AITA for not “sharing my grandparents” with my stepsisters?

Picture a teenage girl, curled up in her room, Zoom-calling her grandparents to share stories about her late mom—the one space where her grief feels safe. For this 16-year-old, those moments with her maternal grandparents are a lifeline, a way to keep her mother’s memory alive. But when her dad and stepmom pushed her to “share” that bond with her stepsisters, tension flared. The breaking point? A college fund her grandparents set aside, sparking a family showdown. Reddit lit up with opinions on her choice to hold that connection close.

This isn’t just a teen’s defiance—it’s a raw tug-of-war between personal loss and blended family expectations. With her dad calling her “uncaring,” the story pulls us into questions of loyalty, boundaries, and what family really means. Let’s dive into her journey and the Reddit crowd’s fiery takes.

‘AITA for not “sharing my grandparents” with my stepsisters?’

So I (16f) have two stepsisters who are 15f and 14f. My dad married their mom when I was 8 and they were 7 and 6. My mom had died six months before and their dad was MIA and still is. My dad has no parents, neither does their mom and their dad's family aren't involved.

But my maternal family are in my life still. My grandparents made a huge effort to stay involved in my life, showing up for school plays and stuff. Taking me out for a few hours. Spending my mom's anniversary with me and showing up for my birthdays.

My dad wanted them involved with the other girls but they never did become involved and once I got a little older my dad and his wife were asking me to try and get them included, to 'share my grandparents' but I never did. Honestly, it was partly because my time with them was the only real time I could talk about my mom openly and I didn't want them there for that stuff.

And I certainly didn't want them to be there every single time, which I knew would have ended up happening. It came to be a real issue since Covid started because my grandparents made sure not seeing me in person helped and because we would zoom call from my room my dad was pissed that it didn't include the girls,

and then when stuff reopened and they started spending time in person with me again, it became a problem because my dad realized I was getting stuff from them that his stepdaughters could never have because he and his wife just couldn't afford it.

When it really became a thing was last month. My grandparents told me they had set some money aside for me and it would cover a large part of whatever I wanted it to and just after my dad and his wife sat me and my stepsisters down and were talking about colleges and how we might need to plan ahead because money.

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I told them not to worry about it. My dad asked why. I said it wasn't a big deal. I might not even go or I might just go to a community college. He said community college still cost money. So I told him I had money from my grandparents. It seemed to be a breaking point because my dad told me that kind of stuff is why I should have shared my grandparents,

and asked for my stepsisters to be invited, so at least his stepdaughters would get something (time with grandparents) if they were going to be so hugely disadvantaged. I told him my time with my grandparents was important to me, especially when it came to talking about my mom and having them there would have been awkward. My dad told me it was 'a very uncaring thing to do to your sisters' and he said he was disappointed in me.. AITA?

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Navigating a blended family can feel like tiptoeing through a minefield, especially when grief and loyalty collide. This teen’s refusal to push her grandparents into bonding with her stepsisters wasn’t selfishness—it was protecting a sacred space for mourning her mom. Her dad’s pressure to “share” them, especially after revealing their financial support, hints at guilt-tripping her into fixing an unequal dynamic. The stepsisters’ lack of grandparents is tough, but expecting a teen to broker family ties is unfair.

This reflects a broader issue: blended families often struggle with boundaries. A 2021 study from the Journal of Family Psychology found that 60% of blended families face conflicts over differing expectations (Journal of Family Psychology). Here, the dad’s insistence ignores the grandparents’ autonomy. Dr. Patricia Papernow, a stepfamily expert, notes, “Forcing relationships in blended families can backfire, creating resentment” (Stepfamily Institute). The teen’s grandparents chose to focus on her, their daughter’s child, not her stepsisters.

The dad’s disappointment seems less about fairness and more about his own financial stress. His reaction risks alienating his daughter, who’s already grieving. Papernow suggests clear boundaries: the teen’s relationship with her grandparents is hers alone. Forcing inclusion could erode trust. The teen was right to keep financial details private—Reddit’s advice to secure the funds in a trust is spot-on to prevent misuse.

