AITA for not paying my friend back for something I never asked for?

Picture a lively mall, buzzing with shoppers, where a quick stop at a skincare booth turns into an unexpected friendship snag. A woman, just enjoying a free hand scrub, steps back as her friend dives deep into the sales pitch. Out of the blue, her friend buys her a $35 scrub, calling it “no big deal”—only to demand repayment a week later. Confusion and accusations fly, leaving Reddit to untangle the mess.

The woman’s clear refusal to buy anything herself clashes with her friend’s assumption she’d chip in, sparking a debate over gifts, boundaries, and unspoken expectations. Was she wrong to hold her ground, or did her friend’s surprise purchase cross a line? Let’s dive into this sticky situation that’s got everyone talking about what a gift really means.

‘AITA for not paying my friend back for something I never asked for?’

This happened like a week ago and it’s still awkward. My friend and I were at the mall just walking around and we stopped by one of those little skincare booths. The lady was doing free hand scrubs or whatever, and I was just standing there letting her try it on me because it smelled nice. The friend was super into it though, asking a million questions.

I said I wasn’t buying anything and even stepped away a little, but while I was looking at a display, the friend ended up buying two of the scrubs. They were like $35 each. Cool, whatever. But then as we were leaving she handed me one and was like, “Here, I got one for you too.” I literally said, “Wait what? Why?” and she just shrugged and went, “I know you liked it, it’s no big deal.”

I said thanks but also told her she didn’t have to do that. Now fast forward to yesterday, she texts me like, “Hey can you send me $35 for that scrub when you get a chance?” I was confused and said, “I thought you were treating me,” and she goes, “Well I didn’t think I’d have to pay for both. I assumed you’d Zelle me later. ” Ummm what?? I didn’t ask for it. I didn’t agree to it. And she literally said “it’s no big deal.”

I told her nicely that I’m not paying for something I didn’t want in the first place. Now she’s acting like I’m taking advantage of her and says she wouldn’t have bought it if she knew I wouldn’t pay her back. So now I feel weird. I didn’t want it. I didn’t ask. But I also don’t want to seem ungrateful.. AITA?

This mall mishap is a classic case of miscommunication brewing trouble in a friendship. The woman’s upfront stance—no purchase needed—set a clear boundary, but her friend’s unsolicited gift, followed by a demand for cash, flipped the script into an awkward power play. The friend’s claim of “no big deal” masked an expectation that wasn’t voiced, landing them both in hot water.

Dr. Irene Levine, a friendship expert and author of Best Friends Forever, notes, “Assumptions in friendships can be as damaging as outright conflicts if not addressed openly.” The friend’s failure to clarify her intent—gift or shared cost—created a trap where the woman now risks looking ungrateful. Meanwhile, the woman’s refusal to pay upholds her autonomy but strains the bond.

Gift-giving missteps aren’t rare. A 2022 study by the Journal of Consumer Psychology found that 40% of unsolicited gifts lead to tension when recipients feel pressured to reciprocate. The friend’s possible motive—perhaps a kiosk deal or impulse—doesn’t justify retroactively charging.

For a fix, Levine suggests a candid chat. The woman could return the scrub, reinforcing she didn’t agree to pay, while expressing appreciation for the thought. If the friend persists, setting firmer boundaries, like declining future gifts, might prevent repeats.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Reddit’s comment crew is lathering up with opinions, from cheers for standing firm to tips for scrubbing the drama clean. Here’s a splash of their sudsy takes—dive in! These Reddit bubbles pop with insight, but do they wash away the tension in this friendship?

ProfessorYaffle1 − NTA, but if you haven't used it yet, offer to give it back to her . But it's a weird thing for her to do - you were right there and would have bought it if you wanted it, and you explicitly said you weren't buyng anything . She doesn't get to decide that *you* are spending money.

Asleep-Name3194 − NTA. You didn’t ask for the scrub, and she didn’t mention wanting to be paid back when she gave it to you. That’s on her for assuming. If she expected you to split the cost, she should’ve clarified before buying it. It sucks that she regrets the purchase now, but that’s not your responsibility. Maybe offer to give the scrub back if she’s that upset about it, but you definitely don’t owe her money for something you never agreed to buy.

Princess-She-ra − You said you're not buying anything.. She handed you one and said “Here, I got one for you too.” and

Dustyage − I'm sure you already knew that No you are not the

Forward-Dingo1431 − NTA She assumed you somehow knew that when she bought something for you of her own volition and then made it seem like it was a gift, that you telepathically picked up her thoughts to send her the money for it. How did you not know what she thought?? Maybe she's broke? I would give it back to her and say I can't possibly keep this. I don't want you to think I'm taking advantage of you or something. Never accept anything from her again

daydreamer19861986 − NTA, your friend is being totally weird... why would she think you would pay her back for it? If you wanted to buy one, you would have done it then and there. Her reasoning makes zero sense... you didn't buy one from the lady selling them but for some reason you will buy one from your friend?. Give the scrub back to her, she can have two.. She is being ridiculous.

cassowary32 − NTA. That’s not how gifts work. Give her back the scrub, tell her “I’m giving this back. I didn’t ask for it. No big deal”.

FictitiousFuego − Absolutely **NTA**!  How long have you  known this person?  I obviously don't know the history you have with this individual, but being a bit older and having learned the hard way with too many people, this **is** a *huge* red flag and I'd highly recommend closely reflecting upon her behavioral history with you and consider showing her the exit door from your life.

True friends, people who care about you and are a positive influence and support in your life, don't play these types of weird, twisted games. It'd be surprising if this *is* the first time she's ever displayed red flag behaviors with you. It'd be equally shocking if it's the last time (if she is allowed to remain in your life). 

If you haven't used the scrub, maybe just give it back (since she should have the receipt or other proof of purchase) so she can just go ahead and get her money back (that you never asked her to spend on you in the first place).  If you *have* used it, then oh well; it was a *gift*. 

No right-thinking person buys someone something they didn't even ask for, say

TellThemISaidHi − NTA. Your friend got suckered by a mall kiosk. Her lack of ability to say

Unfair-Ad-8524 − I’m assuming she got a discount for buying two.

This skincare scuffle shows how a small gesture, like a gifted scrub, can rub a friendship the wrong way when expectations don’t align. The woman’s refusal to pay for an unasked-for item defends her boundaries, but her friend’s hurt feelings hint at deeper missteps in communication. Should she return the scrub, pay up to keep peace, or stand her ground? What would you do if a friend surprised you with a bill? Drop your thoughts, stories, or advice in the comments—let’s polish this messy moment to a shine!

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