AITA for not picking up my dad from the airport at 1am on a Monday?

In the quiet hours of a typical Monday night, tensions rose over a seemingly simple request that turned into a family showdown. A father, known for his ultra-budget travel habits, booked a flight that landed at an inconvenient hour, prompting an unexpected favor request. With work looming early the next morning and sleep being precious, the request struck a nerve in the balance between familial love and self-care.

The scene is set in a relatable domestic backdrop where practicality meets personal sacrifice. The OP, juggling responsibilities and the need for rest, opts for a rational solution rather than a late-night road trip. This choice, though it left some unresolved family emotions, sparked a vibrant discussion online about the true cost of saving money at the expense of one’s well-being.

‘AITA for not picking up my dad from the airport at 1am on a Monday?’

My dad is the type of person to schedule travel at the most inconvenient times to save the couple extra bucks you get from flying early or ungodly late. I appreciate his thriftiness (and apply some of it myself) but often he asks favors of others to support him in meeting these crazy times.

Last week he asked his partner’s father to bring him to the airport for a 6am flight. He knew he’d be back at 1am the following week and asked if I’d pick him up. He lives an hour away from the airport and his house is an hour from mine - so I’d be home around 3am if I obliged. I told him I work at 8am so to schedule himself an Uber and I’d just pay for it as a gift.

Well he landed, he had trouble with the Uber app and ended up having to book himself a more expensive last minute ride. Today he told me it was a nightmare when he landed and he would have just asked a friend to pick him up and that he was frustrated with me for not “being conventional” by picking him up.. AITA here?

Letting someone lean on you in times of need can feel like an act of love, yet this story clearly underlines that personal boundaries are essential. The decision to not pick up a family member at an inconvenient hour highlights the importance of self-care, especially when practical constraints like work and sleep come into play.

The OP’s situation illustrates how saving money through budget travel can carry hidden costs—namely, the burden placed on others. When a flight is booked at an odd hour, it inevitably disrupts regular schedules and places unreasonable expectations on family members, prompting a necessary conversation about fairness and mutual respect within personal relationships.

As relationship expert Esther Perel insightfully states, “The essence of a healthy relationship lies in mutual care and respecting each other’s limits.” This quote resonates here, emphasizing that while gestures of assistance are appreciated, they must never come at the expense of one’s well-being. Establishing and honoring boundaries is a fundamental aspect of sustaining balanced and respectful familial ties.

Moving forward, a focus on open communication and pre-planning can help avoid such inconvenient scenarios. Encouraging proactive discussions about travel arrangements and mutually acceptable schedules can relieve stress and ensure that favor exchanges are fair. This balanced approach not only protects personal time but also nurtures a relationship built on realistic expectations and mutual support.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Across Reddit, the prevailing sentiment is that family favors have their limits. Many users agree that while support is valuable, expecting someone to handle a favor at an inconvenient hour—especially when it disrupts sleep and daily responsibilities—is simply unreasonable. The idea is that planning travel around convenient times for everyone involved is a shared responsibility, and no one should be burdened with extra inconvenience just to save a few bucks.

The consensus reflects a thoughtful balance between being helpful and maintaining personal boundaries. Users commonly stress that clear communication and prior planning can avert these scenarios, ensuring that while family support remains strong, it doesn’t come at the cost of personal well-being or work obligations. This perspective encourages mutual respect and emphasizes that frugality should not override practicality or common courtesy.

DinaFelice −

So let me be clear: I am unavailable for middle-of-the-night trips and you should make your plans accordingly.

Frankly, given how far your father lives from you, I would be disinclined to give him rides even at more convenient times. If there is a convenient place for him to park his car near your place, I might be willing to drive him there and leave it to him to get the rest of the way home.

Affectionate_Pay7395 − NTA he’s a grown man who should be able to organise his own travel. Before he’d even gone on his trip he could have organised for a taxi to pick him up from the airport for getting back.

owls_and_cardinals − NTA. It's really not ok for your father to make budget-minded decisions that actually just put a huge burden on someone else. What is your middle-of-the-night hourly rate? It's really selfish and dismissive of him to think it's ok to inconvenience someone else, so severely in fact, to save whatever he saved on the cheap flight.

His responsibility is to consider the costs fully, including for instance the increased cost of a ride share, not to force that cost onto someone else.. If he wants you to be conventional he needs to fly home at conventional times.

ElGato6666 − NTA. I have a friend who prides himself on being frugal. It's a MASSIVE part of his personality. But one of the ways that he saves money is by having other people do things for him for free.

Like, he'll save $30 flying out of San Jose and San Francisco, but then he'll get one of us to drive him two hours to San Jose. It's a running joke, but we've all learned to tell him NO if his asks are too much.

Ehrlichs-Reagent − Oh definitely NTA. Asking someone to come pick you up at the airport an hour away then drive another 2 hours to get back is crazy. At 1 am, extra crazy. At 1 am when you work at 8 am? Batshit.

It's major AH move to schedule weird times if you're just making loved ones be tremendously inconvenienced to subsidize your cheapness. If anything you did yourself a favor by making it a nightmare for him though. Maybe he'll think twice before he asks you for outlandish requests again, so he can save a few bucks, and indeed ask the friend instead.

I hate to be the AH in my response, but I must admit there's a certain amount of schadenfreude that comes with knowing your dad paid a bunch of extra money and had a rough night instead of taking a more conventional flight, while attempting to be an AH and burdening others to save a buck.

WilliamTindale8 − “Dad, I’m frustrated with you expecting me to go work with no sleep so you can enjoy a cheap holiday. Count me out in future from helping with your cheap holiday plans.”

Always_travelin − NTA. Even if Uber wasn’t working properly, that’s his problem to sort out after he chose to book a 1 AM arrival.

PassComprehensive425 − NTA- I used to be the family shuttle service. My cousins would brag how much cheaper one airport was. Except it wasn't. It was in a neighboring country it took a couple of hours to get there and I had to cross a border which could be 15 minutes or hours on a bad day.

Finally I said no to that airport. They would have to figure it out if they chose to fly in there. Once they figured in the additional travel costs, guess what wasn't cheaper anymore?

SmartassMouth89 − This isn’t being thrifty it’s just simply being cheap and entitled. The flights are cheaper but the ways to get to or from airport at those times are not cheap. unless your willing to drive yourself and pay for the parking.

His whole saving money s**t hinges on demands from friends and family to “donate” their time, gas and car. If he’s asking you to drive him start saying ok my price x. The more inconvenient it is the higher the price.

Cntrlc-Cntrlv − My dad is incredibly generous with his time and is generally viewed as an altruistic person so I think the struggle for him is reconciling what he’d do for others (he would 100% pick someone up at 1am) vs what’s a reasonable threshold for inconvenience

In conclusion, the story of a 1 AM airport pickup request forces us to reflect on the fine line between frugality and personal sacrifice. It challenges us to consider when it’s acceptable to say no, despite the emotional pull of family ties. Have you ever faced a similar dilemma where practicality clashed with family expectations?

What would you do if you found yourself in a similar situation? Share your thoughts and experiences, and let’s discuss how to balance saving money with the need to prioritize our personal well-being.

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