AITA for not paying my kids to help out at our family business?

A small business owner requires their 10- and 12-year-old children to assist after school with basic tasks like stacking, sorting, and light cleaning. The parent views this as a natural family contribution and refuses to pay them, believing children should help without compensation.

What makes the story more complicated is that the kids recently learned friends earn minimum wage for similar work in their own family businesses. Now the children demand payment, the once-enjoyable time together has turned tense, and the parent worries about appearing stubborn while standing firm on principle. This everyday family dynamic quickly sparks debate about fairness, labor, and changing times.

‘AITA for not paying my kids to help out at our family business?’

The family runs a small business together, with the kids pitching in after school without pay.

I own a small business and my kids (10 and 12) help me with the business after school.. I don’t pay them, because we’re all members of the family who...

The situation changed when the children discovered their friends earn money for similar help.

They met some other kids who work at their family’s business and apparently those kids are making minimum wage, so now my kids are starting to demand I pay them.

They do pretty minimal tasks, nothing difficult, stacking and sorting, logging things into a spreadsheet, light cleaning, answering the phone.

They’re really pushing for me to pay them now and aren’t having nearly as much fun as we used to working together since they found out their friends are being...

The parent feels conflicted between tradition, fairness, and avoiding a bad precedent.

I feel bad that they’re not enjoying themselves as much anymore, but feel it’s absurd for me to be expected to pay them. They’re my kids and this is their...

Plus, I never want to reverse a parenting decision because “that’s how my friends do it at their house” it sets a bad precedent. But I’m starting to really get...

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and if their friends are getting paid times might have just changed since I was younger working at my family’s business. Am I the a__hole for not paying them?

This situation highlights a common tension between traditional family values and modern expectations around children’s labor and compensation. The parent sees unpaid help as teaching responsibility and family unity, a view rooted in past generations where contributing to the household or family enterprise was standard without financial reward. However, today’s environment emphasizes fairness and the value of work, especially when children observe peers being paid.

Opposing views focus on the practical reality that the children are performing genuine tasks that benefit the business financially. By refusing payment, the parent risks sending the message that their time and effort hold no monetary value simply because of the family relationship. This can breed resentment, as seen in the shift from enjoyment to reluctance. Additionally, legal concerns arise—child labor laws often restrict work for children under 14, and requiring regular help without compensation could border on exploitation, even within a family setting.

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From a broader social perspective, evolving norms reflect greater awareness of children’s rights and autonomy. While family contributions like chores at home remain unpaid, tasks directly tied to a profit-making business blur the line. Paying a modest amount acknowledges the children’s sacrifice of free time and reinforces that all work deserves recognition, potentially preserving the positive bonding experience the parent originally valued.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Many users sided firmly against the parent, stressing that work deserves payment regardless of family ties.

beaglerules − YTA, plus what you are doing is illegal in a couple of ways. One child labor laws, they are too young to be doing office work.

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Two you have to pay people who work for you. Being your child does not make them free labor for your business.

The_Real_Scrotus − YTA. If they're working, you should be paying them. Presumably you're paying yourself, or profiting off of the work you're doing for the business in some way,

so why shouldn't they? Sticking to your guns just to be consistent when you're obviously in the wrong is bad parenting.

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Ieatalot2004 − YTA. You cannot justify this under "Family should help one another". That is a classic entitled-parent trick.

They are helping you out, when they could be playing outside. You dont have to pay them much, you could just give them something like $2 an hour? They give...

Dszquphsbnt − pretty minimal tasks, nothing difficult, stacking and sorting, logging things into a spreadsheet, light cleaning, answering the phone. This sounds like more work than my first job out...

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Some commenters offered more balanced takes, acknowledging differences in frequency while leaning toward compensation.

cocoaqueen − YTA. Why should you get to not pay them just because they’re children? And do they get a say in helping or is it expected they give up...

NoPracticalAttitude − During my school time I have helped in my dad’s business a few times, because I offered, when there was a need to be filled.

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That I did for free. I also worked during holidays, then he was paying me. Not really much (~6$) but I was rewarded for what I did.

So if your kids only help out every other 2 months I’d say you’re in the clear. Your post sounds more like they help on a very regular basis. And...

agarthel − YTA You should at least pay them a little. They don't "need" to help you out, it is not their business, and you get paid too don't you?

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A couple of reactions brought sarcasm and humor to highlight the absurdity felt by many.

[Reddit User] − YTA You're teaching them that their labor should be free and setting a bad example. The least you could do is put wages toward a college fund.

CrescentDarling − Yay. Kids just love forced child labor. Pretty sure it's against the law even if they're your kids.

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[Reddit User] − You feel it's absurd to be expected to PAY YOUR EMPLOYEES? ! Jesus christ YTA

In the end, the parent’s refusal to pay stems from a belief in family duty, yet the community largely views the regular help as work deserving compensation, with concerns about fairness and even legality. The shift in the children’s attitude underscores how expectations can strain relationships when unaddressed.

What do you think—should children always help in a family business for free to build character, or does paying them teach better lessons about the value of work? Have you experienced something similar in your family, and how did you handle it?

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