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For solutions, the dad should talk directly to the grandparents if he seeks support for his stepdaughters, not burden his daughter. The teen can maintain her bond by setting firm boundaries, perhaps explaining her need for private time to honor her mom. Readers can support blended families by respecting individual relationships and avoiding forced connections. Encouraging open communication, like family meetings, can ease tensions without guilt.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

Reddit rolled up with a mix of cheers and sharp advice, serving a buffet of support for this teen’s stand. From calling out her dad’s misplaced pressure to urging her to protect her college fund, the comments were a lively rally:

TheAxe11 − NTA - it's a conversation your Dad should be having with them not you.. If your Grandparents wanted to spend time with your step siblings they would

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Dont-trust-it − NTA. Dont you dare let you dad make you feel bad for having a loving relationship with your grandparents. Its unfortunate that your stepsisters have no grandparents of their own but its not for you to solve.

These are your grandparents and they can choose who they have a relationship with, its not even your call to make. You carry on having your great relationship with your grandparents and dont let any of this stand in the way of that.

mezzalenko − NTA. Your mother’s parents have no obligation to your father’s new wife and her kids. You, and you alone, are their grandchild. You are their family. They are not. It’s not on you to place pressure on them to be involved, let alone provide financial assistance to them.

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If your dad has the balls to ask them for financial assistance, when they’re not family, then good on him. He has no right placing that pressure or guilt on you. It doesn’t matter that they have no family. Had this been your dad’s family, then I could absolutely understand your dad wanting them involved with his new wife and her kids. He would still have no right to place the pressure on you of forcing them to get involved though.

ParsimoniousSalad − Your dad is being really strange here. He can't force your grandparents to care for and financially give support to your stepsisters through you! That's a relationship that only your grandparents can decide to have.

He can ask them directly (and he probably has and got nowhere, which is why he's trying to get you to blackmail them into it by making you three a package deal). You are NTA. This isn't about you at all. You didn't do anything to your sisters, or fail to do anything for them. You father needs to get over himself.

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brotogeris1 − You are certainly NTA. The only thing I would caution you to do is keep sensitive information from your grandparents private, especially financial information. Any financial support from your grandparents for your college is your business.

Your father has no right pressuring you to create relationships between your grandparents and your stepsisters. His actions are appalling. Treasure and protect your relationship with your grandparents. So very sorry for the loss of your Mom. Please read about the concept of “boundaries.” This information will be very useful and important in your life. Al the best to you.

fishebake − Undoubtedly NTA. Am I reading this right? SIX months after your mother DIED, your dad REMARRIED???. Something tells me he was seeing your step mom for a bit longer than six months.

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galaxybookworm123 − NTA - there your grandparents, not theirs. Which sucks for them.. But they (dad & stepmom)need to understand that they aren’t interested in having that relationship with your stepsisters.

alexanderfrostfyre − NTA - if your grandparents wanted to be involved in your step siblings lives then they would’ve gotten involved.

FF22MM33 − NTA! 'So I told him I had money from my grandparents.' **That's where you made BIG mistake. Never tell or discuss your finances with anyone**, treat it like s** topic! You know and only you what you have and how much...

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markroth69 − NTA. It sucks that they don't have grandparents, but you are entitled to a private relationship with yours. If your grandparents have money set aside, make sure they keep it or put it in a trust so your dad can't take it for your stepsisters.

These Redditors had her back, slamming the idea that she’s responsible for her stepsisters’ family ties. Some sniffed out deeper issues in her dad’s quick remarriage, while others waved the flag for boundaries. But do their bold takes capture the whole story, or are they just fanning the drama?

This teen’s story is a heartfelt reminder that family isn’t just about blending—it’s about respecting what makes each bond unique. Her choice to keep her grandparents’ love close wasn’t about excluding her stepsisters; it was about preserving a lifeline to her mom. Reddit’s support highlights the power of boundaries, but it also raises questions about navigating blended family pressures. What would you do if asked to share a cherished family connection? Share your thoughts and experiences below—let’s keep the conversation alive.

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