AITA for not giving back 7K from a vacation reimbursement so my brother can pay Vet bills from his Dog?

Family vacations are often a cherished time of bonding and shared experiences—but when money is involved, things can get complicated quickly. In this story, a detailed plan was set for a multi-generational vacation to Maui that included the OP’s family (a 40-year-old with his wife and two kids), his brother’s family (a 33-year-old with his wife and one child), and their parents.

The trip, scheduled for May 2025, turned out to be the most expensive any of them had ever taken. All shared costs, including a pricey VRBO booking and a special fishing trip with dad, were paid via the OP’s credit card and subsequently reimbursed in full by each party.

However, when tragedy struck—his brother’s beloved six-year-old Black Lab encountered a severe health crisis and ultimately passed—the situation quickly evolved. Amid the grief and mounting vet bills, the brother canceled his part of the trip and now demands a refund of his share, approximately $7K. This unexpected request has sparked a bitter dispute within the family.

‘AITA for not giving back 7K from a vacation reimbursement so my brother can pay Vet bills from his Dog?’

Financial disputes among family members over nonrefundable expenses require clear communication and a solid understanding of the commitments made by all parties involved. Family finance expert Dr. Susan Reynolds notes, “When payments are made for a group event under a nonrefundable policy, every participant must fully understand that cancelling later does not guarantee a refund.”

Dr. Reynolds explains that shared travel expenses are only recoverable if cancellation policies allow it, and when the booking is final, the loss must be borne by the person who cancels. In this case, the OP clearly organized and funded the vacation with the expectation that everyone would honor the commitment.

The brother’s decision to cancel after the trip was finalized—and after the funds had been disbursed—does not entitle him to a refund, according to standard nonrefundable policies. While the emotional distress caused by the loss of his dog is understandable, Dr. Reynolds emphasizes that personal tragedies do not alter financial commitments that have been contracted under strict cancellation rules. Therefore, though it may be painful, the decision not to refund the money aligns with sound financial practices.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

The overall sentiment among Reddit commenters is one of support for the OP’s stance. Many users point out that when a trip’s costs are nonrefundable, any cancellation will result in a loss that must be borne by the person opting out. Some commenters shared similar experiences where nonrefundable costs meant that canceled participants received no refund, regardless of personal circumstances.

Others noted that while it is unfortunate the brother is suffering emotionally and financially from his loss, the responsibility for a nonrefundable expense lies with the person who canceled. A few users suggested that the family might consider pooling resources or discussing a partial reimbursement if changes can be made to some excursions, but the majority agree that in this case, the rules are clear and the OP is not at fault.

In conclusion, this dispute over a nonrefundable vacation expense brings to light a challenging issue: how to balance financial responsibilities with unexpected personal crises. While the brother’s loss and the overwhelming vet bills are tragic, the fact remains that the shared travel costs were nonrefundable—a risk that was understood by all parties at the time of booking.

Do you believe that personal tragedy should alter the terms of a financial agreement? Or must everyone fully bear the risk of nonrefundable expenses, regardless of later events? Have you ever faced a similar situation where the letter of a financial commitment clashed with unexpected personal hardship? Share your thoughts and experiences, and join the discussion on where we draw the line between strict financial rules and compassion in family commitments.