AITA for not putting in more effort to dissuade the kid from eating very spicy food?

This story revolves around a situation where a 13-year-old girl, Emma, insisted on ordering the spiciest level of curry—despite clear warnings from you about its intensity. As part of your duty to entertain and guide her during her visit, you advised her repeatedly that ordering five chillies was a very bad idea. However, she dismissed your advice,

ultimately leading to an uncomfortable, teary-eyed reaction after her first bite. Later on, her father criticized you for not doing more to dissuade her, even though you had clearly warned her. This raises the question: are you the asshole for not putting in more effort to stop her from making a spicy food mistake?

‘AITA for not putting in more effort to dissuade the kid from eating very spicy food?’

Family and adolescent behavior experts agree that while guidance is crucial, teenagers often push back against warnings simply to test boundaries. Dr. Michael Adams, a youth psychologist, notes, “At 13, children are at a stage where they assert independence, often by ignoring advice, even when it’s in their best interest.”

He further explains that while it’s ideal for guardians to intervene more firmly, peer and parental influence can only go so far—especially when the individual involved is determined to assert their own will. In this case, your role was advisory rather than authoritative. You did what was reasonable by warning her about the dangers of too much spice,

and you even took immediate remedial action by ordering coconut water when things went wrong.For many experts, the responsibility ultimately falls on the parent to ensure that their child adheres to safety measures. Since you’re not her parent, your efforts, though well-intentioned, were inherently limited.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

Here are some hot takes from the Reddit community—candid and supportive. Many commenters agreed that you are NTA (not the asshole) because you provided clear warnings and took steps to mitigate the situation when Emma suffered from the spicy food. Several users pointed out that at 13, it’s common for kids to ignore sound advice,

and that you did your part by alerting her to the risks. Some even remarked that Emma’s father holds unrealistic expectations by expecting you to enforce what is ultimately a parental responsibility. The overall sentiment among the community is that you did everything reasonably possible under the circumstances.

In conclusion, this situation seems to reflect the classic teenage impulse to test limits, even in the face of well-meaning advice. While it’s natural to wish that Emma had listened, the responsibility for managing her behavior ultimately lies with her parents—not with you. Do you think that additional measures should have been taken, or was your role rightly limited?

Have you experienced similar situations where teenagers ignored good advice despite clear warnings? Share your thoughts and stories below—your perspective might help others understand the challenges of guiding young people without overstepping boundaries.