AITA for not picking up my phone on vacation and leaving my my tenant, her mom, and my mom to deal with the cops for a couple of hours?

Vacation is supposed to be a time of relaxation, not a crash course in unexpected property management. Our story begins when a landlord, who rents out his basement suite to a familiar face from his past, sets off on a much-needed getaway.

Before leaving, he dutifully deadbolts the door to the suite—only to later discover that his well-meaning but technologically challenged family members have triggered a security alarm. As his phone buzzes with alerts and his vacation mood is rudely interrupted, the unexpected chaos unfolds in a series of events that force him to balance responsibility with the desire to simply enjoy his time away.

The situation spirals when his mom, attempting to help by opening the door for the tenant’s mom, inadvertently sets off a cascade of events that culminate in a call from a resort concierge and a frantic conversation with the cops. With security on his property, a misinterpreted emergency, and family members scrambling to sort out the mess, our landlord finds himself questioning whether his decision to disconnect on vacation has made him the A-hole in this bizarre mix-up.

‘AITA for not picking up my phone on vacation and leaving my my tenant, her mom, and my mom to deal with the cops for a couple of hours?’

Expert etiquette advisor Judith Martin (Miss Manners) underscores that clear, proactive communication is essential, particularly when modern security systems and family dynamics collide. She explains that when planning to disconnect—such as going on vacation—it’s crucial to leave detailed instructions for emergency access. Without these clear guidelines, even well-intentioned actions can inadvertently trigger a cascade of misunderstandings and unnecessary stress.

Miss Manners points out that the landlord’s decision to switch his phone to airplane mode, while understandable as a means to enjoy his break, became problematic because he didn’t provide a temporary code or backup contact for his family. This oversight led to a chaotic situation where his family members were left scrambling to resolve an alarm-induced emergency.

According to her, setting explicit expectations and contingencies not only protects your property but also preserves family harmony by preventing avoidable crises. Moreover, experts in property management highlight that when renting out a space—even informally—it’s important to account for potential scenarios where technology might fail or where family members might not fully grasp modern procedures.

By taking a few extra minutes to communicate your vacation plans and providing clear instructions for accessing your property, you can avoid miscommunications that may lead to unnecessary involvement of security personnel or law enforcement. Ultimately, while disconnecting to recharge is vital, ensuring that everyone involved understands the plan can save a great deal of stress and help maintain a positive balance between personal downtime and ongoing responsibilities.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Here are some hot takes from the Reddit community—candid, humorous, and unabashed. Redditors are split on this one: many empathize with the landlord’s right to enjoy his vacation and point out that the miscommunication was largely on the part of his family, while others argue that as the property owner, he should have been more reachable.

Some humorously noted that his phone should have been the VIP of his vacation, while others questioned the lack of a simple temporary code. These are popular opinions on Reddit, but do they really capture the full complexity of this security mishap?

In conclusion, this incident serves as a modern parable about the pitfalls of disconnection in a hyper-connected world. The landlord’s decision to prioritize his vacation may have inadvertently left his family to deal with an unnecessary security scare.

But does the responsibility lie solely with him, or does the failure to communicate effectively among all parties play a bigger role? What would you do if you found yourself in a similar situation—balancing your need to unplug with your responsibilities? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below, and let’s explore how to better navigate these digital-age dilemmas.