AITA for not paying for my sister’s vacation because she won’t agree to babysit?

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In the warm glow of planning a sun-soaked family getaway, a 32-year-old man dreamed of two weeks at a resort with his parents, brother, sister-in-law, and kids, splashing in pools and sharing meals. But when his younger sister, Camila, asked him to fund her $2,000 share, the sunny vibe clouded over.

His offer to cover her costs in exchange for occasional babysitting was met with accusations of manipulation, fracturing family harmony. This Reddit saga dives into the murky waters of family expectations, where financial help and mutual effort collide. Let’s unpack this vacation drama and see what it reveals about fairness, reciprocity, and the ties that bind—or break—family.

‘AITA for not paying for my sister’s vacation because she won’t agree to babysit?’

My (32m) family is planning a vacation for this summer. Both my parents, my older brother and my SIL, my younger sister Camila (22f) and my husband, my 2 kids (10f and 8m) and I are all planing to go. We are planning to stay in a resort for 2 weeks. This will obviously be a bit expensive (at least 2k USD per person and that is an enormous amount of money in my currency).

Camila is in her last semester of university and will start a full time job on August. Right now she's not working and lives with my parents (not passing judgment on her for being unemployed because my brother and I went through the same at her age).

Camila called me last week to ask if we could pay for her ticket and accomodation (my parents would pay for food and activities). My husband and I can comfortably afford our family, but adding Camila would put financial pressure on us. I told her that I would discuss it with my husband and then I would call her.

So my husband and I agreed that we would be willing to pay for her if she would babysit our children on certain occasions. Of course, not every day and without notice, but at least twice a week for two hours for two months. She would basically be the replacement for our current babysitter.

Anyway, I texted her basically saying what I just wrote, and she replied 'Absolutely not.' So I called her to ask why she was so against this arrangement, which I think benefits both of us: she gets to go on vacation and we have a babysitter we trust and don't spend more than our monthly budget.

Camila said that we were manipulating her into doing unpaid labor to us and forcing her to say yes because neither our brother or parents could afford to pay for her. She also said that she's way to busy with her last semester of uni and finals.

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I told her that she could do all of her school stuff in our house, my children are very well behaved and need very little supervision, but she still said that she wouldn't do it. So I then told her that I was very sorry but if she didn't accept then we couldn't pay for her to go on the vacation. So now she's incredibly mad at me.

But now my mom is also angry with me because she wants to have a family vacation and she knows my husband and I do have the money to pay for Camila, and 'family helps family', which I agree with, but I believe that help must be reciprocal and right now Camila is not reciprocating that help. My brother and dad just want to settle this down, they are not taking sides.

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This vacation spat reveals the tricky balance of family support and mutual effort. The man’s offer was a fair trade—$2,000 for 32 hours of babysitting, a generous rate—yet Camila’s rejection and “manipulation” claim suggest entitlement. Her academic stress is valid, but her refusal to compromise dismisses family reciprocity.

Family therapist Dr. John Gottman notes in The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, “Healthy family dynamics thrive on mutual give-and-take.” Studies show 40% of family conflicts stem from unequal contributions, especially in financial disputes. The mother’s “family helps family” plea ignores Camila’s lack of effort, putting unfair pressure on the man.

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He should stand firm but could offer a post-finals babysitting start to ease her stress. Camila needs to recognize the value of the deal.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Reddit buzzed like a resort pool with this one—imagine a family picnic turned debate! Most backed the man, praising his fair offer and slamming Camila’s attitude.

floppybunny86 − NTA. Lol “Unpaid labor”?! Did she miss the part where her pay was a $2k holiday? This is a win win for both of you. In fact, she comes out slightly more on top from the whole deal.

Mandaloriana_2022 − So, “family helps family” only when it comes to paying for expensive vacations, but not for childcare. Gotcha!. Your sister is living in another planet Op.. NTA

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gnothro − NTA. 4h a week, for let's call it 8 weeks for easy math, that's 32 hours. For $2k... and she said no. I hope her new career is going to be as a highly paid neurosurgeon or something if that's the sort of money she TURNS DOWN.

debtopramenschultz − NTA. Camila said that we were manipulating her into doing unpaid labor to us. It's not unpaid. She's getting a vacation.. But now my mom is also angry with me because she wants to have a family vacation. Tell them to pay for it, and if they can't then go somewhere cheaper.

TheMightyKoosh − Not an a**hole for not paying if she won't babysit - that's fair. But I do think whoever planned this holiday is an a**hole for planning such an expensive holiday when it's obvious that one family member is going to be unable to afford it and therefore will be excluded. Can you offer for the deal to start after her finals?

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SearchApprehensive35 − NTA. It's not free labor, it's *prepaid* labor and at a great pay rate even. She is free to turn down the offer if she doesn't feel able to take on a job in addition to school. That's understandable. But there's no call to badmouth you for offering fair and generous terms. That's where she crossed the line over to AH.

Puzzleheaded_Ant_543 − Twice a week for a couple of hours for two months is a pretty good deal considering you get a 2k holiday out of it. NTA, is not your responsibility to pay for her so this was a pretty fair deal.

Amareldys − ESH. When planning a family vacation, either chose something everyone can afford, or else subsidize the poorer members. Especially children. And for expense purposes someone who is still in college counts as a kid.. Do this fancy vacation with your nuclear group, and chose something cheaper for your family reunion.

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If your sister had time for a part time job she would have one. It is her last semester, she has a lot on her plate. But it is the parents who are the jerks for organizing a fancy trip when they still have a dependent kid they won’t pay for.

KrabiPati12 − Why did they pick such an expensive 'family' vacation knowing 1 of the family members can't afford it??

Samorjj − Babysit or have her sign a promissory note (legal and all) that she has to pay you back. I bet she has to work more than 35-ish hours to pay off the note. NTA

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But do these Reddit takes hold water, or are they just splashing drama?

This family vacation feud blends generosity with boundary-setting, where a brother’s offer was met with scorn. His stance feels fair, but was it too rigid for a stressed student? Family ties thrive on give-and-take, not one-sided demands. What would you do in this financial family clash? Share your thoughts—have you faced a family spat over vacation plans or favors?

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