AITA for not paying for the extra meal I accidentally ordered at a wedding?

Weddings are supposed to be joyous celebrations of love, but sometimes, even the smallest details can spark unexpected drama. One Reddit user recently found herself in hot water with the bride’s parents over an extra meal at a wedding—one she never even intended to order. Was she being unreasonable for refusing to pay, or were the hosts unfairly shifting the blame?

‘AITA for not paying for the extra meal I accidentally ordered at a wedding?’

Dining at weddings is a structured affair, with caterers carefully planning meal counts based on RSVPs. But what happens when expectations differ? In this case, the OP selected an adult meal for her sixteen-year-old son, assuming he was too old for a kids’ meal. The wedding hosts, however, had a different perspective—believing anyone under eighteen should receive the child’s portion.

According to wedding etiquette expert Diane Gottsman, “Clear communication about meal choices is essential. If a couple or their families have specific age cutoffs for meals, they must explicitly state them on the invitation or confirm with guests in advance.” In this situation, OP made her selection in good faith, yet was never informed of any changes until the night of the wedding.

It’s also worth considering the broader implications. Most restaurants and venues reserve kids’ meals for those under 12 or 13, as teenagers generally eat the same portions as adults. The expectation that a 16-year-old should eat a meal designed for a small child, without prior notice, is unusual.

Financially, weddings can be expensive, and every additional cost adds up. But was it appropriate for the bride’s parents to reach out after the wedding, essentially billing a guest for their perceived mistake? “It’s bad form to retroactively charge a guest for a misunderstanding,” Gottsman says. “A wedding should be a gesture of hospitality, not a transaction.

The lesson here? If there are specific rules about meals—especially ones that break conventional norms—they should be made crystal clear beforehand. OP was not at fault for assuming her teenage son would receive the meal she requested, nor should she be expected to foot the bill for the mix-up.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Most commenters agreed that OP was NTA (not the a**hole), arguing that it was unfair to expect her to pay for an error she didn’t cause. Some pointed out how ridiculous it was to expect a 16-year-old to eat a kids’ meal, while others found it petty that the bride’s parents would chase her down for reimbursement. However, a few Redditors suggested OP might want to pay simply to avoid unnecessary conflict with the family.

Should OP stand her ground and refuse to pay for the extra meal, or would it be easier to pay and move on? Should wedding hosts be clearer about their meal policies upfront? We’d love to hear your thoughts—drop your opinion in the comments below!