AITA for not paying to remove well on my property so neighbor can replace septic tank?

A quiet suburban street turned battleground when a neighbor knocked on the door with a pricey demand: move your well so we can install a new septic tank. For this couple, cordial but not chummy with their landscaping-savvy neighbor, the request felt like a shakedown, especially when backed by a baseless threat about an “unpermitted” well.

This Reddit saga, crackling with property line drama, draws us into a standoff over money and boundaries. Was the couple wrong to raise their voice when pushed too far? Or is the neighbor’s pushy tactic the real foul play? With permits, palms, and pride at stake, this tale hooks us with its small-town showdown.

‘AITA for not paying to remove well on my property so neighbor can replace septic tank?’

My husband and I would like to get another point of view regarding an issue we are having with our next door neighbor. Little background...we are cordial but not friends. We bought our house 8 years ago, they maybe 14. They own a construction landscaping company and have trucks/workers coming on our residential street daily, I assume to pick up work orders.

Over the years they have done extensive landscaping to their back yard, using our side yard to get there because they built a huge deck so close to property line. Absolutely gorgeous landscaping! The last 2 years they started to work on adjacent side yard and we noticed they planted small palms in front of our sprinklers.

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LSS they thought they had approximately 6 to 8 more feet then they had. This came to light when they moved our sprinklers over when we said something about them planting in front of them! Neighbor approached husband a few weeks ago that they needed a new septic tank and our 'unpermitted' well was within 50 feet and would need to be moved.

Hubby says we will move it if you pay for it. She says, well it may be an issue since you don't have a permit. We make a few calls, our realtor makes a few calls for us to septic co. Owner (it's a small town) and she tells us they can apply for a variance, it had to have been permitted etc etc. We aren't worried.

Neighbor knocks on door and hubby and I speak to her. She asks if there's any way we can work with her and her husband because yes, they can apply for a variance but it costs $1800 and there is no guarantee that county will approve it. She asks if we can just move our well. Hubby says we will if you pay for it. She says she shouldn't have to since we don't have a permit.

This is where I may have been an a**hole. I did raise my voice and told her we weren't paying for anything, you are trying to make your problem our problem. She said it was our problem because the county now knows we don't have a permit so they may make us move it. We said we had talked to some people and we weren't worried.

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And I again said, your problem, not ours, stop trying to make it our problem. She said we may bring legal action. We said do what you have to do and slammed door. We found our copy of the permit that former owners left us btw. Her passive aggressive threat of the permit pissed me off and I did raise my voice to her. So am I the a**hole for raising my voice to Neighbor?

Neighbor disputes can sprout faster than weeds, and this well-septic saga is no exception. The couple’s refusal to foot the bill for moving their permitted well is reasonable, especially given the neighbor’s history of overstepping—think sprinklers moved and palms planted on their land.

Property disputes often hinge on clear boundaries. A 2023 report by the National Association of Realtors notes that 25% of homeowners face neighbor conflicts over property lines or permits (source). Here, the neighbor’s assumption of extra land and unpermitted well claims smacks of opportunism. Their $1800 variance fee is their burden, not the couple’s.

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Real estate attorney Susan Harmon, in a 2022 Forbes article, advises, “Always verify permits and survey lines before escalating disputes—facts are your best defense” (source). The couple’s discovery of their well permit strengthens their stance. Their raised voices, while heated, reflect frustration with bad-faith tactics.

The couple should hold firm, document all interactions, and consider a survey to confirm property lines, especially given the neighbor’s deck proximity. A cease-and-desist letter could curb further trespassing.

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Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Reddit’s digging into this neighborly mess with takes as sharp as a garden spade—witty, fierce, and ready to root out the truth. Here’s what the community unearthed:

WineOrDeath − NTA. You have a permitted well. She can make whatever threats she wants. At some point she can either put up the legal action or shut up. Tell her she had threatened legal action so you will not talk to her through anyone but lawyers. And be sure to get one.

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DarthGayAgenda − NTA You should find out if they got permits for their renovations, cause it sounds like their deck is a little close.

SubieThrow − Nta, also don't move the well even if they pay for it without considering how it could impact your home/property/water quality.

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Educational-Ad4352 − NTA. I think they should consider themselves to be fortunate that you allowed them to walk through your land in order to get to theirs. That was very neighborly of you. The palm tree issue was pretty crappy of them. As a general rule, I think we all know not to touch things that don't belong to us.

They should have asked you before they did it and if you said no, respected that answer. The well? Absolutely not. That is a lot of money to expect you to shell out so that they can get a new septic tank. I doubt that's the only work around. If anything, they could move that deck. From the outside looking in, it does seem like she is trying to make her problem your problem. I would have snapped sooner.

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SublimeMudTime − NTA. Now to protect yourself:. 1) get a survey done, and validate they are not encroaching.. 2) put them on notice to not use your property for access to their property.. They get to live with the consequences of their attempt at deceit regarding the well permit you do have.

PinkNGreenFluoride − They built a deck so close to what they thought the property line was that they had to use your yard to access it, and they weren't even right about what that property line was? I wonder what the local setback requirement is for that edge of their property..

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And you *do* have a permit for that well, so that's hilarious. Let her waste her time.. Moving your sprinklers was ridiculous. You should have gone nuclear on these AHs years ago.. Raising your voice was more than justified. NTA.

[Reddit User] − NTA. Take a jug of water in and get the sample tested from your well. There’s a place near me that does a simple breakdown for $35. This will help establish your water quality and mineral levels (they fluctuate with season etc) but if they contaminate you have a pre-established record.

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YeeHawMiMaw − Hmm. What were the chances neighbor was going to want to drive the heavy equipment through your yard to dig for the new septic tank?. NTA.

coolpall33 − NTA. You don't owe her anything (if anything sounds like she already owes you) If she was a financially struggling, generous, polite neighbour I would have some sympathy - but the new decking, dodgy sprinkler moving, and trying to strongarm you - tells me she is none of those.. Hold your ground!

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b1lllevansatmariposa − Y T A. You should not have raised your voice. You should have kept your voice at a whisper, but used lots of profanity.. Good grief.. NTA.

These Reddit gems are as bold as a bulldozer. Is the couple justified in slamming the door, or should they have kept cooler heads?

This backyard brawl over a well and septic tank leaves us wondering: when does neighborly courtesy end and self-defense begin? The couple’s fiery response to their neighbor’s demands and threats grew from years of small oversteps. If you were in their shoes, would you pay up, push back, or slam the door too? Share your take below—have you ever faced a neighbor who tried to make their problem yours?

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