AITA for not returning to my childcare job because the mother fired me over a mistake?

In a sun-dappled backyard, a 19-year-old childcare worker brushes a shedding dog, hoping to ease its scratching and spruce up the house. The kids he cares for nap inside, and the single mom he works for is at her job. Thinking it’s a small act of care, he snaps a playful text about the pile of fur he’s collected. But hours later, his phone erupts with her furious voice, berating him for “harming” the dog and firing him on the spot.

Devastated after three months of bonding with her autistic kids, he quickly lands a new job. When the mom calls back, tearfully begging him to return, he stands firm, unwilling to face her wrath again. Now, with her texting his dad to intervene, guilt creeps in. Was he wrong to walk away? This Reddit tale unravels a clash of workplace respect and personal boundaries.

‘AITA for not returning to my childcare job because the mother fired me over a mistake?’

I (19 M) had a job taking care of two kids (2M, 3F), a dog, and doing light housework 4 days a week for a single mom who got my contact info from a business card I had posted in my dad's pediatric therapy office. Ever since the weather started getting warmer, the dog has been shedding like crazy.

Like, I would vacuum the couch and the next day it would look like I hadn't, I would lightly tug on the dog's hair and would pull out huge tufts, the dog's been scratching all the time, etc. My dad's dog has a double coat like theirs, and one morning when I was leaving for work I packed his brushing tool in my bag. When the kids were napping, I spent a full hour outside brushing the dog.

The dog seemed to enjoy being brushed, and after an hour there was a huge pile of hair that had been brushed out. Before I vacuumed it up, I sent the mom what I thought would be a funny text saying, 'Brushed a whole new dog out of \[Dog\]'s coat!' Looking back, I realize that maybe I should have asked first, but at the time it seemed like something that was within the scope of caring for the dog.

The mom went ballistic. She called me yelling, saying that by brushing the dog and not letting the hair fall out on its own I was causing harm to the dog. She said I was an i**ot and she can't believe she trusted me with her kids, and that today was my last day. I was extremely upset because I had been with the family for 3 months and she had never yelled at me like that before.

I left as soon as she got home because she was still fuming. I immediately lined up a job with another family and am supposed to start Monday. The mom who yelled at me called me two days later saying that she was sorry about the 'misunderstanding' and that firing me was an overreaction.

I told her I was no longer available and she started crying about how hard it was to find a new sitter for 'special needs' kids (her kids are autistic and have therapy at my dad's office). When I stood firm, she started texting my dad and asking him to do something.

My dad is annoyed at being dragged into this, and while he respects my decision he wishes I would keep watching her kids for a short time to 'keep the peace'. I hate that I put anyone in an awkward position, but I also don't want to work for someone like that. AITA?

ADVERTISEMENT

The mother’s explosive reaction to a well-intentioned act was disproportionate and unprofessional. Workplace psychologist Dr. Tessa West notes, “Verbal abuse from employers erodes trust and signals an unstable work environment” . The teen’s decision to prioritize his dignity over returning to a volatile job reflects healthy boundary-setting, especially at 19.

This highlights a broader issue: power dynamics in caregiving roles. A 2022 study in the Journal of Occupational Health Psychology found 47% of childcare workers face verbal aggression from parents . The mom’s attempt to leverage his dad’s influence further shows her disregard for his autonomy. Dr. West advises clear communication to resolve workplace conflicts. The teen might calmly reiterate his reasons for leaving to his dad, reinforcing his stance.

ADVERTISEMENT

For solutions, the teen could block the mom’s texts to protect his peace. His dad might redirect her to other sitters . Standing firm was right—respect is non-negotiable in any job.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Reddit rallied behind the teen, blasting the mom’s overreaction and cheering his resolve. From debunking her dog care myths to slamming her bullying, here’s what they said:

ADVERTISEMENT

RideThatBridge - NTA at all! Your dad is kind of lousy for putting this on you-he’s a therapist and he can’t see the instability of the mother and how it endangers you? I mean, if this is how she reacts to a completely normal thing to do with a dog, God forbid anything ever go wrong with one of the kids. You’re an adult and accusations against you could lead to legal problems. Stay far away from her.

PurpleMarsAlien - NTA First, brushing a dog who is blowing their coat does not hurt the dog, and the fact she thinks it does is kind of disturbing. Second, even if she believes it hurts the dog, it's something that most dog owners do.

So rather than simply telling you that she prefers not to have it done, she had a fit at a 19 year old babysitter. This is not a person you want to continue working for. I wouldn't want to go back and have her accuse me of things based on other crazy beliefs.

[Reddit User] - NTA, she fired you and now you have a new job. It's weird that she's going to your father now.

ADVERTISEMENT

ICWhatsNUrP - NTA. It wasn't a misunderstanding, she was abusive. Stand firm and don't go back, and shame on your dad for wanting to send you back for more to keep the peace. Don't reward her terrible behavior. Oh, and you didn't put anyone in an awkward position, her actions did.

Debbiesthrowaway - NTA. This is an important lesson for this woman. You can’t call your staff idiots and shout and then ask to take them back.

NotShockedFruitWeird - NTA. She lost a valuable employee over her reaction.. Plus, really, she never brushed the coat of her dog? What is up with that?

ADVERTISEMENT

Mindless_Ad_7700 - Just one thing... I saw that in a comment Op says 'maybe she was having a bad day?'. Yes, possibly. She is a single Mother to two autistic kids. Does that mean she can scream at you? No! Would your dad tolerate that you scream AT HIM after a bad day? Would he be ok if a bf screamed at you?.

No. Sometimes we allow bosses to do things NOONE else would be allowed. Just because they are paying. If this pandemic has shown people 1 thing, is that life is too short to accept this treatment at our jobs.

Notice too that this woman did not apologize to you. She JUSTIFIED her actions, and normalized them. She did not only 'overract'. She abused you.. And then, took your polite refusal to go back and try to FORCE you do so using your dad.. This woman has ZERO respect for you.

ADVERTISEMENT

Vickimae44 - Nta- brushing an animal doesn't hurt them. However, bigger than that is the way she talked to you. It was not okay and you did the right thing. You respected yourself enough not to let someone treat you like that, good job.

Ducky818 - NTA but she is. She overreacted, fired you, and is reaping the consequences. And she doubly sucks for trying to drag your dad into it. No need to 'keep the peace' with her. Move on to your new job and good luck.. BTW, I've never heard that brushing a dog's coat is bad for the dog.

No-Refrigerator-6023 - NTA- actions have consequences and this lady learned the hard way. Based on how hard it is to find childcare right now I can’t believe she fired you over something so stupid. Feel bad for her kids since I’m sure they had started to get attached to you. Don’t feel bad for a grown woman who screamed at a teenager and is now trying to use your dad to bully you back into working for her.

ADVERTISEMENT

These Reddit takes champion the teen’s stand, but do they miss the mom’s stress as a single parent?

This story of a fired sitter and a mom’s regret shows how quickly tempers can unravel trust. The teen’s refusal to return was a stand for self-respect, not spite. The mom’s outburst and pressure tactics cost her a reliable worker. How would you handle a boss who crossed the line? Drop your thoughts below!

Share this post
ADVERTISEMENT

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *