AITA for not opening a chest to ease my roommates fears?

Jonathan Hours
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In a cozy apartment filled with memories of family gatherings and treasured mementos, a locked chest becomes the unlikely center of a heated dispute. The chest, reminiscent of a pirate’s treasure, holds decades of family history while sparking unexpected anxiety in one roommate. Each glance in its direction seems to stir a mix of nostalgia and unease among those living under the same roof.

The atmosphere is charged when one roommate, haunted by past traumatic experiences involving weapons, demands transparency. What starts as a simple request transforms into a significant domestic standoff, as the OP stands firm on preserving the sentimental charm and security of an irreplaceable family heirloom.

‘AITA for not opening a chest to ease my roommates fears?’

Recently we had to move some important stuff out of our family storage because of a rat chewing things up. I brought home a large chest full of family scrapbooks and pictures. It looks like an old timey pirate treasure chest with a cartoonishly large padlock. One of my roommates noticed it and asked to look inside. I told him what is was but didn’t have the key to open it.

He then asked if I could break the lock so he could conform with his own eyes. I said no because it wasn’t mine to break and my family liked the charm of the lock. He got upset and insisted I either show him what’s inside or get it out the house. He’s worried there might be a weapon inside, for context he has trauma from any sort of weapon.

I tried assuring him there was nothing like that inside but he kept insisting I open it. I would take it out the house but i don’t want my parents to have to lug this over 100 pound chest up the stairs and no one can put their hands on the key My other roommate says I should just open it to give him peace of mind AITA because I don’t want to open it.

This locked chest fiasco is a classic case of clashing personal boundaries in shared spaces. The Redditor’s refusal to open the chest respects their family’s sentimental attachment, while the roommate’s insistence stems from a deeply personal fear. Both have valid perspectives, but the standoff reveals a bigger issue: navigating trauma in communal living.

Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, a renowned trauma expert, notes in his book The Body Keeps the Score, “Trauma is not just an event that took place sometime in the past; it is also the imprint left by that experience on mind, body, and soul.” This explains the roommate’s urgency but doesn’t justify overriding the Redditor’s autonomy. Trauma can heighten sensitivity to perceived threats, yet expecting others to rearrange their lives around it can strain relationships.

The broader issue here is roommate dynamics. A 2023 study by Apartment List found that 60% of renters reported conflicts with roommates over personal boundaries. The Redditor’s stance prioritizes their property rights, while the roommate’s demand reflects a need for safety. Neither is inherently wrong, but communication is key.

For solutions, Dr. van der Kolk’s work suggests trauma-informed dialogue: acknowledge the fear without conceding unreasonable demands. The Redditor could propose a compromise, like storing the chest in their locked room, while the roommate might explore therapy to manage their triggers.

Heres what people had to say to OP:

The Reddit community is known for its candid and sometimes humorous takes on life’s dilemmas. Many commenters have weighed in with opinions that blend practicality with a touch of sarcasm, leaving readers both amused and reflective.

ifbevvixej − NTA. I'm calling b.s. on his

This is like me saying noise triggers my PTSD so my roommate must whisper when in the apartment, wear socks, and walk very carefully and mindfully to not make noise. Whereas what it really means is loud noises trigger it so it would be upon me to wear noise canceling headphones to manage myself versus make unreasonable demands of my roommate.. He needs therapy.

Contrary_Coyotebait − Lmao nta. Look im sorry for laughing but if your roomie has that much trauma that a dusty ass box that you cant even open freaks them out then they need inpatient care.. Your allowed to have boxes. Your allowed to have crates.. And...your allowed to have weapons!!. Egads!! He doesnt have to like it.

Keep it in your room but understand if hes this freaked out hes either gonna try to get rid of it or break it open. And tear up stuff looking thru it trying to find a weapon. Hope you got a lock on your room and are prepared. Lay out very clearly the consequences of breaking any lock. If hes still freaking out call 911 so he can get the help he *clearly* needs.

Because if a chest makes him spaz then you cant really trust him to be reasonable. His mental incapacity is not yours to tend to. Thats his responsibility. He may not want a box because it freaks him out and thats ok but he cannot dictate what YOU are allowed to have and as long as you keep the chest in your room with the door shut he doesnt get to b**ch about it.

OldSaggytitBiscuits − NTA. It's none of your roommate's business what's in there. It's not his property, you are holding it on behalf of your family. You told him there's nothing dangerous in there, and even if there was, unless it's a time bomb or vial of toxic gas that could go at any moment, the item or items are secured by the lock. He can't tell you what property you bring in, tell him to f**k off and mind his business.

IamIrene − And so what if there *is* a weapon inside? Is he afraid you're going to use it on him? Or maybe that it will crawl out of the chest on its own and get him? Lol.. His trauma is his problem, not yours.. You are NTA. Your personal belongings are not his business. Period.

[Reddit User] − NTA. His trauma is his to manage and he needs therapy. Unless you’ve been unreliable as a roommate, he should take your word for it. 

GrapefruitSobe − NTA. But be cautious, your roommate may take things into his own hands. I hope you have it in your room and your room has a lock.

helenaflowers − NTA. However, I'd bet money you're going to come home one day to the lock either smashed open or with a visible attempt having been made to do so - so I think it might be worth getting it out of your house for that reason alone. But no, you're not the a**hole for refusing a completely irrational request like this - his trauma isn't yours to manage.

Hari_om_tat_sat − NTA. He has no right to look inside and, as others have mentioned, his trauma is his business to manage. You do NOT owe him a peek inside your property. However, if _you_ want to appease him, tell him he can have a look if he pays for a locksmith to come to your place to open it & make a key for you. You choose the locksmith. This way you both benefit.

StAlvis − NTA. He’s worried there might be a weapon inside, for context he has trauma from any sort of weapon.. That's **_nonsense_**.

Cavane42 − NTA. Tell him

These encapsulate the prevailing sentiment on Reddit—but as always, the humor and opinions shared may not capture the complete reality of living with unresolved trauma. Are these views an accurate reflection of personal responsibility or just another thread in the fabric of online banter?

In conclusion, the debate over whether to open a cherished chest for the sake of a roommate’s anxieties touches on themes of trust, mental health, and the value of personal history. The OP’s resolve to protect family memories while standing by personal boundaries invites a broader conversation about respect and compromise in shared living spaces. What would you do if you found yourself torn between honoring family traditions and addressing a loved one’s deep-seated fears? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below.

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