AITA for not paying the babysitter what she demanded?

Picture a cozy suburban home, the late afternoon sun casting golden rays through the living room window, where a cheerful 3-year-old plays with his favorite toy truck. His mother, a busy 31-year-old professional, is caught in a work emergency, her phone buzzing with urgency as the clock ticks past her promised return time. The babysitter, a trusted daycare provider, waits patiently, her own evening plans teetering on the edge. This seemingly simple babysitting arrangement spirals into a heated debate over fairness, time, and a mere $7, sparking a fiery discussion online.

The situation feels like a classic clash of expectations, where a small misunderstanding balloons into a moral dilemma. Readers are left wondering: is it fair to stick to a flat fee when life throws a curveball, or does an extra 45 minutes deserve extra pay? The original poster (OP) stands firm, but her husband and mother disagree, and the Reddit community isn’t holding back. Let’s dive into the story and unpack the drama.

‘AITA for not paying the babysitter what she demanded?’

I (31F) have one son, 3M. He’s very sweet, calm, low-maintenance, and a great kid. I lucked out with him. We asked one of his daycare providers, B, to watch him for 5 hours, from 1-6 since I had to work.

B knows he’s an easy kid and she knows him well, so she went with a lower charge, and we agreed on $50 for the whole time. It wasn’t discussed in terms of hours, rather we agreed that $50 for the time she was there was sufficient.

Well, there ended up being a situation at work that prevented me from getting home at 6, so I wasn’t able to relieve her until around 6:45. My husband works from 11 AM to 8 PM, so him relieving her was out of the question.

When I got there, she seem to be in a hurry to get out of the house. I understand that I was late, but as a person who works with kids and their parents, she is well aware that things come up. I handed her a $50 bill and she thanked me, but asked for $7 more.

I told her that she got the 50 she agreed on, but she said that since I was 45 mins late and I was paying her $10 an hour, she had earned $7 more for an extra 45 mins. I told her that’s not what we agreed on.

We agreed on $50, and it shouldn’t matter that I was late because we didn’t discuss it in terms of hours. She argued that I agreed I would be home at six and didn’t adhere to that either, but it’s an entirely different story.

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I ended up only giving her $50 and showing her out of the house. I’ll admit that she did a great job with my son. But in my opinion she had no right to ask for more. My husband and mother both think that I was being an a**hole. I don’t agree. AITA?

This babysitting snafu is less about dollars and more about respect for time. The OP sees $50 as a done deal, while B views the extra 45 minutes as uncompensated labor. It’s a classic standoff: rigid agreement versus real-world flexibility. The OP’s insistence on the original terms feels like a power move, while B’s modest $7 request seems reasonable for her extended commitment.

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This scenario reflects a broader issue: the undervaluation of childcare work. According to a 2023 Care.com report, the average babysitting rate in the U.S. is $18-$22 per hour, far above the $10 hourly rate B’s request implies. Childcare providers often face unpredictable schedules, yet their time is rarely valued commensurately.

Dr. Jane Nelson, a family dynamics expert, notes, “Clear communication about expectations, including contingencies for delays, is crucial in caregiving arrangements”. Here, the OP’s failure to notify B about the delay or apologize exacerbated the tension. Dr. Nelson’s insight suggests that proactive communication could have turned this clash into a compromise.

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For solutions, the OP could offer a small overtime payment or a gesture like a tip to acknowledge B’s inconvenience. Moving forward, setting clear terms for potential delays—like an hourly rate for extra time—can prevent such disputes.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

The Reddit community didn’t hold back, serving up a mix of candor and wit. Here are some of their spicier takes:

alalal982 − YTA. You were late. People deserve to be paid for their time. If you were asked to work overtime at a job, wouldn't you expect to be paid? It doesn't matter what a little angel your son is. Pay people for their time. Edit; also your username is laughable considering you're the one that thinks you're entitled to not pay a babysitter for your poor time management.

ADawg28 − YTA. She did you a favor. And she didn’t take much payment for it, $50 for that amount of time is less than minimum wage. Also think of it this way: Your kid should be one of the most important things in your life, right? So why is his wellbeing while you’re gone worth so little to you?

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totesnotanalien − YTA I was N-A-H up until your last comment. She absolutely had the right to ask you for more money, you were late! $7 isn’t even that much more but I would’ve given her $60 right of the bat for inconveniencing her.

Snausagefestivus − **YTA**, wow and how.. 1) Do you want to die on a hill made up of seven $1 bills?. 2) You said you'd be home at 6, you were home at 6:45pm— she deserves overtime.. 3) Also, what about a tip?. 4)

'We asked one of his daycare providers, B, to watch him...B knows he’s an easy kid and she knows him well, so she went with a lower charge' This is a bit of a repeat from #1,

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but for emphasis, please read the above back to yourself as many times as necessary for it to sink in that someone who regularly takes care of your child was already giving you a break on her time

and talents—and you decided to fight her over SEVEN dollars. Wtf?? (Yes, watching children is a talent, especially for one who does it professionally. Daycare providers are heroes without the capes.)

[Reddit User] − YTA and your husband is so awesome for giving her an extra $50! He sounds like a really nice guy. He must be so embarrassed by your behavior.

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CashieBashie − YTA you agreed upon 1-6pm. YOU didn’t make your end of the deal so she’s well within her means to request compensation for the extra time she waited. She’s not doing you a favor watching your kid. It’s her job.

gordonf23 − I hope you’re a troll, bc this one is painfully clear that YTA. Craaaaazy.

10anon95 − YTA and you sound SO entitled. If you’re going to hire someone to watch your precious child, you should be paying them more. I made $10 an hour babysitting when I was 15 years old!

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An adult, who is a professional by the way, should be paid way more. You’re lucky she agreed to $50. In addition, you did not show up on time. You can’t try to justify it as “she is a person who works with parents and kids and knows that things come up.”

She is an adult human being with other commitments, responsibilities, and a life of her own. You should have paid her for the additional time she worked. You should also gather some more respect for babysitters and daycare workers in general.

sqitten − YTA Super a**hole. She asked for far less than she deserved, since you messed up her schedule for the day and she had a right to a lot more extra for that, and you didn't even want to pay her for her work? And you had the audacity to say it wasn't what you two agreed on when you broke that agreement first?

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DrunkmeAmidala − INFO: Did you call or text her to let her know you would be late or did you just waltz in the door forty five minutes after she thought you would be home? Did you apologize for being late? Yeah, stuff happens but other people have lives and obligations. Its very possible she needed to be somewhere else by 6:30 or 7 and now she herself is running late.

These are popular opinions on Reddit, but do they reflect reality? It seems the community’s rallying cry is “pay for the time,” with a side of shade for the OP’s stance. One user even praised the husband’s rumored $50 tip—talk about stealing the show!

This babysitting saga shows how quickly a small oversight can spark big drama. The OP’s firm stance on the $50 deal clashed with B’s reasonable request, leaving us pondering fairness and flexibility. It’s a reminder that childcare isn’t just a service—it’s a trust that deserves respect. What would you do if you were in the OP’s shoes? Would you pay the extra $7, or stick to the original deal? Share your thoughts and experiences below—we’d love to hear your take!

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