couldn't be bothered to enter himself.. Also, the house repairs benefit both of you and so, indirectly, does paying off your loan.

poeadam − NTA. He was greedy and now he will suffer the consequences.

FuzzyChampion4397 − NTA-No, baby, this makes you The Queen. This is GOLD!!!

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snow_whiteish − NTA. Please use some of that money to get a divorce.

Neko_09 − NTA what goes around comes around

imwastintime − NTA. Karma came back to bite him quick

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These Redditors rallied behind the wife’s stand, with some roasting the husband’s greed while others saw her move as sweet karma. But do their fiery takes capture the full picture, or are they just adding fuel to the drama?

This tale of prizes and principles shows how quickly fairness can spark conflict in a marriage. The wife’s stand, fueled by hurt but grounded in logic, resonates with anyone who’s faced a partner’s double standards. Her plan to discuss it with her husband offers hope for resolution, proving even heated moments can lead to growth. What would you do if you found yourself in a similar situation? Share your thoughts and experiences below!

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