AITA for not naming my baby after their father?

A new mom’s joy in naming her son Jacob, after her grandfather, turns bitter when her ex, Chris, erupts over not being included. Having cheated with eight women during her pregnancy, used a sonogram as an ashtray, and signed away parental rights, Chris demands the baby carry his name as a third-generation namesake. Backed by her mom but questioned by her sister, the 25-year-old holds firm, prioritizing her son’s future over a deadbeat’s ego. The clash reignites wounds of betrayal, raising questions of rights and respect.

This isn’t just about a name—it’s a clash of loyalty, legacy, and independence. Her choice is fierce, but is it fair? Readers are hooked: should she honor her ex’s wishes, or protect her son’s identity? The parenting drama demands a verdict.

‘AITA for not naming my baby after their father?’

This new mom shared her naming conflict on Reddit, detailing Chris’s infidelity and his audacious demands. Here’s her original post and edit, unpacking the fiery fallout.

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I (25F) gave birth to my son “Jacob” 6 days ago, who is a bundle of sunshine and joy and everything wonderful in the world. My baby daddy “Chris” (27M) has not been in the picture of anything since I found out he cheated on me when I was 4 months pregnant with not 1, not 2, but 8 other girls.

So I kicked him out (he was staying with me for 3 weeks total after he got kicked out by his roommate for reasons that are really specific so I’m not saying it). We were going to do the cohabit parenting style and the whole nine yards until I found out about his infidelity. So I don’t know where’s he’s been staying and nor do I care.

So he already signed over his rights (legally and the court was involved) but will still pay monthly child support. We also opted to discuss visitations on our own with a chaperone (certain things have surfaced with the law that I did NOT know about until just recently) and he has obviously agreed to them. He has not taken interest in our child at all.

For example I gave him a sonogram of our baby over lunch one day and he used it as an ash tray to take out his cigarette. He has also claimed I cheated on him and the child isn’t his (I did not cheat) and completely cut contact with me a month ago. So I had my mom and sister in the delivery room with me and we decided names after he was born because I chose to have the gender a surprise.

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We named him “Jacob” in honor of my grandfather and the middle name after my moms brother and my last name since I never married the dude. I obviously I did the Facebook post about him and everything and then a few hours later I get nonstop messages and calls from Chris calling me all kinds of names (basically an a**hole) for not including him in the name decision making.

He told me he wanted him named after himself (he’s a junior) and he wanted my son to be the 3rd along with the middle name after his uncle. I moved towns and everything to be close to my mom who is on my side saying that he’s a deadbeat and doesn’t deserve anything. My sister told me she can see why he’s angry but she’s also on my side. So AITA?

Edit: He was also livid that I gave Jacob my last name instead of his. He said his “lineage” was dying as he’s the only son.

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Naming a child is a parent’s prerogative, especially when the other parent has legally relinquished rights. Chris’s infidelity with eight women, dismissive acts like defacing a sonogram, and accusations of her cheating show a profound lack of investment in their son. His demand to name the baby after himself—claiming “lineage”—is an entitled grasp for control, not love, particularly after cutting contact. The woman’s choice of Jacob, honoring her grandfather, and her last name reflect her role as the primary caregiver and her family’s support.

This mirrors disputes over parental influence post-separation. A 2023 study in Family Court Review found that non-custodial parents with minimal involvement often seek symbolic control, like naming, to assert relevance. Chris’s behavior aligns with this, exploiting his limited role.

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Family law expert Karen Bonnell says, “When parental rights are signed away, naming decisions rest solely with the custodial parent; emotional manipulation doesn’t grant veto power”. Her insight validates the woman’s autonomy, though her sister’s empathy for Chris suggests a need for family clarity. The chaperoned visitation agreement, prompted by Chris’s legal issues, underscores the need for firm boundaries.

The woman should consult a family law attorney to solidify visitation terms and block Chris’s harassment. Chris needs to earn involvement through consistent support, not demands.

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Heres what people had to say to OP:

Reddit dove into this baby name battle with takes as bold as a birth announcement. Here’s a roundup of their thoughts, sprinkled with humor—because even parenting feuds need a chuckle.

DisneyBuckeye − NTA. Congratulations on your son!! Your baby daddy has relinquished all rights to the baby, and is not part of your life. I understand you've discussed visitation, however that is going to make things murky if he has no legal rights - I'd suggest consulting a family law attorney. Otherwise, he's got no say. After verifying that it's legal to do so, I'd block him in every way possible and have no further contact.

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ArcheryOnThursday − NTA. He put out his cigarette on the sonogram??! Wtf. He signed over his rights. That includes naming. Why is it that s**tty dads always want their boys to be named after them? Toxic Macho BS.

It sounds like a name might be the only tie he ever has with him and that will just be salt in the abandonment wound to your son. Dude sounds like a dead beat criminal. It would be a sin and a curse to name a baby after him.

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SummerRocks1 − NTA boy you must regret having had s** with such a winner 🙄

Samael13 − NTA - He cheats on you, shows zero interest in the pregnancy, and accuses you of cheating, and then thinks that the baby gets to have his name? What a guy.

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If he wants a son to be the third, then let him learn from this not to be a s**t partner. In the meantime, you should definitely make sure your arrangements are legally enforceable, because he seems like exactly the kind of person to decide 'f**k it, I'm a ghost.' and peace out.

JBB2002902 − NTA. He signed over his parental rights, the naming goes along with that. Sucks to say it but it doesn’t sound like he’ll even be in the kid’s life by his 1st birthday. Don’t dwell on it, just enjoy this amazing time.

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[Reddit User] − NTA. Thats your baby not his anymore.. tell him he can play daddy to a moldy pickle and name that pickle JR then.

sparksgirl1223 − If he banged 8 girls while you were gestating, I sincerely doubt his lineage is dying. Impressive guilt trip though..I do give him an A for effort.. That being said.. He SIGNED OVER HIS RIGHTS. HE ID NOT LEGALLY A FATHER AND GETS ZERO SAY IN THIS. Also, since he signed off his rights, I say don't toy around with visitation. He has no right to it.. You are NTA.

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CrystalQueen3000 − NTA. I find it super weird when there’s an entire generation of people in the same family with the same name. Let people have their own individual identity.

NefariousnessGlum424 − NTA I wouldn’t want my kid named after a cheating criminal either.

OutrageousYogurt80 − NTA, and I’m confused how your sister can see his anger? He didn’t earn the right to be a part of the naming, and why would he even want a baby he didn’t believe to be his to have his name? Please keep up your boundaries and visits with a chaperone. He sounds unstable.

These Reddit quips are fiery, but do they cradle the truth? Was the mom’s naming choice a rightful stand, or too dismissive of her ex’s feelings?

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This new mom’s naming saga is a vibrant tale of strength amid betrayal. Choosing Jacob over her cheating ex’s legacy, she defends her son’s identity, cheered by Reddit and her mom but questioned by her sister. As Chris’s demands echo, one question lingers: can she shield her son from his father’s shadow? What would you do when an ex demands a stake in your child’s name? Share your stories and weigh in on this heartfelt drama!

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